I'll be back soon, I promise...

Things are gonna be a bit quiet around here for a little while, and I wanted to let you know what's going on so that you don't think I'm dead, bored with the blog, or sneaking off to Minnesota to try to convince Joe Mauer to let me nurse him back to health.

I've accepted a job back in the Philly suburbs, which is where I'm originally from.  It's a new position in a new-to-me industry, and I think I'll be quite happy there--I'm very excited to get started.  I'll be living about 20-30 minutes from Mama and Papa Grammarphile, about 30 minutes from the Phillies' ballpark, and about 15-20 minutes away from several seriously kickass malls.  To say that I'm stoked is probably the understatement of the century.

My time on Long Island comes to a close mid-June, and I'm spending the time between now and then packing, donating boatloads of stuff to Goodwill, saying goodbye to friends I've met in New York, trying to leave my current office with as much information and help as possible upon my departure, and all the other crazy stuff that comes along with a big move and a new job.  I'll be posting on Red Pen rather sporadically for the next couple weeks--but closer to the end of June, I'll be all settled in and will be back and blogging regularly.  Once I am not so insanely busy, I'll be back to my usual grammar-related snarkiness and mockery...  :)

FOODIE FRIDAY for May 20, 2011

There's one grocery store that I pass on my drive home from work, and even though there are other grocery stores I like better, I frequently stop at this one because it saves me time--the ones I like better are farther away.  Plus, there are always some pretty ridiculous grammar- and spelling-related errors lurking about in the store.  I definitely got a few weird looks from people when I whipped out the camera to take this picture at the salad bar, but I think those weird looks were worth it.

Happy Friday, everyone!  I'm headed to Philly to see the Phillies take on the Rangers--my very favorite baseball team versus my third favorite team, respectively.  Although I'll be rooting for the Phillies, I might wear my Rangers antlers (yes, I actually have Rangers antlers) down to the fence while trying to convince Rangers to come over and sign autographs for me.  I know, I know--I am totally incorrigible.  :)  Have a wonderful weekend!

Stinky apostrophe usage!

There's so much about this article that isn't written well, but the absolute worst part is that this writer really stinks when it comes to proper apostrophe placement and usage.  ;)

Thanks to LadyStyx for spotting this one!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for May 18, 2011

I know this writer screwed up just one tiny word, but I think it makes a big difference; "a lot to come up with" is not exactly the same as "a lot of come up with."  One sounds much pervier, especially to those of us whose minds are perpetually in the gutter.  I get that this is a serious story, but when I read it, somehow my eyes were immediately drawn to "a lot of come," which caused me to giggle rather maniacally.

Happy Hump Day, everyone!

Apparently the upgrading doesn't extend to their signage...

There's probably no need for the British spelling of "apologize" here, as this sign is posted at a gas station in New York.  But since I'm one of those silly Americans who is totally charmed by all things British (at the top of the very long list: Muse, Refreshers candies, and Alexander McQueen), I'm OK with letting that spelling slide.

However, I can't let the other thing slide.  You know, that whole "upgrading ourself" thing.  It's one of the more absurd errors I've seen lately, and I'm thrilled that this is not a gas station I regularly pass by during my day-to-day travels...seeing this goofy sign every day would seriously drive me nuts.  Like, nuts to the point of going out there in the middle of the night and taking a chainsaw to the bottom of the sign so that the writing on the sign ends with the word "upgrading."  At this point I don't care what they're upgrading, and I don't care if the sign specifically mentions what they're upgrading--but that "ourself" really needs to go.

Thanks to JOHN B. for spotting this crazy sign!

MAD LIBS WITH THE GRAMMARPHILE, 5/16/11

A while back, I ran this "Mad Libs with The Grammarphile" feature, and you guys came up with some really funny stuff.  The problem was, I wasn't finding too many errors that would work for a Mad Libs post...until now.

In case it's too small for you to read, the Mad Libs-worthy sentence is as follows: "Authorities received two 911 calls about the abduction, one from Clint, 25, and the other from Bobo's mother, who wasn't."  Which raises the question "Wasn't what?"

So here's your Mad Libs challenge for today.  Tell me what exactly Bobo's mother wasn't.  (This is a good one, folks--a verb could fit nicely in that blank, and so could an adjective...) Think of the funniest word that you could use to fill in that blank...leave your responses in the comments section below!

Authorities received two 911 calls about the abduction, one from Clint, 25, and the other from Bobo's mother, who wasn't ___________.

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR: May 11, 2011

 

I nearly missed that error above, which was nestled in an article about deciphering job posting lingo.  The article had about 5 or 6 glaring errors, but that one was the funniest.  "Abiltity"--does that mean "what one's boobs are capable of doing"?

Speaking of boobs, somehow people looking for boobs are hitting on my site rather frequently.  (And yes, I realize this will probably happen more often since I've written the word "boobs" so many times in this article, which will make my blog that much more attractive to people looking for boobs.)  The proof is right here:

Somehow I'm not entirely surprised I have a bunch of pervs for readers--it's not like I have any room to talk, since the Hump Day Grammar posts are undoubtedly my favorite ones to write!--but I am really quite curious about the thought process of the person who searched for "red pen sex."  Is that sex with an actual red pen, or is it sex that gets edited and all marked up afterward?

Happy Hump Day, you crazy kids!  :)

Grammarphile's on a baseball high. You've been warned.

Why are these guys so happy?  Clearly it's because in a month and 4 days (but who's counting?) they're going to meet one of their biggest fans.  And by "one of their biggest fans," I mean ME.  *squeal*  My family and I got tickets to the now-sold-out Phillies Phestival this morning, and I am so. Freakin'. EXCITED!!!  So excited, in fact, that I've been flapping all morning long (or should I refer to it as "phlapping" since it's Phillies-related?).  That's right--when I get excited about meeting baseball players, I tend to flap my arms and hands really rapidly, generally while giggling maniacally.  I look hilariously retarded, and in those moments I also probably am hilariously retarded.  (I never do this around any actual ballplayers, thank goodness, but my family and friends have witnessed the flapping on several occasions immediately after I've met various Phillies and Twins.  That's the point where I think they're really tempted to pretend they don't really know me, let alone are actually related to me.) 

So yeah, it's been a flaptastic, gigglerific day.   Yep, I just made up two words.  Grammarphiles are well within their rights to make up goofy new words, especially if it means they're taking a break from flapping (phlapping!!!) to do so...  I can hardly focus on work because I'm already figuring out the perfect outfit to wear to this event.  Whatever I choose has to work well with my red stilettos.  And I have 4 pairs of red stilettos to choose from...  Decisions, decisions!

Oh, and here's the obligatory grammar-related thing (just a silly little typo) for the readers who don't care about baseball.  Trump's a tool.  That's all I've got today...

Happy Mother's Day from Red Pen, Inc.

Today is Mother's Day, so of course I've gotten a gift for my mom.  I don't have one for my "Mon," though, as we have no Rastafarians in my family...

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who read this blog--and especially to Mama Grammarphile, who is truly fantastic and very, very loved!

FOODIE FRIDAY for May 6, 2011

Today's Foodie Friday deals with pet food.  But for what kind of pet?  The picture doesn't quite match the words...

Also, it looks like whoever wrote this ad has no comma sense whatsoever.  From the way this ad was written, it looks like the reader is being addressed as "free."  Well, Mr. or Ms. Pet Food Ad Writer, I'll have you know that I am not that cheap! 

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for May 4, 2011

This one's not really grammar-related, but it is quite funny...I couldn't resist posting it!  ;)

Thanks to LadyStyx for today's Hump Day error!

Double trouble from our friends at Copyeditors Needed Now

Our friends at Copyeditors Needed Now gave us two errors in one tiny list of links!  It must be our lucky day.

The first error is a misspelling; her name is Pippa.  The second error is a case of apostrophe abuse--the Webbys are an awards show type of thing, and there's nothing they possess in this instance (except perhaps questionable taste, if Bieber is the fan favorite there), so that apostrophe is unnecessary.

Oh, Copyeditors Needed Now...you crazy kids just don't stop, do you?

MISSPELLING MONDAY for May 2, 2011

It looks like a couple groups collaborated to create this amusing sign.  An anti-punctuation group took on the top portion, Misspellers Anonymous tackled the middle, and the Department of Redundancy Department took care of the bottom part of the sign.  Nice collaboration, but poor execution...  Thanks to MICHAEL for spotting this one!

On a rather unrelated note, just in case you haven't seen this already, check out Breaking Copy's coverage of local news stations making some rather egregious typos during the coverage of last night's news about Osama bin Laden.  Thanks to LadyStyx for the link and heads-up!  And this screw-up (who the heck is that "bin Landen" guy, anyway?) is also pretty epic...