LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "The End"

Well, kids, this is it. The end. Tonight was the last-ever episode of Lost. Right now I'm writing my last-ever Lost recap.

But it's not the end of the questions--no, certainly not. I've spent the past few hours mulling over the finale. I've watched Jimmy Kimmel, hoping that someone--anyone--could offer some useful intel on the finale. And you know what? I still feel lost.

The reason I love Lost is because is does two things that are very tough to do: have a fantastic plot, and have fantastic characters. Most things have a noticeably better plot than characters, or vice versa. For much of the six seasons of Lost, I felt like both plot and characters were equally lights-out.

I think I've changed my mind on that viewpoint.

After seeing the entirety of Lost, all six seasons, I'm going to say that the thing they did best was, undoubtedly, character.

At this point, I'm really, really, really (x 1,000) iffy on the plot.

From what I've gleaned from various blogs/commenters/Facebook friends/etc, it seems like what happened was the island timeline was real, the sideways timeline was purgatory, and *this* group of people was so intensely connected that they all needed to move on together--after working through their emotional stuff and redeeming themselves as good human beings, of course. There is no "now"--as Christian Shepherd said--and they didn't all die at the same time (some before Jack, some many years after), but they all needed to move on together--as shown in the church scene near the end of the show.

Standing on its own, that's a decent explanation. But what I don't like is that, if that explains the entire show, there's a lot of shit that was pretty pointless over these past six seasons. I'm not going to bitch and moan about wanting answers to every little thing--but I feel like the writers failed at creating a wholly convincing story. They could have done this story in, like, three seasons. Cut out the freighter (even though I'd miss those folks). Cut out a lot of the Dharma crap. Cut out the time-traveling. In the end, did we need all this stuff? Nope. The writers could have conveyed the same message in less time and with far fewer distractions. And looking back on the last several seasons, I feel like we saw a lot of distractions. So my stance, really, is that could be a decent explanation for a show that isn't Lost. But I think Lost deserved more than this. I think we as viewers wanted to know that a decent amount of what we saw over the past few years mattered. We wanted to feel confident in the knowledge that the writers had their shit together. I'm not entirely sure that's the case.

What they did do well--really, really well--is character. We've cared about these characters for so long, and during the finale, we saw these characters at peace (well, mostly--but I'll touch on that later. We saw them reconnect with the souls who were important to them. We saw many of them, these flawed souls, strip away some flaws to become more giving, more whole. I think all of those moments were incredibly satisfying. I'll argue that those moments were what saved this finale. Do I care enough about these characters to overlook the shaky overall plot/story and simply focus on the individual characters' stories? Yes.

The recognition scenes were incredibly well done. Many of them brought me nearly to tears, and I'm the anti-cry. The Claire/Charlie one--wow. Just wow. I think that one was my favorite, with the Sun/Jin one being a close second. I'm not the hugest Suliet fan, and yet I liked their recognition scene a lot, too. And Locke wiggling his toes after Jack had done his surgery--and then, later on, with Ben telling him he didn't need that wheelchair anymore...awesome. These are the moments that make Lost special. These are the reasons we still care about this show. These are things that, in my mind, even a flawed storyline can't ruin. We saw Kate and Jack each being very heroic, and we saw Hurley stepping up into a leadership role even though he was clearly nervous about it. We saw the characters we've loved for so long finally grow, and I think each character arc was really done right. It's just that, in my opinion, those arcs were then inserted into what I feel was a flawed, distracting, and needlessly confusing overall storyline. The only character whose arc I'm not sure I liked is Ben's--I'm not sure they wrapped him up the right way. I loved, absolutely loved, that he was Hurley's #2 guy, helping him protect the island. I thought that was fantastic. But I wish he'd have gone in the church with the rest of the Losties we know and love. I'm thinking perhaps he stayed back, knowing his time to move on hadn't arrived, that perhaps he had some more redemption to do. But you know what? If he stayed on the island helping Hurley for a good, long time, isn't that enough to earn him some redemption and a ticket to heaven with all the folks who beat the hell out of him at various times on the island? (And it's not like it was just 815'ers who were in that church, either--Penny was there, and she was never on that flight...same deal with Juliet...so why was Ben excluded? On that note, what about Richard Alpert? I wish I understood how--or even if--Guyliner's character arc was tied up...)

One thing I love about Lost is that it always gives us things to think about. We've seen The End, but it's not the end for us, really. We have blog posts to read and write and comment on, character arcs to consider, water-cooler chatter to engage in--simply put, these characters and this story will be on our minds for a long, long time. None of our questions are easily answered, and if you don't have a million questions running through your mind at this point, you must be a much smarter person than I am. ;) Not only do I have questions, but--as a budding novelist--I have praise and criticisms for how they approached this finale and this show as a whole. I've learned a lot from Lost in terms of how to create characters that audiences can connect with, how to enhance a plot with flashbacks, and how to build a linear storyline (obviously Lost didn't do that--they were nowhere close to a linear storyline--that's one of the lessons I learned from what I felt like Lost could have improved upon. I knew that going into this finale, I've already taken away so many good writing-related tips that, no matter what, even if the ending was unsatisfying, I had soaked up so much good stuff from Lost that I, as a future novelist, found this series meaningful and enlightening and educational.

I still don't know if I'm satisfied. I loved so many moments of this finale (from the "Awww" moments like Vincent laying down with Jack during the last on-island scene to the funny moments like Miles saying "I believe in the power of duct tape"), and so many character arcs, and the recognition/connection scenes for these characters. I'm still struggling with the big picture. Maybe sleeping on it will help. Maybe not.

In the end (and, literally, in "The End") I think that the characters not only find redemption themselves, but they redeem this crazy-ass storyline. Without these strong, emotion-evoking characters (and the superb acting, especially by Michael Emerson, Terry O'Quinn, and Josh Holloway), I think this story would have fallen flat on its face. We started out this series caring about the characters and not knowing what the hell was going on plot-wise, and I think that's how we--or at least I--have ended this series.

Fellow Losties, how did you like the finale? Did you like it at all? What were your favorite moments? And for goodness' sake, if you can make me like the storyline better, please throw your best theories out there. :) I wanna hear 'em!

Namaste. :)

Poor Mr. Mauer...

Misspellings are sad. They're even sadder when they involve screwing up the name of one of the hottest (and most talented...and nicest) ballplayers in baseball.

Joe Mauer won a TYIB award...but that website gets a Crappy Spelling Award! Grrrr. (Note to whoever screwed up his name: Next time you need to spell Mauer's name, just spell it G-O-D. A three-letter word is easier to get correct as opposed to a five-letter one, right? And GOD is equally accurate...)

LOST: My predictions.

In a few days, it'll all be over. We'll have answers. Perhaps not all of them, but some of them. We'll know the fates of the characters we've cared about for several seasons.

I'm excited and sad for the arrival of "The End." Excited because of course it's always fun to finally learn how the story ends. Sad because part of me doesn't want it to end. (Part of me does, as it would surely jump the shark if they let this show just run on forever, and also because it would be nice to not be up until 3 AM writing recaps one night a week.) Some of these characters have felt like family after all this time watching them. Kate's one of the few female characters I've ever been able to relate to in any TV show. I've grown to love Hurley. Ben (benfactor, hehe!)never fails to astound me somehow. I've learned things from these characters. They and their storylines have given me some good lessons in how to craft my own characters and storylines in the two books I'm currently writing. What the hell am I gonna do without getting to watch these characters every week, seeing how they change and grow within a rather chaotic storyline (or, um, two storylines)?

Lost is constantly on my mind, and I analyze the hell out of it, but I'm still not entirely sure how it's going to end. The pieces are all there, scrambled in my head, but I haven't put them together yet. What I think I care about more than *how it all ends* is what happens to each individual character...and so I'm offering my predictions for the fates of all characters currently alive on the Island here. (I'll freely admit I don't have much of a clue about the Sideways world, so I'm not going to propose any predictions about that.)

JACK...is the candidate now, but I strongly suspect he won't be by the end of the show. Jack's been the obvious choice as long as we've known there needed to be a candidate. But I think this is too obvious of a choice. When has Lost ever done anything so simple and predictable? Pretty much never. My prediction: On-Island, he's gonna die. Not sure how or by whose hand, but my spidey sense tells me Jack's not making it out of this show alive...but I think he'll manage to do something heroic on his way out.

HURLEY...all season long, Hurley's been given more leadership than in previous seasons. I don't think this is an accident. Hurley is also the only one of the remaining 4 candidates (ie Jack/Kate/Sawyer) who doesn't have a child. And in "What They Died For," they may as well have hung a giant, neon "FORESHADOWING!!!" sign above his head when he said something along the lines of "I'm glad you got it--I didn't want it" to Jack. Famous last words, Hugo. My prediction: Something's going to happen to make Hurley choose to take over Jacob's role.

KATE...for some reason, I see her chained to the Island. I don't feel like she has any reason to get off the Island. What is there for her back home? A child that isn't hers, being raised by someone who truly is related to him. And...not much else. Kate is a very loyal character, and I feel like if something needs to be done on the Island, she'll stay to help make sure it gets done. Especially if Jack or Sawyer is involved. But I also can't see her dying on-Island, either. My prediction: I see her being a mother...but to the Island.

SAWYER...well, I hate to say this, but I can't see him staying alive too long in the Island timeline. Last season we saw him as a hero type, and not only has he continued to try to be heroic this season, he also carries the weight of Sun's, Jin's, and Sayid's deaths on his shoulders--and Juliet's, too. He feels responsible for their fates, and he's going to do something heroic to redeem himself. My prediction: Something not too far off from the jumping-out-of-the-helicopter-to-save-everyone in season 4...but (son of a BITCH!) with less, um, living results.

MILES...I'm not sure why he's still kickin' around, but he is. And so I suspect he's there for a reason. I just don't know it yet. I'm torn between thinking that he's not quite important enough to live, or that because he's not all that important, there's no real reason to kill him off (because the most impactful deaths come from MAJOR characters). My prediction: Something important/significant will happen with him and the Whispers.

RICHARD...is an old soul, and probably a very tired soul. I don't believe for a second that he's dead. I also don't believe he'll live for too much longer, though. Richard has been seeking redemption himself. He wants to be with Isabella, his dead wife. My prediction: His years of loyalty will get him the redemption he's been looking for. And although I think he'll die, I think this will be a happy ending for him. Perhaps one of the only happy endings for on-Island characters. I think he's earned it, though.

LAPIDUS...yeah, I don't buy the idea that he's dead, either. My prediction: He's going to pop out and do something important at some crucial moment. There's still a plane on the Island, and he's a pilot. This cannot be an accident. My really wild prediction: He'll pilot a plane that gets CLAIRE off the Island.

BEN...I've been saying all along he's the Severus Snape of this bunch. They built him up to make him look "bad" for a while. Then they showed us he can be good. And bad. And good. And bad. Which Ben's the real Ben? I think he's got some good and some bad in him. I think a lot of his "badness" was rooted in good intentions--and in being manipulated by Island entities Jacob and Smokey. But I think the good's gonna win out. I think he's gonna be a hero, albeit a tragic one--I think he's pulling a long con on Smokey, and I think he's gonna succeed. My prediction: Ben's not gonna make it off the Island alive, but the Island's gonna be better off because of whatever he does. I also don't think Ben's gonna get the Island like FLocke promised him, but I think that after all this time trying to act as a leader, Ben will finally get that leader role right in the finale.

VINCENT...I'd heard a while back (at least a year or two ago) that the only character Darlton would absolutely confirm as surviving would be Vincent. I don't think he's gonna be the only survivor, but I do think he'll keep Hurley good company during his strange, lonely tenure of protecting the Island. ;)

ROSE and BERNARD: No clue at all, prediction-wise. But I hope that whatever fate they have, they are together. They're yin and yang, peace personified.

DESMOND...may be the constant, but I feel like he's also a hell of a variable. He could destroy the Island...and I think he could also save it. Which will he do? Because Widmore so often referred to Desmond as needing to make a sacrifice, I'm gonna say I don't see him making it off-Island alive. And I think hes already well aware of that bad is at peace with it.

Also, let's not forget THE CHILDREN (not currently on-Island, but not dead at this point, either): Don't forget about those damn kids for a minute. Aaron was one of the Oceanic 6. He's gotta be special. It would not surprise me if the kids (Aaron, Ji Yeon, Clementine, David, Charlie...) were the next generation of candidates. Think of how many weird family ties there have been on and to this Island (Faraday, Charlotte, and Miles each had parents who spent time on the Island; Desmond's father-in-law was connected to the Island; Jack has a dead father who has been sighted on the Island; Locke's father also appeared on the Island). That has to be meaningful...my gut tells me so!

What are your predictions? And what will you miss most about this show? Chat at me in the Comments section!

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "What They Died For"

You'd think I'd complain about the dangling preposition in this episode's title, but no--I'm entirely too focused on how freakin' great this episode was to care about one silly little preposition. (I know, some grammarphile I am, right?)

This episode really renewed my faith in Lost, making me believe that we're gonna get a damn good finale on Sunday night. It gave us a sense of direction and the beginning of a sense of closure. It gave us humor and suspense. It gave us things to think about in the days leading up to Sunday--but not so many things that we're like, "Oh no, not again with the questions!"

Some high points of this episode:

* Ben and Rousseau. Holy shit, Michael Emerson is just so good. So good. He truly steals the show, and tonight was no exception. While I thought he was strong in every scene he was in, the one with him and Rousseau in Rousseau's house rendered me speechless. The look on his face...just wow. Too often we've seen Ben "I always have a plan" Linus play it cool, but watching his face as he realized what he missed/needed/wanted in his life ("You're the closest thing to a father she's ever had")...that was priceless.

* Pure comedy gold. There were some brilliant one-liners in this episode. My personal favorite? "I lived in these houses 30 years ago--otherwise known as last week," Miles said to Ben. Love it! Also loved "We insist--even if we have to kidnap you," a smiling Rousseau said to Ben as she brought him to her and Alex's home for dinner (a meal that we were left feeling would be the first of many, many more).

* The Sawyer/Jack scene where Sawyer indicated he felt responsible for Sun's, Jin's, and Sayid's deaths--and Jack was the bigger man and didn't blame Sawyer but instead blamed FLocke. (Back in season 1, those two would have blamed each other for anything and everything. Not so anymore.)

* Any scene with Desmond in it. Not only do I find Sideways Desmond to be a seriously awesome character, I love how he's the one bringing everyone together. Remember that fusion concert mentioned in "Happily Ever After"? It's so obvious that there's going to be a massive gathering of Losties at that concert (due to Desmond bringing everyone together)...and I'm predicting a huuuuuuuuge "OMGWTF we all know one another" moment (or would that be a "you all everybody" moment...?). Like some gigantic memory-meld thing. Which will affect the Island World...somehow...right? I don't know how, but I'm betting that it will.

* Mirror images. Widmore invading Ben's house this time--a reversal of Ben sneaking into Widmore's bedroom at the end of season 4. Jack stitching up Kate's shoulder this time--instead of Kate stitching up Jack like in the very first episode. Sawyer and Kate talking through jail cell bars that reminded us of when Sawyer and Kate talked to one another through cages when they were captured by the Others. We're seeing a lot of the same patterns with slightly different twists. We're seeing a lot of cycles--not exact replicas of events or conversations that have happened before, but the nuances of such events/conversations are being evoked. While watching the show, it's almost like we, the viewers, are experiencing exactly what the Losties are feeling: we sense something familiar, an odd sensation of deja vu, but can't exactly place our fingers on it (although we might if, say, Desmond showed up and punched us in the head a few times, trying to make us "let go").

* On-Island Kate. Everyone hates Kate--well, everyone but me. And everyone usually hates her for seeming flaky and indecisive (I disagree with these assessments, but I realize that's what most people seem to view her as being). Tonight I didn't feel that was the case at all. She was appropriately broken up about the other Losties' deaths--particularly about Sun and Jin. For those who claim that Kate is selfish, I felt like she wasn't at all selfish tonight as she made it clear she wanted answers from Jacob as to why these people had to die. I also like that she was still considered a candidate, and that Jacob had only stopped considering her one because she had become a mother. Is this perhaps related to why babies can't be born on the Island? Because he doesn't want mothers to be candidates due to his own mother (and fake-mother) issues...?

* Jacob's campfire conversation. We finally got some answers! We learned that these particular people were brought to the Island because they were flawed--"I chose you because you were like me...all alone...looking for something you couldn't find out there." Love it. I was completely satisfied with this explanation. I also liked that Jacob presented these four--Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer--with a choice...something that Jacob himself never had. I liked that Jacob took responsibility for creating Smokey. I liked that we got a lot of direction here: Someone needs to protect the Island, and someone(s) need(s) to destroy Smokey. I'm sure this action will be a significant part of the finale.

* The return of badass Ben. Ben seems to recognize that it was often the monster, not Jacob, whom he was dealing with ("[the closet] is where I was told I could summon the monster...before i realized it was the one summoning me"). And now Ben has once again helped out the monster--by bringing FLocke to Widmore, by killing Widmore ("He doesn't get to save his daughter")--although not before Widmore gave FLocke some important info, and by appearing as if he aligned himself with FLocke ("Did you say there were some other people to kill?"). I don't believe that Ben has truly sided with FLocke, though. I believe that Ben's pulling a long con of his own. I believe Ben's going to somehow end up sacrificing himself for the good of the Island--I've always felt that Ben was the Severus Snape of this bunch, and I'm still hanging on to that theory.

* As badass as FLocke was on the Island, in Sideways World we see Locke returning to his Man Of Faith attitude, explaining things to Jack, suggesting that all of this is happening for a reason. Jack, still the Man Of Science in Sidewaysland, doesn't believe him. I wonder if an upcoming concert will sway his opinion on that...

* The demise of Zoe. She was obnoxious. Good riddance. But the death of Widmore still leaves some questions unanswered, namely: Was he a good guy or a bad guy? Or both? Widmore claimed he was back on the Island at Jacob's request. Do you believe him? I'm not certain. remember, Lost is full of unreliable narrators, and I'm of the "Pictures or it didn't happen!!!" mentality on this show. I don't always believe what the characters say, although I do believe what we, the viewers, are shown. We didn't see this scene, so I'm not entirely willing to believe that it happened...

* Speaking of "Pictures or it didn't happen!!!": Richard Alpert. Ben looked like he saw something horrible when Smokey, you know, did his thing. But we don't know what that thing was, and 'm hesitant to believe that that's the way they'd end Richard. My prediction--he'll be back. I'm not certain he's dead...and if he is dead, I'm betting we see him in ghost form or hear him as a Whisper...and that he'll help our Losties try to defeat FLocke.

* We have known all along that Desmond is "special," but now we also know that he is a "failsafe." FLocke wants to exploit this--he wants Desmond to destroy the Island. (Hmmm, can Desmond do something to sink the Island like we saw in LAX?) But Desmond seems to have only good intentions from what I can tell. I love his enlightened/all-knowing attitude and his cute little smiles when he's doing something to help the Sideways Losties stay on the right path.

* The Ana Lucia cameo. Nice to see her back and involved in Desmond's grand plan.

Of course, we still have questions. Last we saw Claire on-Island, she was with FLocke. We didn't see her on-Island in this episode...where was she? Who else is thinking Lapidus is gonna pop out at some crucial moment? Guyliner: dead or not? Where did Miles scamper off to? How are the Losties going to destroy FLocke? Will we see characters like Rose/Bernard, Penny, Vincent, and Walt again? Will we find out the importance/significance of the children (Ji Yeon, Aaron, Charlie, Clementine, David)? Will Island World and Sidewaysville collide? Merge together? One will explode and one will keep movin' on? Can Jack protect the light at the heart of the Island? What the hell is Ben up to? What's the deal with all the Egyptian stuff? Are they gonna be using that Ajira plane again? Who lives, who dies--and in what worlds/timelines do they live/die? Is there going to be a happily ever after for anyone?

At least this time, we only have 4 more nights to wait until we have some answers.

What did you think of "What They Died For"? Did you find it satisfying? What questions do you still want to have answers before this crazy show is wrapped up for good? What do you ultimately think will happen to the Island and our castaways? Let's talk about all things Lost-related in the comments!

Also, a couple fun links for you to enjoy:

* This is the funniest Craigslist ad ever. Oh, Jacob, who knew you could use a computer...?

* I find this to be SO true for the most part (although personally I don't agree with #4 and you'll never catch me watching "The Bachelorette" a la point #1...True Blood FTW!).

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY for May 18, 2010

Tonight is the last Tuesday night I'm ever gonna watch Lost and write a recap. (I'll be recapping the finale, of course, but that's on Sunday night--and for me it's wedged in between going to a Phillies/Red Sox game Sunday daytime and then meeting Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels on Monday. Who's gonna be the most hyperactive girl EVER on Sunday and Monday? Yeah, that'd be me.)

But anyway, I'm starting to get all sad about the end of Lost. Well, sort of--I'm glad they're not doing something awful like dragging it out for a million years, making it jump sharks and Taweret statues and glowy caves, oh my! The story needs to end, we need (some, but not all) answers, and I need to get some freakin' sleep on Tuesday nights.

But I digress. In honor of the last Lost episode on a Tuesday, here's a Lost homonym error from fellow Lostie MAGGIE. Apparently some silly writer interviewed Daniel Dae Kim (Jin) and left a homonym error in the article. Too bad we can't send Smokey (or Other Mother/FMom, or Keamy, or Mikhail...) after 'em. That would cut down on grammar/spelling errors, right? People might actually proofread their shit because they don't want to incur the wrath of the smoke monster.

Enjoy the last Lost episode before the finale...I'll have the recap posted at 9 AM EST tomorrow. :)

MISSPELLING MONDAY for May 17, 2010

WINONA says: I found this one this past weekend while staying at a Courtyard by Marriott in Bloomington, IL. It reminded me of a silly sign I saw many years ago on a friend's pool: "Welcome to our OOL - notice there is no 'P' in it - please keep it that way."

The good news? Winona has a clever and grammatically savvy friend. The bad news? Certain Marriotts are not so savvy.

Thanks, WINONA, for spotting this one!

Sex and the Titty 2

This isn't bad grammar--it's just...well, bad. For the last few weeks I've been reading loads of articles about the poor chicks from Sex and the City having botched Photoshop jobs. But this is a case where perhaps someone should have Photoshopped at least one of these ladies. Prim and proper, my ass--Charlotte has some serious nipple action going on there!

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Across The Sea"

Dear Lost writers/producers/anybody else associated with this episode:

Make me care.

No, seriously, make me care. Make me give a damn about these characters--Jacob, MIB, their mom, their FMom, and their plight/story. Because right now I really don't care. My give-a-damn's as broken as the bottle of wine we saw MIB smash a couple of episodes back.

You know who I care about? The characters we've grown to know and love for six seasons now. Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Ben. That's right--I said I actually care about Jack. I don't really like Jack, but I care about Jack. I've been invested in his story for six seasons now. I want to have a clearer understanding of how all this that you spewed at us tonight connects up to Jack and...all the main characters that I like better than him.

I was more than willing to go along with you on a Richard flashback episode. The history, the mythology--I loved it all. It was gutsy and brilliant. Ab Aeterno is, in my opinion, one of the high points of this season. Plus, we've been curious about (and have cared about) Richard's character for a long time now.

And yes, we've been curious about Jacob for a while now. Smokey, too. But here's what I don't want. I don't want this series to be all about them. When I think Lost and I think "Why?"--as in, what is this show's purpose, and why did all of this happen?--I do not want the answer to be "Jacob and MIB." I'm OK with it being about two sides--one light, one dark--and there's a conflict. But I want the "why" to be more focused on the characters we've grown to know and love. Why these people? Why these particular candidates? Why, if Jacob showed up on the Island around 23 AD, as I have read in numerous sources like this one, did it take until 2004 for Jacob to finagle a way for these people to land on his crazy-ass Island? Was there nobody, let alone a whole group of 'em, who would have been a suitable replacement prior to 2004? Why them? Why now?

I want this story to be about something big, something grandiose. I'm fine with the concept of the Island being a special place, of having this special light that needs to be protected and not trespassed on (I'm simplifying the hell out of that explanation, of course--I know it's much more significant than that). I'm fine with our candidates being special and doing special things. I am not fine with this whole mess being created because of Jacob's family drama. We all have family drama, do we not? The world doesn't teeter on the brink of destruction because of it.

You told us who Adam and Eve were. And I do mean you told us. Why the hand-holding all of a sudden? We Losties are savvy, intellectual people. We like to be shown things. We do not necessarily like to have the answers thrown in our faces. And those Jack/Kate/Locke flashbacks? Yeah, you were using them to throw the answers in our faces. (And if you really were hell-bent on making that answer so damn obvious, you could have just eliminated the Jack/Kate/Locke crap and instead had a shirtless Sawyer pop up and say, "Son of a bitch, that's Adam and Eve!" Kidding...sorta.)

You showed us how Smokey was created: By Jacob chucking his brother's body into the stream of water that flowed into the crazy glowing cave with the light. The body eventually came out, and separately, a large plume of smoke came out. The bodiless entity of Smokey was created--who would then go on to take the form of MIB as well as John Locke. (He does not seem to occupy their dead bodies--instead, he seems to replicate their forms, probably why FLocke can be hit with a shitload of bullets and be completely uninjured by this, and can only seem to replicate the likenesses of the dead bodies despite seemingly retaining some of those bodies' original personalities and memories.)

You showed us yet another example of really shitty parenting. FMom murdered Real Mom, took away the kidlets, and didn't even seem to bother giving one of them a name; FMom also played Jacob and MIB against one another, using them to carry out her wishes (one would kill her to make her no longer responsible for protecting the Island; the other would be groomed to take over her responsibilities as protector). Hmmm, a manipulative parent...shades of Christian/Eloise/Widmore/Locke's dad/etc!

You made it known that humans on the Island were curious about what I believe is the electromagnetic energy of the Island. You alluded to those crazy well-type things being created by these people. You also made it known that whatever Jacob and MIB were, they--at least according to FMom--were not people. But we know crazy FMom lies. Those kids were conceived away from the Island, yet she told them the Island was all there was, that there was nothing across the sea, that they were not from across the sea. MIB didn't believe this concept, while Jacob did. And so we discover that this man who, over several seasons, has been held up as a leader...is merely a follower. A follower of words, often of untruths. And we've seen people blindly follow Jacob just as Jacob blindly followed what FMom told him. Like Jacob not questioning FMom, Ben never questioned Jacob until the season 5 finale when he was manipulated by Smokey in the likeness of John Locke. Ben, who had dutifully followed Jacob's orders, never questioning them, had finally gotten fed up. Richard, too, had always dutifully followed Jacob's orders--although, as we saw in Ab Aeterno, he too had his moments of being fed up with blindly following and not getting exactly what he wanted in return for his efforts and devotion.

But I digress. While I liked your gutsy, wild idea of doing an episode like this--an episode rife in mythology, sans series regulars, and loaded with answers--there was more about it that I disliked (or at least questioned) than liked. For instance: You have the actresses speaking Latin, and then, all of a sudden...they know English! Look, I'll buy (sort of) Sun "forgetting" how to speak English and reverting to her native Korean, but I will not buy this. It's 23 AD. Does English even freakin' exist? Again: We Losties aren't dumb. We can read subtitles. You guys have given us subtitles before in the early Sun/Jin-centric episodes and in Ab Aeterno, among other episodes--and we dealt with them. They gave the episodes authenticity. Also: So say the bodies of MIB and his FMom were left by Jacob in the cave around about 40 AD. Do skeletons really stay intact this long...to be discovered in 2004? Do they really last in a hot jungle with wild animals like boars (and polar bears)? I'm calling bullshit on this.

You threw a lot of answers at us, but there were more--and perhaps better--answers we could have been given. Why is it only MIB who is trapped on the Island while Jacob is free to run around tapping candidates on their noses and hands? In order for MIB to be free, why do all the candidates have to die? (In tonight's ep we saw MIB wanting to be free, but it didn't seem like killing Jacob was a requirement for MIB to become un-trapped--so when did it happen that not only would MIB have to find a loophole to get off the Island, he'd also have to make sure Jacob/candidates were destroyed?) Were those humans that MIB hung out with the very first Others? Why does Smokey spare and/or save some people (Ben, Richard) and not others? Why can only MIB see dead people while Jacob cannot? Why was the glowy cave much, much easier for Jacob to find than for MIB to find (who only found it when Jacob took him to it)? We saw MIB creating the Frozen Donkey Wheel, but who finished it up after MIB died--Smokey (is he capable of that?) or someone else (and if so, who)?

You've drilled it into our heads that this season boasts a lot of mirror images. Tonight I saw a lot of Jack in Jacob (being selected to do a job, but not having a choice about it). I saw a lot of Kate (helping another person give birth and then raising that child/ren even though perhaps she was not supposed to--plus, always needing two men to give her what she needs) in FMom. I saw a lot of Locke (seeking out answers) in MIB, and also some Hurley and Ben (the ability to see dead people) in MIB. And Smokey was even a bit of a mirror image of FMom--tonight we heard her utter the "They come, they destroy, they corrupt" stuff that we heard MIB repeat in the season 5 finale.

But I'm still looking for why I should really care about this episode and its main characters. I want to understand how this all ties together. You have one episode and a finale left to make me care. One episode and a finale left to give these candidates' stories the endings they deserve. You have given us nearly six full seasons of truly awesome writing, and I want more of that. I know you are capable of blowing our minds. So go forth and do so--as you've said, it only ends once, and anything before that is just progress. Some backstory like this is necessary, but please give us more and better progress with the characters we've invested six seasons of energy into. Those characters are the reason we're still watching.

xoxo,
The Grammarphile

Why my mom is awesome:

* Because I got my spelling/writing skills from her. (Thanks, Mom!)
* Because she and my dad brought me up on a steady diet of baseball (yay!).
* The combination of those two things made me realize right away that Andre Ethier's name was spelled wrong on MLB's front page. But I digress...
* Because she's a great friend as well as a great mom--whenever I meet a band/baseball player/etc, she's the first one to whom I want to tell the story.
* Because she doesn't make fun of me too much for my silly BILF fixation. Not even when I'm being totally loud, giggly, and obnoxious. (I think back in the day she had one, too--I think I remember her saying she had a crush on Johnny Callison. Right, Mom? Hehe.)
* Because she makes the best home-cooked meals. Lean Cuisines are not meals cooked with the kind of love that Mom bakes into her shell casserole!
* Because she always does little things that remind me that she cares, like asking how Lost was (and then listening to me try to explain it) even though she doesn't watch the show, or remind me to watch Flash Forward because she knows I come thisclose to forgetting it every week.
* Because she's cool with me being an eccentric writer-type. And even though Mom sometimes thinks I'm weird, she loves me for it.
* Because she consistently treats everyone the way she wants to be treated--and ingrained this golden rule in her daughter's head, too.
* Because she's brave enough to attend a Phillies/Twins game with me in a little over a month, fully knowing that she's going to be deaf by the time she gets back home.
* Because she is the best shopping buddy. And tea-drinking buddy. And Boggle-playing buddy.
* Because she didn't sell me to the Gypsies like she threatened to when I was little. (She was very surprised that I actually believed that she would. She was also surprised that I was convinced there were bands of Gypsies wandering around south Jersey, where we lived at the time.)
* Because she reads this blog every day.
* Because when she does read this blog, sometimes she'll catch typos I've made during my half-asleep blog-writing sessions, and she'll e-mail me about it so I can fix it before I look like a jackass to the rest of you. ;)
* Because somehow, even though she didn't always have the best parents, she made it a goal for her to be the best parent--and congratulations, Mom...you've succeeded! :)

To all of you who are mothers and to all of you who have wonderful mothers--happy Mother's Day to you and yours! And a special Happy Mother's Day to Mama Grammarphile, whom I love very, very much, and who truly is the best!

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "The Candidate"

Wow, you guys. Just...wow. I've been sitting here for a while staring at a blank screen, not quite knowing what to write about this episode.

I feel like it's been a while since we've had a death that really, really mattered (in my opinion, the most recent important death was Juliet in the season 5 finale). Tonight...well, we got three. At least three.

I've been less than thrilled at what the writers have done with Sun and Jin this season. I've not been particularly satisfied with their storylines this season...I felt like the writers simply didn't do enough with them (this is especially the case with Sun, I think). But I felt that their deaths were completely and totally done perfectly . For a couple seasons now, we've wanted Sun and Jin to be together. We've watched their grueling journey back to one another. Two weeks ago, we saw their reunion, which seemed all too brief. Was that it? Was that really all we got after how many freakin' seasons of them trying to find one another again?

I felt like, for the first time this season, Sun and Jin's characters were really done justice...in their death scene tonight. I, the anti-cry, had tears in my eyes. i know a number of my friends actually did cry. It was a brilliant, poignant scene where we, and those two characters, finally got what we had all wanted to see for so long: Sun and Jin be together. Despite Jin's assholishness at times and Sun's infidelity, those two personified "'til death do us part." We finally saw Jin make good on his promise from several seasons ago--remember after the raft washed him back to the island, he promised Sun he'd never leave her again? Well, after several seasons, a bunch of flashes through time, another plane crash, and a bunch of other craziness, we finally saw Jin keep that promise. It was heartwrenching like Charlie's death in season 3, like Juliet's death last season--and it is a moment of Lost we'll always remember. If the Lost writers were going for emotional impact--man, they really hit the mark.

I felt that Sayid's death, too, was executed brilliantly. We've been wanting to see Sayid find redemption, and I've gotta believe that he did. First, he told Jack about Desmond's whereabouts. "Locke wants him dead, which means you need him." "Why are you telling me this?" asked Jack. "Because it's going to be you, Jack," said Sayid, as he ran through the submarine with the bomb, sacrificing his own life to save the lives of several people aboard the sub. Sayid died selflessly, helping others. This season we've seen him be concerned with whether or not he was evil, whether or not he could find redemption. In the episode two weeks ago, Sayid's conversation with Desmond seemed to shock Sayid back onto the good side of things. In tonight's episode, he wasn't acting zombiefied...and was instead acting like the brave character we've come to love over the past six seasons. Rest in peace, Sayid.

Once the bomb exploded and water was rushing in the sub, the whole scene had a very Charlie/"Not Penny's boat" vibe to it. We had a character sacrificing himself to save others, and we also had characters who were rather...misled. The "Not Penny's boat" moments go to Jack (for realizing, once in the sub, that FLocke had put that bomb in that backpack) and Sawyer--who, had he listened to Jack, could probably have spared some lives.

Just like Smokey/MIB could not kill Jacob, it seems like another rule of this Island is that Smokey/MIB cannot kill candidates (he told Jack in the beginning of tonight's episode that he could kill them all, but I'm certain he was bluffing). Remember: MIB manipulated Ben into killing Jacob because MIB was not able to do it himself. I strongly suspect the same goes for MIB and the candidates. Therefore, I suspect that--as Jack believed--if they'd been on the sub and just let that bomb do its thing, it would simply not go off (like how that dynamite fizzled but didn't hurt anyone in the Jack/Richard on-Island scene in "Dr. Linus" a few episodes ago). MIB and his weapons couldn't kill those candidates. But once Sawyer--who didn't have Jack's level of faith about this sort of thing--messed with the bomb, then it was no longer just MIB's doing, which meant that this thing could kill candidates...and it did. To Sawyer's credit, of course the suggestion to just leave the bomb alone sounded completely illogical, and I think any one of us would have done the same thing he did--it's not like Jack had time to explain why he was so sure they'd all be OK if they left the bomb alone. But once Sawyer screwed with that bomb, it became his doing and not MIB's, and several candidates died as a result. FLocke anticipated that Sawyer (or someone) would act this way...although I don't think he anticipated that someone would be so selfless as to save at least a few lives of people aboard that sub.

I'm wondering what happened to Lapidus. It certainly seems like he's a goner, but...I dunno. I could be biased here, as I really liked Lapidus, but I'm not 100% certain he's dead. generally I don't believe someone on Lost is dead until I see a body. And it sure looked like he was getting squashed by a big ol' door, but...I'm not sure we know that for sure. It wouldn't surprise me if he showed back up somewhere. But it also wouldn't surprise me--although it would disappoint me--if he were dead. I've always felt like he was an interesting but underdeveloped character--he was the only one of the Freighter Four who didn't get a flashback episode, and was also the only one of them who didn't have some sort of familial ties to the Island. I've always been left wanting to know more about Lapidus--and I still feel that way.

Other stuff:

* So (at least in the sideways world), Locke's a pilot? I dunno, guys, but this screams SIGNIFICANT!!!! to me...

* What's up with that box (with a MIRROR inside!) that Christian Shephard wanted Claire to have? (And was the song it was playing that "Catch a Falling Star" song...?)

* And in other mirror imagery: Jack repairing Locke's dural sac (as opposed to his wife Sarah's, as he had in season 1).

* In the beginning of the episode, Jack told Locke, "You're a candidate." Suuuuure, he acted like it was for some sort of procedure that could make the crippled Locke walk again, but...I'm betting it's about much more than that (even if Jack himself doesn't realize it).

* Loved the scene with Bernard--and also loved the Locke/Anthony Cooper twist. In this timeline, Locke was responsible for his father's injuries--they were in a plane crash, and Locke had been piloting the plane. And Locke loved his father very, very much.

* Also in the sideways timeline--loved Locke's half-conscious Island flashbacks ("Push the button!" "I wish you had believed me...").

* The scene with Claire and Jack and the vending machine--did that remind anyone else of the S5 finale scene where we saw Jack having trouble with the vending machine at work and Jacob showing up, giving him his magic touch, and handing him that candy bar?

* What's up with Claire? She, too, seems less zombiefied...

* And I loved the conversations between Jack and Locke in the sideways timeline toward the end of the show--the conversations about letting go, not punishing yourself about your father issues... I'm hoping that Jack and Locke will eventually save one another...

As we go into next week's episode, which is a Jacob/man In Black-centric episode and will NOT include any of the Losties we've known for the past 6 seasons, we have the following groups:

* Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer are on the beach, mourning their dead friends
* Lapidus is somewhere, but very possibly dead
* FLocke is presumably coming after the candidates who are not dead--and Claire is in tow (By the way, how did FLocke instinctively know that not all those candidates are dead? Is something supposed to automatically HAPPEN to him--that clearly didn't happen--once they're dead, and that's how he knows they aren't all dead?)
* Widmore and an unknown number of his goons are somewhere, presumably by the cages
* Ben, Richard, and Miles are supposed to be off destroying the Ajira plane, but as we saw in tonight's episode, it doesn't seem to be destroyed...so where are those guys, and what are they up to?

And we're not really gonna know what's up with any of those folks until episode 6.16 (whose title may be spoilery, so I won't post it here), which airs the week after the Jacob/MIB episode airs.

What were your thoughts on "The Candidate"? How did you feel about all these deaths? Were you satisfied with how Sun's, Jin's, and Sayid's Island storylines ended? Do you think we'll see them in Sidewaysland? (I bet we will--we already saw Jin pop up in the final Sideways scene with Jack and Locke tonight.) Let's talk Lost...gimme a holler in the Comments section!

MISSPELLING MONDAY--May 3, 2010

Hmmm...if that's really the case, then this sign-maker needs to find a synonym for the word "synonym." Oh, and he also needs to find a dictionary ASAP!

Thanks to LadyStyx for spotting this one!