Guess who's on a baseball high again?

OK, I totally don't have grammar on the brain today. I just found out some major, major, MAJOR Lost spoilers (and no, I'm not telling, so don't worry--I won't spoil it for you), and otherwise, my mind is on baseball. Brad Lidge is back to pitch for the Phillies today in their first 2010 game against those evil Mets...not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing (ask me after the ninth inning, OK?). And Cliff Lee (my FAVORITE pitcher) has his first start for the Mariners tonight. Both those guys have been dealing with injuries 'til now, and I can't wait to see them both start kickin' some ass this season. Yes, I am still rooting for Lee even though he's not a Phillie anymore--I've got him on one team of BILFs (fantasy baseball), and I expect him to get me lots and lots of Ks!

I'm also excited to share some baseball merch-related news with you. The fab folks at fathead.com wanted me to clue you in on some fun promotions happening over at their site...

What's a Fathead, you ask? It's an officially-licensed life-size wall graphic. They attach to your wall, and you can remove them from your wall easily if you wanna switch up the look of your room. So if, for instance, you have ever wanted a life-size Joe Mauer to place on your wall so that you could kiss it goodnight every night before bed, Fathead makes this possible! (But I don't know anyone like that. Nope, not anyone. Really. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die, pet Mauer's butt as I walk by... Uh, wait, that's not how it goes, is it?) They make Fatheads of sports stars, cartoon characters, and more!

Anyway, about the promotions:

* THERE'S A SALE! Sales are awesome. And in this sale, you can get 15% off select Fathead products! Just go here and use code SML15C.

* YOU CAN GET FREE SHIPPING! Saving money on shipping is good. You can use the money you've saved toward buying tickets to go scream at hot baseball players in person. (I'd say I know nothing about this either, but we know that's a lie; half the Bronx is probably still deaf from me screaming at the hotness that is Josh Hamilton two weeks ago during the Yanks/Rangers series.) If you want free shipping, the code is SMLSHP1.

* YOU CAN WIN STUFF! I don't need to tell you how cool winning stuff is. You already know. And if you don't know, then scoot on over to fathead.com/sweepstakes/mlb RIGHT NOW. They've been giving Fathead Jrs away every day in April--today's your last chance to snag one!

And just for telling you, my lovely readers, about these great Fathead promotions, Fathead/Smile.ly is gonna send me a Fathead Jr. for free. How sweet is that? Of COURSE I want the Utley one, 'cause it'll go perfectly with my living room, as seen below... ;)





Have a happy weekend, you crazy kids! :)

A legal conundrum...

So, you guys remember that little incident last week where the Gizmodo folks got a hold of the next iPhone, right?

I'm guessing it's not a coincidence that Gizmodo's Jason Chen has had his computers seized.

I'm wondering, though, if San Mateo has any legal ground to stand on here, considering that their search warrant says:

"THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO ANY PEACE OFFICER IN THE COUNTY OF SAN MATEO: proof by affidavit having been made before me by Detective Matthew Broad, San Mateo County's Sheriff's Office demonstrates that there is probable cause to believe that the property described herein may be found at the locations set forth herein and that it is lawfully sizeable pursuant to Penal Code Section 1524 as indicated below..."

Lawfully sizeable? Do they know that sizeable means large? Or do they perhaps mean lawfully seizable? Hmmm...by stating that the property is sizeable as opposed to seizable, do they actually not have any right to take Chen's stuff? ;)

Let this be a lesson not just to the Keystone Kops, but to all of you...spell-check is not always your friend!

The creation of this headline was not very well-executed.

...and for certain crappy writers, I think "death by bludgeoning with a copy of The Elements of Style" would be quite appropriate. Just sayin'.

Good thing they're not in the spelling business...

Everything must go...including their godawful spelling skills! ;)

Actually, I have a theory on this one. Look closely at the "IS" in the misspelled business. See how the slightly smaller portion of the S is the lower half of the letter? Usually the smaller half of the S is the top half of the letter. I'm thinking that the piece of paper that contains the "IS" is actually placed upside down on the store window, making the word misspelled and the S look weird. If they'd just turn it upside down again...everything would be all good.

Happy Friday, everyone! :)

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "The Last Recruit"

I have a feeling this week's post is going to be much shorter than, say, last week's epic Lost post.

See, I get it that important stuff happened in this episode. When the episode ended, I thought, Yes! Lots happened! Explosions! Confrontations! Machine guns! So much to talk about!

So then I thought to myself, OK, so then what exactly happened?

And you know what? I can't really say. I realize this episode was completely necessary--it did a great job of bringing more of the characters together in the Sideways world, and it did a good job of drawing up sides on the Island. But did it really do anything besides that? No, I don't think so.

Maybe I'm slightly cynical because I seek out the spoilers (don't worry, I'm keeping my mouth shut--I'd never spoil it for you guys!) and I have some pretty solid ideas about what we'll be seeing in the near future, much of which is more exciting than what we saw in "The Last Recruit." To me, this episode was nothing but the convergence of two forks in the road, leading two paths to become one on the way to one destination. But I still feel rather clueless about what that destination is, exactly.

Let's talk about a few of the interesting things that stood out in this episode. We got FLocke telling Jack that yes, that was indeed him masquerading as Christian when 815 first crashed on the Island. FLocke said he did this so he could help lead Jack to water for everyone. Do you believe any of this? I sure as hell don't.

First of all, Lost is full of unreliable narrators. It's a show of liars--and even when people aren't lying, sometimes their perceptions make them see, and then speak, untruths. What proof is there of this smoky entity actually being Christian? Keep in mind that this nemesis appears to be trapped on the Island. If that's the case, how'd he get off-Island to appear to certain characters? (He appeared to Michael on the freighter, and he appeared to Jack in the hospital sometime in season 4 or 5.) Also, let's consider it from a writer's perspective. You, the writer, have dragged out this "what is Christian?" mystery for six seasons now. Are you really going to just throw the answer at your audience like that, with FLocke just nonchalantly being like, "Yep, that was me, I was Christian!" I don't think so. I'm not buying this. And if I'm wrong and FLocke was actually speaking the truth, I'm going to be really disappointed.

On the Christian topic, I'm still wondering where his body is. We know where John Locke's body is. But we don't know where Christian's body is...

Moving on. When Sun was being wheeled into the hospital, she started freaking out when she saw Locke. Why would she do that? Theories, anyone? I wasn't aware she'd seen him off-Island before--am I missing something? (Also, re: Locke at the hospital: I found it interesting that one of the doctors said that the wheelchair--that very thing that embarrassed Locke so much--most likely saved his life.)

I loved the scene with Kate and Sawyer in the police station. LOVED IT. "It's like someone keeps trying to put us together," Sawyer said to Kate. I've said this before, and I'll say it again: those two need to be together. They're two halves of the same whole. They're the only ones who truly understand one another. They're too alike to be apart. That being said, I don't believe they're gonna end up together. I don't think these Lost writers necessarily believe in happy endings. ;)

You guys know I'm always rather lustful about Sawyer, but I've gotta say that Sideways Desmond looked jaw-droppingly gorgeous tonight. Tasteful outfit? Check. Great hair? Check. Hot accent? Check. Goddamn. And I thought Desmond's on-island scene with Sayid was absolutely brilliant. Is anyone else getting a Jacob-like vibe off Desmond these days? In the Sideways world, Desmond's running around trying to make contact with the 815ers, some of whom are the exact people Jacob went out of his way to touch. On-Island, Desmond was engaged in a conversation with sayid that was very Jacob-esque. Much like the conversation Jacob had with Ben right before Ben killed him, Desmond seemed to be telling Sayid, You have a choice. I'm not going to make it for you, and I'm not going to directly talk you into or out of anything, but I'm going to make sure you're aware that you have a choice. This ties in nicely to Jacob and Smokey's main conflict: Smokey believes that everyone is corrupt, and Jacob believes that humankind has the ability to be good and can choose to follow the path of the light instead of turning to the dark side.

And on the topic of Sayid, I think Hurley's Anakin Skywalker lines are pretty significant. Perhaps there is a chance for Sayid to turn away from the dark side. Perhaps Desmond's words had the desired effect on Sayid. I'm betting Sayid didn't kill Desmond. I wonder if FLocke believed Sayid's lies...

The scenes between Jack and Sawyer were intense, as was the scene between Kate and Claire. I think they're all going to regret those conversations for various reasons. Kate doesn't know yet that she really should be pushing the crazy one overboard, and if Sawyer did push Jack right back over to FLocke's side (is Jack himself FLocke's "last recruit"?), he may live to regret that for more reasons than just Kate being annoyed at him.

I hate admitting this, but I'm liking Jack a lot more as the season goes on. All of a sudden, he's a man of faith--literally (he took a leap of faith back into the ocean, headed back to the Island). Although FLocke condemns John Locke for ever having believed that he had a purpose on the Island, Jack now seems to be convinced that they do indeed have a purpose there. "It doesn't feel right, leaving the island... I remember how I felt last time I left. Like a part of me was missing. ...If that thing wants us to leave--maybe it's afraid of what happens if we stay." I found all this rather interesting. Jack's now adopted the Man of Faith viewpoint and is going back to hang out with the guy who looks just like Lost's original Man of Faith...but isn't. So the question is--is Jack on FLocke's side (as Claire said, "You decided the moment you let him talk to you. Whether you like it or not, you're with him now"), or is Jack against FLocke, wanting to do exactly the opposite of what FLocke wants them to do because he doesn't trust FLocke's intentions?

I hate to say it, but Sun and Jin's reunion? Totally crappy. And I'm not just saying that because the annoying Tina Fey lookalike pretty much crashed it. I really think they did not do that scene well. It could have been a really poignant moment...and it wasn't. It was flat. It was not what I think any of us were looking forward to after seeing Sun and Jin search for each other for so long. Ooh, Sun got her English back! Big flippin' deal! Cheesy and boring. Color me entirely unimpressed by that scene.

We don't get a new Lost next week *sniffle*, but I have a feeling the Lost we'll get in two weeks is going to be a doozy. We've got explosions happening all around FLocke and Jack, and we've got Widmore's goons pointing big, scary guns at all our favorite Losties--Hurley, Sun, Jin, Kate, Sawyer, Lapidus, and Crazy Baby Lady with the Whacked-Out Hair. (By the way, can Crazy Claire even go any further toward Widmore's goons with those pylons there...?) We've got danger! We've got suspense! And...hopefully in two weeks we'll have an episode that is slightly better than this one! ;)

What did you guys think of "The Last Recruit"? Shout it out in the Comments section!

Two spelling strikeouts...

On Saturday I went to my first baseball game of the season: Rangers vs. Yankees at Yankee Stadium. On my way to the stadium, I saw this dreadful misspelling on the awning of a store selling Yankees stuff. (No, I didn't buy any--I was there to root for the Rangers. Why? Because they're cute. Duh.)

In terms of spelling quality, that was a strikeout, not a home run. And this...

...well, that's not a home run, either. It's a "hore" run. Either this is an example of Engrish in action, or they're trying to come up with names for a prostitute marathon. (Thanks, LadyStyx, for this one!)

Thankfully, going to the ballpark meant I could look at things that are much prettier than spelling errors...

That's Josh Hamilton. Once I saw him, I forgot all about those nasty little spelling errors... *swoon* Have I ever mentioned how much I love baseball season? :)

Hope nobody's in too PC of a mood today...

I hope you're all in the mood for some off-color humor this morning. If you're not, you may as well click the little red x on the right-hand corner of your screen. ;)

First up, an appalling headline from The New York Post online:


If a brewery is where beer gets made, is a jewery where Jewish people get made? Just wondering...

And apparently Pasta Bible called for "freshly ground black people" in one of their recipes. No, I'm not joking. I think they meant black pepper...at least I hope they did!

Happy Monday, everyone! :)

Thank you, thank you!

Just wanted to say a quick thank you to the following...

* Lindsey Marshall at The Sheridan Sun Online for linking to Red Pen, Inc. in her article "Bad grammar is nothing to LOL about"

* Samantha Miller from University Blogs Online for naming Red Pen, Inc. one of the 50 Best Blogs for Grammar Geeks (and I love that she also mentioned my Lost updates--whee!)

* Molly DiBianca at The Delaware Employment Law Blog for listing Red Pen, Inc. as one of the 75 Best Internet Resources for Better Writing

I love seeing Red Pen, Inc. on lists like these! I'm always grateful for the link love! :)

And now, for your viewing pleasure... Weird Al's Grammar Lesson! (Thanks for sharing this, LadyStyx!)

Have a fabulous weekend, everyone! Tomorrow I'm going to see my first baseball game of the 2010 season. There will be screaming, squealing, and shrieking involved. Those of you in the vicinity of Yankee Stadium...you've been warned. Buy earplugs. ;)

Oh, those Yahoos...

They must have nakedness on the brain over there in Yahooland. Disbared lawyer, huh? Well, why was the lawyer all bare in the first place, hmmm? (Or was the lawyer just disbarred, and the Yahoos managed to screw stuff up again?)

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Everybody Loves Hugo"

In conjunction with the Hurley-centric episode, I thought it would be a nice idea to start off this recap by talking about why I love Hugo--or, more accurately, why I love Jorge Garcia, who plays Hurley on Lost. He was cool enough to take a moment to send me a signed picture, even when all the Lost actors are all busy filming the finale. I've written to two Lost actors--Jorge Garcia and Michael Emerson--and was really amazed and impressed by how awesome they were about answering their fan mail. I have a lot of experience meeting bands and meeting ballplayers, and virtually no experience dealing with actors, so this is just a guess--but I'd say that you'd be hard pressed to find any other actors who are nicer to their fans than some of these Lost folks. Jorge is particularly accessible on the internet--blogging here and doing a podcast here (I recommend checking out both--they're very entertaining!), and it's cool to get a glimpse into the lives of the people who play some of our favorite Lost characters. Jorge and Michael aren't just good actors--they're also good people!

Anyway, so I sort of have a theme going for what I'm going to talk about in regard to "Everybody Loves Hugo," and it is: THEORIES and MIRRORS. (It's more like Theories and Mirror Images, but that just doesn't have as nice a ring to it, now does it?) And I have a lot of each of these for you, so grab some caffeine and settle in. Oh, and put your thinking caps on, because I want to hear about your theories and what mirror images you saw, too! (Then again, when the hell don't we Losties have our thinking caps on? Aren't we all perpetual overthinkers/overanalyzers--at least when it comes to this show?)

We start off the episode by seeing a little presentation--Hurley's being presented with an award. (I hope you all caught the Nunu cameo during the presentation...Nunu is Jorge's oh-so-cute dog!) MIRROR IMAGE! The person talking in front of the projected images of Hurley was...Dr. Chang! (We're used to seeing him actually on the projected screen--as in, the person doing the talking in the Dharma videos--but hey, close enough.)

Then we see Mrs. Reyes giving Hurley crap about dating. We find out that she's set him up on a blind date with the neighbor's so-and-so (daughter, I think?), Rosalita. At the restaurant, Rosalita never shows, but we see a very familiar face...

It's Libby!

She recognizes Hurley instantly and comes over to his table. For a moment he thinks she's Rosalita--but of course she isn't, and she introduces herself to him and begins her "crazy talk," which isn't in the least bit crazy. MIRROR IMAGE! Libby and Hurley mirror each other. Here are two people who have been labeled "crazy" and spent time in institutions, yet they often seem to have the sanest perceptions and say/see the truest things.

Libby asks Hurley, "Do you believe that two people can be connected? Like soulmates?" And then: "You don't remember me, do you?" As Hurley's saying no, Dr. Brooks comes and apologetically sweeps the "crazy" Libby away, but not before she tells Hurley "Everything I said, Hugo--I meant it." And then Hurley sees her head off in the looney bin van.

Meanwhile, back on the Island...MIRROR IMAGE! We've got Ilana chunks, kind of like the Arzt chunks of Season 1. Ilana went and got herself blown up by dynamite. Everyone's clearly rattled, especially Richard. While being rattled, Hurley went and collected the little pouch that Ilana had been carrying around with her. Aren't Jacob's ashes in that pouch?

Back to the Sideways world... Hurley, depressed about meeting Libby and then having her whisked away, is eating to try to fill the void. (And it's a big void--he's got a hell of a lot of chicken there!) And then Desmond shows up, asking if he knows Hurley (and I'm sure Desmond knows damn well he knows Hurley), asking if Hurley was on Oceanic 815. When Hurley says that he was and that he's eating because he's depressed about the situation with Libby, Desmond says, "Did you believe her when she said she knew you? ...Find out where she thinks she knows you from before you give up on her." And then Desmond's order (number 42!) was called, and off he went. THEORY! Desmond realizes his purpose is to somehow transcend the boundaries of both worlds, being some sort of guide to the 815ers to make them realize exactly what, say, Eloise didn't want Desmond himself to realize: that they have these connections with certain people, that these connections can transcend both worlds.

Then we see Desmond on-Island. Sayid's got him tied to a tree, and FLocke goes to talk to Desmond. Desmond tells him, "I have nowhere to run to, brotha." THEORY! Part of Desmond's purpose is to be trapped on the Island--is that perhaps the sacrifice that Widmore mentioned in last week's episode?

FLocke says to Desmond: "Do you know who I am?" Desmond responds: "Of course. John Locke." THEORIES!:

a. Desmond truly believes that this is Locke (as opposed to FLocke) because he recognizes that there's still some of John Locke left over in there...and perhaps, because of this, Locke's character can eventually achieve redemption.

b. Desmond has no idea that Locke is FLocke--and since it looks like John Locke and it talks like John Locke, why the hell wouldn't it be John Locke?

c. Desmond knows he's talking to FLocke (perhaps Widmore told him on the sub--or perhaps this was some information Desmond gleaned during his little enlightenment session last episode). Desmond may be playing dumb about FLocke for...well, some reason. If this is the correct theory, I don't really have the why down yet.

Back in the Sideways world, Hurley, taking Desmond's advice, goes to the mental institute where Libby is, and tries to convince Dr. Brooks to let him see her. Dr. Brooks objects: "She has issues with reality.," saying it's not a good idea for Hurley to see her. After Hurley makes a sizable donation to the institution (see, winning that lottery was good for something!), Hurley's given the green light. We see a quick cameo by Hurley's old friend Dave playing Connect Four in the rec room area, and then Libby comes in. "You remembered?" she says. When Hurley says no, she says, "Then why are you here?" She tells him it won't make sense if she tells him--he says, "Try me." She says it was"...like I was hit over the head" when she first saw him, describing it as "my life, only it was another life. There was a plane crash...I was on an island. We knew each other, liked each other...when I got here it was like I'd been here before, and like you were here, too." Hurley says he was never at the institution before...but of course we saw him there (and Libby, too!) in the non-Sideways world of season 1. Hurley tells her she has a lot of guts to tell him all about how she thinks she's from "some bizarro alternate universe," but then he does something gutsy: he asks her out! And she says yes.

Back on-Island:

FLocke to Desmond: "This island has it in for you."
Desmond: "This island has it in for all of us."
And then they see the weird little kid in the woods--the one we saw several episodes ago (I believe during a scene with FLocke and Sawyer). Only now the kid looks a bit older. THEORY! The kid is Jacob...and, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, has somehow managed to regenerate himself, to...to what? Protect, perhaps? As before, FLocke seems freaked out by the kid and wants to get away from him.

Also on-Island: We see the Losties on the side of the light split up. Richard, Ben, and Miles go off to attempt to destroy the Ajira plane so that FLocke can't use it as a way of getting off the Island, since then "everything would end," according to Richard. Hurley believes that they should go talk to Locke (FLocke), and claims that Jacob told him this (this is a lie--we don't see Jacob telling Hurley anything, although we do see Michael encouraging Hurley to be a leader since "now people are listening to [him]). Jack, Sun, and Lapidus follow Hurley.

Then there's a great scene between Jack and Hurley. Hurley reveals that he lied about Jacob telling him what to do, and Jack says he knows. I loved seeing Jack's character growth as he told Hurley that he felt responsible for Juliet's death and upset that he couldn't fix it. He realizes he can't fix everything, realizes that "maybe I'm supposed to let go," and shows that he's put his trust and faith into Hurley. Although it's Jack's natural instinct to lead, now he's willing to follow; he's willing to "let go" of that leadership role for the sake of the greater good, and although it's hard for him to step back and be told what to do, he seems to believe that Hurley knows what they should be doing. (This is the second time this season I've actually liked Jack's character, and I hope it's not the last.)

Then we hear the whispers, and Hurley leaves the group to go check 'em out, saying he thinks he knows what they are. Michael appears and tells him that the whispers are the voices of those who are stuck on the Island--and he says he's stuck on the Island "because of what I did." Ooookay, here's where I start raising questions. And they are:

a. That statement makes it seem like the Island is a kind of purgatory. Haven't the writers repeatedly said that the Island isn't purgatory?

b. ...or is it only a purgatory-like thing for SOME people? Michael murdered two people on the Island--is that why he's stuck there? Would someone like Libby, who never murdered anyone, also be stuck there? (I'm guessing no, because then Michael could have apologized to her himself--right?)

c. Is everyone who ever died on or because of the Island stuck there? And are there other people stuck there who died but not as a result of anything Island-related (for instance: Christian)?

d. Or is it not just a purgatory-like thing for those connected to the island, but for, like, EVERYONE? (Is Michael sharing space with Mussolini and Ted Bundy on the Island? or is it very much Only Island Folks Allowed?)

I'll be honest, I'm not sure if I'm entirely satisfied with the "whispers are the voices of souls stuck on the Island" explanation. I like it as a concept (I have no issue with the whispers being the voices of "the ones who can't move on"), but if we are told we're not going to have purgatory, and then we're given purgatory anyway...well, it makes me feel kind of duped. Because, like, didn't we all have these purgatory theories back in the earlier seasons? You mean to tell me we've had that answer kinda figured out since then and the producers/writers said we weren't right? Argh.

Back in Sidewaysland, we have... MIRROR IMAGE! It's a first date! On a beach! And this time, Hurley's remembered everything, including six different types of cheeses. Libby feels like it's "like a date we never had." And then they kiss...and, much like what happened when Desmond and Charlie made physical contact with one another, a flood of memories comes rushing back to Hurley. He remembers Libby! The love he felt made him remember! And as that scene ends, we see Desmond driving away from the beach, smiling and looking satisfied, as if he has fulfilled part of his goal...

On-Island, we see FLocke and Desmond at a well. (I don't know about you guys, but up until this point, I'd been convinced that the scene would play out like this: FLocke would take Desmond to where the body of John Locke was buried and then be all like, "If I'm John Locke, then who's that?" But alas, it wasn't so...) As FLocke says, "there are a lot of wells here," so I have no idea if this is the Well of the Frozen Donkey Wheel or not. FLocke tells Desmond that the well was dug by hand by "people looking for answers." MIRROR IMAGE! This reminds me of the John Locke we knew in the earlier seasons--a man always on a quest for answers, a man who thirsted for knowledge, a man who had faith.

"They needed to know why," said FLocke, "so they dug." And then he told Desmond "No, they didn't [find what they were looking for]." And then he noted that nobody else in the world seemed to know where Desmond was, asking him "Aren't you afraid?" At this point, I'm thinking, "Oh, crap, FLocke's gonna push him down the damn well." And this time my prediction came true. Flocke smiled a creepy smile, and down the well went Desmond. (From seeing the preview of next week's episode, we know Desmond's still alive. FLocke may not know that, though, as he told Sayid "We don't have to worry about him anymore.")

Then we got a "Son of a BITCH!" from Sawyer. Oh, Sawyer, you wonderfully well-read redneck, it's been too damn long since we heard that phrase!

At the conclusion of tonight's Island scenes, we see Hurley show up at FLocke's camp. Each side stands around eyeing each other up rather curiously. FLocke smiled and greeted Jack with a creepy "Hello, Jack." FLocke looks entirely too happy to see this bunch--probably because he figures now that they're all together, he can get off that damn Island--since, as he said earlier in the episode, they all came there together and they also all needed to leave together. Now that he has them all in one place, he can begin the process of trying to get them off-Island.

And then back in Sidewaysville, we are left with a very surprising twist. We see Desmond chillin' in his car outside a school--the very same school that Ben and Locke happen to teach at. Ben approached the car, totally acting like Desmond is some kind of child molester. Desmond makes small talk with Ben, claiming that he is looking at this school to perhaps send his son, Charlie, there--but all the while he is keeping an eye on Locke, leaving school grounds in his wheelchair. As soon as he's done his conversation with Ben, Desmond rounds a corner and...mows Locke right the hell down! THEORIES:

a. Much (but not exactly--as this deals with different worlds as opposed to different time periods within the same world) like Sayid attempted to do with Ben in the "past" in season 5, Desmond's trying to kill Locke before he can create more mayhem, figuring that the Sideways and Island worlds are going to bleed totally together soon.

b. Desmond, since he works for Widmore, has orders to mow down Locke, and he complies.

c. Desmond is trying to hurt Locke so that Locke goes to a hospital in LA where a certain wonder surgeon, Jack Shephard, can try to fix him up--and perhaps, as Jack touches Locke during surgery, one or both of them will remember their connection in the Island world.

d. Desmond is trying to kill Locke in Sidewaysville because if he does so, and Locke's body is dead and buried, then MIB/Smokey/Nemesis/whatever-you-want-to-call-him won't have a body crashing on the Island to inhabit...this keeping MIB/Smokey/Nemesis/whatever-you-want-to-call-him trapped on the Island.

POTENTIAL PARTIAL MIRROR IMAGE! If Locke is indeed dead, Ben is once again with him at the time of his death...although this time he's trying to help. Also--remember a few episodes ago, Miles, who can speak to the dead, intuited that Locke's final thoughts were "I don't understand"? Well, that was totally the look I picked up from this Locke's face as Desmond ran him down. Poor, pathetic Locke, a victim of fate, and once again he can't understand why this is happening to him... (Have I mentioned before how I hope Locke--the actual John Locke, not this FLocke goober--finds redemption by the end of this series? I really hope that for him, because this dude's been put through some serious shit, and all he wants is to try to understand, to have answers...)

I freakin' loved this episode. LOVED it. It obviously gave us a lot to think about, which is one of the reasons I love Lost in the first place. Hurley was his usual likable self, the scenes with Hurley and Libby were touching as hell, and the writers moved the story along at what I felt to be a satisfying pace. I'd say I can't wait for more Lost, but do I even need to say that at this point? Nah, didn't think so. ;)

OK, that's all from me. After all, I sorta said "to hell with 815 words!" for this post--right now we've got 2,711 words (and still going and going, like the Energizer Lostie), and I think that's about enough outta me this time. Now I wanna hear your thoughts and theories! Shout 'em out in the Comments section!

Who you gonna call...?

This mistake is one of my pet peeves. Et cetera is not abbreviated ect. It's supposed to be abbreviated like this: etc. You know what "ect"makes me think of? Ectoplasm. Fitting, because I wouldn't mind sending this little guy to slime up the fools who make this sort of error... ;)

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for April 12, 2010

So LadyStyx has found us another funny FAIL. I'm guessing that this news program's slogan really is "Coverage you can count on," but hey, maybe they're just really kinky and pro-facial in Florida...

Thanks, LadyStyx, for spotting this one!

FOODIE FRIDAY for April 9, 2010

Usually when I see people misspelling fiery, they spell it f-e-i-r-y. In my opinion, f-i-e-r-i is quite a creative and off-the-beaten-path misspelling.

But by definition, this misspelling is still wrong...so as creative as it may be, I'm still gonna mock it. ;)

Thanks to SMOOCHIEFROG for taking this picture!

Four actual strikeouts plus one apostrophe strikeout...

I've got baseball on the brain lately. (So what else is new, right?) I actually had to take last night off from watching baseball because I was too sleep-deprived from watching so much baseball earlier in the week. But even when I'm not watching baseball, I'm still thinking about it. I have two fantasy baseball teams this year, and I tend to mildly obsess over them. For instance, I'm really kinda irked at this guy, even though he's so pretty and has some truly lovely tattoos:

That's Josh Hamilton. He's an outfielder for the Texas Rangers. I have him on a fantasy team because he's supposed to be good (also, he's cute, which totally shouldn't matter, except that this is me we're talking about here...so of course it matters). And he's been stinking this season. Seriously stinking. His average so far this season? .000. He has had seven at-bats, and he hasn't gotten a hit in any of them. And then yesterday...

...he got the golden sombrero. What's a golden sombrero, you ask? It's a term for when a baseball player strikes out four times in one game (which is what Hamilton did yesterday). And it's something that should not be apostrophized--because really, what would a golden sombrero be possessing, exactly?

But that error's not nearly as bad as this one. Hey, Giants management, how 'bout you guys spell-check those uniforms before you hand them out to your players? 'Cause this is rather embarrassing...

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Happily Ever After"

In the beginning of the season 5 finale, "The Incident," we saw Jacob weaving a tapestry that many of us believed could represent the strands of fate. And right now, more than halfway through the final season of Lost, we're again witnessing weaving--only now we know it's the weaving of two worlds together.

In little bits and pieces over season 6, we've seen small fragments of Island World bleeding over into Sideways World, flashes of deja vu, moments where characters seemed to have knowledge of their Island lives. This has never been so pronounced until now. "Happily Ever After," while not action-packed, gave us a lot of insight and clarity into the big picture. I can't say that I know what this show means yet, necessarily, but I do feel like they're driving us to realize that, surprisingly, one of the main important themes of this show is...love.

You wouldn't necessarily think Lost is a show about love. We've seen a lot of lost love--loved ones getting killed, loved ones being separated from one another. But the point that the show seems to be making after this episode is that love is somehow the motivating factor for everything that's been happening and is perhaps also the driving force behind whatever still needs to happen.

Charlie showed up in Desmond's Sideways world to get him thinking about whether or not he was happy and to urge him to look for something. In the poignant scene underwater that mirrored Charlie's death scene at the end of season 3, Desmond started being reminded of Penny--whom he had not yet met in the Sideways world. Charlie, who crashed the car into the water because he knew he needed to show Desmond something, understood that Desmond needed to realize that he had to find Penny.

Eventually Desmond ran into Faraday--er, that's Daniel Widmore, actually--who, after telling him about his own experience with love (his love was a redheaded girl with blue eyes...paging Charlotte Staples Lewis!), Faraday revealed that Penny (whose last name was Milton in this world, not Widmore) was his half-sister...and told Desmond how to find her. (On the topic of Faraday and love--it seemed like his mother had a more selfless love toward him. Despite the fact that, in talking to Desmond, she mentioned "It's about time!" with a very knowing look, this time it isn't all about time for her--at least not where it concerns Faraday. here, he plays piano--which is what he'd wanted to do--and he is not a physicist, despite the fact that he is genius-level at some physics-related things. These are things he's seemed to explore on his own, not things he's forced to explore--and abandon his own passions in the process--by his mother. And speaking of his mother, she's definitely a Mrs. Widmore here--not an ex of Charles Widmore, as we've seen in the island world.)

To find her, Desmond went back to a place we've seen before: the stadium where he met Jack on the bleachers in the episode where he first told Jack "See you in another life, brotha!" Only this time, it wasn't Jack who was there (side note: we did see Jack in this episode, though--as a doctor in the hospital where Desmond was being treated and Charlie was running amok through the hallways clad in a hospital gown and checkered sneakers). This time, it was Penny jogging through the bleachers. They appeared to be equally smitten with one another, and they made a date for an hour later.

Before they made that date, though, Desmond "fainted." We saw him back on the Island, where we'd seen him in the beginning of this episode, in an experiment run by Charles Widmore. Widmore was trying to confirm that Desmond could withstand a large amount of electromagnetic energy--the type of energy that other human beings could not survive. Desmond made it through the experiment...only to follow an infected Sayid away from Widmore and his crew. Hmmm...

Also before the Penny/Desmond date happens, we see Desmond asking Minkowski (in this episode, this was the driver Widmore hired to take Desmond around, but where we've seen Minkowski before is in the freigher--hat tip to Anonymous regarding this!--with Desmond) for the manifest for Oceanic 815. Desmond, his two world bleeding almost seamlessly together, seemed to be inspired by whatever happened to him as a result of the experiment Widmore conducted on him. On-Island and in the Sideways world, he knows his purpose is to "show them [the other folks from 815] something."

So what is it, exactly, that Desmond can show them? He seems quite enlightened and seems to have a deep understanding of what this is all about. If I'm right and this is all about love, Desmond seems to understand that love is the driving force behind everything. But since Desmond is special somehow in that he can't seem to be killed by crazy amounts of electromagnetism, it's not like he can get the others to hop into Widmore's little experiment to become similarly enlightened--they'd all end up dead. So what's he gonna show them--and how will he do this? He understands he needs to make a sacrifice, some sort of action that will prevent everything and everyone ceasing to exist. How's he gonna make that sacrifice by tromping off with Sayid into the jungle (after, according to Zoe, "that goddamn thing fried [Desmond's] brain)?

In terms of the mirror image-related stuff we've been talking about for weeks now, I noticed plenty of things along that theme. Charlie always seemed to love Claire deeply--in this episode, he was telling Desmond about the blonde he saw on the plane as he was choking on the bag of heroin he swallowed in the Sideways world. Similarly, Faraday, who always seemed to have a deep love for Charlotte, mentioned the redhead he fell in love with in the Sideways world. Also, Desmond and Minkowski worked together in this episode, like they had before. It may not always be about love, but it absolutely seems like some of these characters are always, always, always meant to be connected somehow, no matter what. And no matter what, McCutcheon's always plentiful. Other parallels: Button-pushing (MRI machine vs. hatch)! Asking Desmond if he has any metal on him!

I also found many, many, many of the characters' conversations significant tonight. It was like every sentence was a loaded one--loaded with insight. For instance:

Charlie, about how he felt when he'd fallen in love with, presumably, Claire: "It was like it had always been--and always will be." And then: "I've seen something real. I've seen the truth." And then later: "None of this matters. All that matters is that we felt it. ...Start looking for Penny."

Mrs. Widmore (Eloise) to Desmond, on looking for Penny: "I want you to stop. Someone has affected the way you see things. You need to stop looking for it..." and "It is a violation." (I want to know more about whose rules this violates, and how it violates them!) This sort of reminded me how Eloise treated Faraday in the non-Sideways world--being rude to Teresa because she affected Faraday's work, his purpose, his studies about physics and time.

Mrs. Widmore also told Desmond that he got "the thing [he] wanted more than anything--[her] husband's approval." I wasn't buying that. Desmond, in the Sideways world, appeared to lead an empty life, devoid of personal relationships. I don't buy that his boss's approval is the thing he wanted most. I think the thing he wanted most is the thing he never knew he wanted and needed: Penny.

Faraday to Desmond: "It was like I already loved her [presumably Charlotte]...and that's when things got weird." Then we got a glimpse of Faraday's notebook, which, as best I could see, said:

real space
imagine time

That looked significant as hell. But--what does it mean?

Faraday to Desmond: "What if this wasn't supposed to be our life? What if we had some other life and, for some reason, we changed things?" And then: "I don't want to set off a nuclear bomb. I think I already did." (Actually, he didn't. But he tried to! As did Jack! And then it was Juliet who finally made that damn Jughead work!) And then: "You feel it...[which mirrored a lot of what Charlie was telling Desmond earlier in the episode]...you felt love."

Faraday to Desmond, regarding Penny: "She's an idea." And then: "She's my half-sister...and I can tell you exactly where and when to find her."

Penny to Desmond: "I must have quite an effect on you. Have we met before?"
Desmond: "If we had, we'd remember it" (or something like that).
But Desmond does remember it, even if he's not entirely clear on that. In the scene underwater with Charlie, he remembers Charlie's hand" NOT PENNY'S BOAT." While getting the MRI, "memories" of Penny flashed through his head, so much so that he had to push that button to make the procedure stop.

I really enjoyed this episode because I feel like it's finally all coming together. I can't see the finished puzzle yet--not by a long shot--but I'm beginning to get a sense of where the pieces go. I thought the Desmond/Charlie, Desmond/Faraday, and Desmond/Penny scenes were all fantastic--and the Desmond/Minkowski scenes made me smile. There's much more of a sense of cohesion now than there was in the beginning of this season, and I'm starting to relax a little more, trusting the writers and producers that they really do know what they're doing with this crazy story, and starting to truly enjoy the ride.

Dear readers, what did you think of "Happily Ever After"? Are any of our favorite characters going to get a happily ever after? What do you think Desmond needs to show everyone? Talk to me in the comments!

When you're using the 50% rule, you're doomed to...well, about a 50% failure rate.

I guess this radio station was going by the 50% rule: If we're not sure how to spell it, we'll spell it two ways, and we've got a 50% chance of being right.

The problem with being 50% right is that you're also 50% wrong. Taylor's last name is Hawkins. I love the look on poor Taylor's face in the picture. It's like he looked down at the misspelling and felt as disgusted as I felt when I saw it. This dude's an amazing drummer and has been in some pretty popular bands (most notably the Foo Fighters), so I'm surprised that radio station webmasters--y'know, people who are relatively knowledgeable about music-related stuff for a living--can't manage to figure out how to spell his name by now! (OK, they did get it right--once. But they got it right in the smaller text, not in the big, bold headline text, so does it really count?)

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for April 5, 2010

Oh, boy. LadyStyx has found us another funny FAIL. I really don't even know what to say about this one. It seems like all I'm capable of doing is shaking my head, wondering if this guy ate too many paint chips as a child.

Thanks, LadyStyx, for finding this one!

FOODIE FRIDAY for April 2, 2010

No, you're not seeing things--yes, that cup really does say lite wipe.

Now for the backstory. WINONA says: I went to my local Starbucks-within-a-Target today for a quick java fix after some shopping. Ordered a grande iced dark cherry mocha, no-fat with light whip. [This] is what the barista wrote on my cup... (by the way, no matter how you spell it, it tasted awesome!)

*shakes head* Whip doesn't equal wipe, folks. But if you're reading this blog, you probably already knew that!

Thanks to WINONA for this picture!