LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "The Package"

As much as I love attempting to sift through and then analyze every minute detail of each episode of Lost (and that's provided that I notice every minute detail of Lost, which is unlikely), I'm going to take a slightly different approach this time around. Time to step back for a moment and check out the forest instead of staring really intently at each individual palm tree and mango tree. ;)

A recurring theme and question in the earlier seasons of Lost was this: What am I supposed to do? Jack often dealt with this sort of crisis when he was trying to figure out how to lead or fix a problem; Locke dealt with this, too, as he looked to the Island or destiny or fate for all the answers. Jack often took an active approach to answering this question, figuring out how he should act or react, while Locke generally analyzed signs and situations and things that happened to him, using these experiences to guide him, all the while feeling like he was on this path to...well, something.

With the Sideways timeline braided throughout season 6 of Lost, we revisit that question, and a logical secondary question: I might be supposed to do things, but who's the one calling the shots here? This has been clear all season long, but it was particularly clear tonight: In whatever timeline happens to be happening, we see some of the same things occurring over and over no matter how different some of the circumstances are. Keamy will always be a mercenary. Mikhail will always have one very fucked-up eye. Sayid will always be a killer. Many of the castaways seem fated to know or run into one another no matter what world they're operating in. Jin and Sun will always be a package deal, albeit one that seems slightly doomed.

The title of tonight's episode is meaningful on many levels. Sun and Jin were dealing with delivering a package to one of Mr. Paik's associates. Sun and Jin, whether married or unmarried, are a package deal. Sun is carrying a little package right inside her womb. There's a package locked inside a room in the sub, although that package is a "who" and not a "what."

At the end of a pretty exciting episode--exciting, anyway, for a Sun/Jin episode, which, except for the season 4 episode where it looked like Jin got blown up on the freighter, have always left me wanting a bit more action--we find out two very important things:

1) In Sidewaysville, Sun is also pregnant, and
2) The Constant has arrived on the Island.

The package that Widmore had locked up in his sub was none other than Desmond Hume, Daniel Faraday's "constant." So we've got multiple timelines, and presumably Desmond will have something to do with setting those timelines straight somehow, right? So what happens if there's something going on in an effort to facilitate course correction, but there's a major discrepancy between personal events in the timelines? I'm specifically referring to Sun here. On-Island, she is healthy (except for that bump on her head) and has previously given birth to her child, Ji Yeon (loved the scene between Widmore and Jin when Widmore showed Jin those pictures--very, very touching!). In the Sideways land, Sun's been badly wounded, and it seems likely that the baby would be affected by these wounds. What would happen if Island Sun is living and Sideways Sun is dying, and these timelines get merged or dealt with in some other way? What's supposed to happen then? Which timeline trumps the other one? And who decides that (or how is it decided)? Or does neither win and each timeline continues on, neither affecting the other? Next week's episode is Desmond-centric, so I'm betting we'll get more insight into this then.

Let's think back to Jacob's words in last week's episode, about how these candidates are on the Island to make the right choices on their own, and also remembering how when FLocke was chasing Sun in tonight's episode he was talking to her about free will. In addition to multiple timelines, there are two paralleling themes going on here: What you're supposed to do (because you choose to do it on your own), and what you're supposed to do (that is dictated by powers that are not your own--powers that, for example, somehow make it so these folks connect with each other no matter what timeline they're in). These are the same sort of dilemmas we saw Jack and Locke pondering for so long before.

So I'll leave you with this question: Which "supposed to do" ultimately rules? Are we predominantly in control of ourselves, or are we overwhelmingly controlled by outside forces? Are these ideas mutually exclusive, or can they coexist? Have the Losties been manipulated this whole time, having been pawns of Jacob/the Island/who-the-hell-knows-what...or have they, and do they, have the ability to ability to change their very natures and their destinies?

What did you think of "The Package"? What do you think will ultimately happen with Sun and Jin? When will Sun start to speak English again? What's Desmond up to? Is Widmore possibly a good guy, not a baddie? Share your thoughts and theories in the Comments section!

*squeal*

If you're finding my site from a link on the What About Michael Emerson site, hello and welcome! If you're a fellow Lost fanatic, you may be interested in checking out my Lost recaps from Season 6 as well as my Lost recaps from last season!



I decided I just had to feature a Lost-related error today (it should say clues, not cues, of course!) just so that it would give me an excuse to get all fangirly about this...



Why yes, that is indeed a picture that Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on Lost, sent me. And I'm totally freakin' giddy about it! By the way, I sent him a letter less than 2 weeks ago, and I want to point out how cool it is that he responded promptly and with a kind personal note. That was a really quick response, especially since they're filming the Lost finale right now and he's gotta be really busy. Michael Emerson was already my favorite actor on Lost, but after finding out how good he is to his fans, I have an even greater appreciation for him! I am sure most actors would never bother to respond to fan mail, and if they did, it would shock me if any of them did it in such a timely fashion. Props to Michael Emerson for being so awesome!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for March 29, 2010

Although the "wonderful" benefits of POM Wonderful seem hard to prove (pun intended, of course), here's something that's pretty simple to verify: The folks at Copyeditors Needed Now have a less-than-wonderful working knowledge of proper apostrophe usage. *sigh* I suppose by now I shouldn't be terribly surprised by this...

Happy Monday...and happy humpin'! ;)

In a baseball state of mind...

I've officially caught baseball fever. Between gearing up for my first fantasy baseball draft of 2010 (tomorrow early afternoon--wish me luck!), spending entirely too much time shrieking/squealing over the pictures Mama Grammarphile sent me from my parents' trip to spring training (Hamels and Utley and Dobbs, oh my!), and counting down to Opening Day, my mind has whipped itself into a baseball-crazed frenzy lately.

One more reason I'm looking forward to Opening Day is that shortly afterward, the Victoria's Secret MLB gear will be able to be purchased online. You may have heard a little bit about this clothing--my take on it is here, although from what I've read on other blogs/websites, I seem to have the opposite viewpoint from everyone else. I actually like the stuff.

That being said, the problem is this: I live in New York. I'm a Phillies and Twins fan. Until after Opening Day, the Phillies and Twins stuff is only being sold in Victoria's Secret stores...in PA and MN, respectively. What's being sold in New York? Mets and Yankees stuff, of course. I don't mind the Yankees (except for whenever they beat my Phillies or Twins), but no matter how cute or sparkly it is, there's no way in hell you'll ever catch me wearing any Mets garb. I'd seriously rather run around naked than wear a Mets shirt. But I digress.

I looked online to see what Victoria's Secret stores they were selling the MLB gear in, hoping that maybe, just maybe, one random NY store would have Phillies stuff in it (hahahaha, wishful thinking!), but sadly, that wasn't the case. While I was there, though, I spotted a fun little misspelling/typo. The Yankees may be the current World Series Champions, but that doesn't mean everyone knows how to spell their name. (For the record, the Phillies and Twins both had their names spelled correctly on that website--yay!)

Ahhh, baseball...once we hit Opening Day, I will be the giddiest, happiest little Grammarphile around...at least until October or so! :)

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Ab Aeterno"

All season long, everyone's wanted one thing from Lost: Answers.

Tonight, we got some. A whole lot of 'em, actually.

Then again, that depends on who you believe. One of the most fascinating things about Lost is its dependency on unreliable narrators to tell the story. "Ab Aeterno" continued in that same vein. (For the record, I'm more apt to believe Jacob than MIB in regards to what they each told Richard, but I'll get to that later on.)

The episode's action started off with Richard telling Jack, Hurley, Sun, Lapidus, Ilana and Ben that they're all in hell, that they're all dead. I know from obsessing over reading lots of Lost articles that, way back when--maybe in Season 2 or so--the producers were adamant that this place was not purgatory. So right away, I thought, "Richard's not telling the truth. He may think he is, but he really isn't." (By the way, I loved Ben in this portion of the episode. Instead of the frightened Ben we've seen in the past few eps, we got snarky, droll Ben back for a little while. Yay!)

Then, as we watched Richard running into the darkened jungle, we got a Richard flashback--not a sideways story, but an honest-to-goodness flashback, starting in 1867. In it, we saw:

* Richard's wife, Isabella, being sick
* Richard trying to convince the doctor to come save her--but he accidentally killed the douchey doctor
* Richard being jailed and told that the priest "cannot grant [him] absolution for murder"
* Because Richard knew English, instead of getting hanged, he got put aboard a ship, the Black Rock, to work for...Magnus Hanso. (So there's that Hanso person we've heard bits and pieces about...or we've at least heard about the Hanso Foundation, in any case)
* Richard was chained to the ship's walls. Waves caused the ship to crash into the statue of Tawaret, breaking the statue and beaching the ship in the middle of the jungle.
* A man (Hanso?) killing the other slaves on board because only 5 officers have survived and "if [he] freed [them], it would only be a matter of time before [they] killed [him]." Then Hanso (or whoever he was) got swallowed up by Smokey.
* Then Isabella appeared to Richard. But she's dead! We know she's dead! My suspicion: It's Smokey in disguise! And we find out why Richard believes he's in hell and they're all dead: It's because "Isabella" told him so.
* And then MIB appears, calling himself "a friend." (Riiiiight. Because if you have to say you're a friend, chances are you may be quite the opposite.) And this "friend" tries to convince Richard to go "kill the devil" so he (Richard) can see his wife again. (What got my ears perked up: MIB to Richard: "You'll do anything I ask?" Made me momentarily wonder if Richard had been working for MIB, not Jacob, all the time.)
* A mirror image: "It's good to see you out of those chains," MIB said to Richard. These were the same words he said to Richard in the present Island timeframe a few episodes ago, only this time he was cloaked in Locke's body. (No wonder Richard looked so freaked out then!)
* Another mirror image: MIB telling Richard to stab "the devil" before the devil even has a chance to speak. Sound familiar? It's what Dogen told Sayid to do to FLocke in "Sundown."
* We see Jacob administering some tough love to Richard, dunking him in the ocean to make Richard realize he didn't want to die (thanks, MIKE S, for pointing out to this little agnostic that that seems an awful lot like baptism!).
* And then--finally!--we begin to get some answers. Or what I believe are answers, anyway. My gut tells me to believe Jacob, not MIB. So if you, like me, believe Jacob, this is what you learn: Jacob brought the Black Rock to the Island. You can think of the Island's situation like a bottle of wine: here it--the darkness--is, swirling around in the bottle, unable to get out. If it got out, it would spread its darkness everywhere. The cork in the top of the bottle is the Island. That's what keeps the darkness from spreading. While MIB believes that all people are sinners, Jacob brings people to the Island to prove him wrong, to show him that people can change, be good, be moral. He will not force them to be moral; it's something they have to do on their own, to help themselves, to prove they can change--otherwise it's meaningless. If Richard would like to have a job being Jacob's intermediary, Richard can have it, and Jacob will give him something in exchange. Jacob cannot give him his wife back, nor can he grant him absolution of his sins. Because--I'm assuming--Richard knows he can't be absolved of his sins and wants to avoid going to hell, he asks to live forever. Wish granted.
* Later, we see Richard give MIB the white rock (from Jacob) that we saw several episodes before when we saw Flocke in the cave. At that time, the rock was on one side of a scale; the other side of that scale had a dark rock on it. MIB gives Richard the cross necklace that had once belonged to Isabella. Then Richard buries that cross (and we know nothing ever stays buried on the Island!).

* The flashback ends, and we see Richard wandering around in the light/daytime. He goes to unearth that cross. Holding it, he yells, "I've changed my mind! You said the offer would still stand! Does the offer still stand?" My interpretation: He was calling out to MIB; he missed his wife and wanted to see her again. And then Hurley shows up. "Your wife sent me. She wants to know why you buried her cross," he said. He told Richard that Isabella was standing right next to him; we saw that she was, although Richard did not. "Sometimes it takes people a while [to believe]," Hurley said. And then: "She wants you to close your eyes. I'll tell you what she says." Isabella says that it wasn't Richard's fault he couldn't save her--that it was her time. And then "My love--we are already together."
* Once Isabella disappeared, Hurley said, "She kinda said one more thing. Something you have to do. You have to stop the man in black from leaving the Island. If you don't, we all go to hell."
* Which begs the question(s):
--By "changing his mind," has Richard crossed over to the dark side?
--Was that really Isabella, or was that a MIB-made Isabella?
--If the former, then what does that mean, exactly?
--If the latter, then does that mean that all along, every dead person Hurley has seen/talked to has been a manifestation of MIB (even off-Island)? Also: if this Isabella was MIB-made, why did it then tell Richard to keep MIB from leaving the Island?
* Before the scene ends, we see FLocke looking rather...intense. What do you suppose he was thinking about?

We get one more flashback before the episode ends. It's an MIB/Jacob flashback. MIB tells Jacob he wants to leave the Island. Jacob tells MIB that as long as he himself is alive, MIB's not going anywhere. MIB mentions this is why he wants to kill Jacob, and Jacob tells him he'll find someone to take his (Jacob's) place if that happens (the candidates, obviously). Then Jacob hands MIB that bottle of wine: "Here's something for you to pass the time." And after Jacob leaves, MIB cracks that sucker open...letting all the darkness out, giving us a very Pandora's Box type of vibe (thanks for that one, DAVE S!).

So tonight we got some answers. Lots of answers (unless Jacob's a big ol' liar!). We got a lot of symbolism that hints at religious stuff (none of which I can talk about in too much detail because I have zero religious knowledge--so if you can fill me in, by all means do so!). We got a few speeches that were mirror images of things we've heard before. We got some very interesting backstory. We know why the candidates are on the Island, who brought them there, and that the Island sort of seems like the portal to hell--or the thing that keeps hellishness from spilling out into the rest of the world. We got a much better understanding of the Island's most mysterious character. I think this was a terrific episode, and just what we rabid fans needed. We've had a bunch of questions and not a whole lot of answers thrown at us lately, and an episode like this one quenched a bit of our thirst for information and allows us to settle back in for the rest of the ride. And I have a feeling it's gonna be a hell of a ride.

What other things did you notice about this episode? What parts of it did you love, love, love? Do any of you believe the MIB isn't such a baddie after all and that Jacob's really the bad guy? Whose side is Richard on now, anyway? Talk to me in the Comments section!

A not-so-clever mistake...

Tapping into your inner writer is good. But in this case, tapping into your inner proofreader is even better. When you're dealing with cleaver instead of clever...one's a noun, and one's an adjective. I'm not sure if this is merely a typo or if it's some sort of weird homophone-ish error (Lush is a British company--do they pronounce "clever" and "cleaver" the same way on the other side of the pond? If so, I can see how they made this mistake...). But either way, it's not very clever at all. ;)

Hump Day...Monday?!?

Yes, you read that right: Hump Day Monday. I know--Hump Day is traditionally Wednesday. But since my Wednesdays are presently spent freaking out about the previous night's episode of Lost, I've decided that perhaps Hump Day Grammar should shift to a different day for the time being. And Monday is a good day for a little bit of racy humor since, well, it's Monday, and Mondays always kinda suck. So let's make our Mondays a little bit funnier, shall we?

Today for your Hump Day viewing pleasure...one of the funniest typos I've seen in a long time. Thanks to ROBIN for spotting this one. The original picture can be found here.

Happy Monday, you wild and crazy kids. Get your work on, get your headache on (if you're me, anyway...ugh!), and, of course, get your hardon! ;)

If you sell it, PLEASE learn how to spell it!

I don't know which is the most appalling thing going on here:

* The horrendous misspellings of the word jewelry (if you sell it, shouldn't you also know how to spell it?);

* "Animal earrings"--Are those earrings with animals on them or earrings for your animals?;

* And "Golden Huggies," which just sounds kinda gross. (Or maybe it just sounds gross to me because my mind's perpetually in the gutter.)

On the topic of jewelry, if you're looking for a good gift for someone special (Mother's Day is coming up sooner than you think...), I'd like to recommend you check out LuShae Jewelry.* Their website is MUCH better at spelling than the website I'm mocking in this blog post. ;) This online store features fun, unique, and modern designs for extremely reasonable prices. Sure, they sell cubic zirconia instead of diamonds--but they're super-pretty and aren't gonna break the bank! As Sarah from LuShae says, "We want to focus on contemporary trends and artistic style over expensive materials but won't compromise on workmanship. To us jewelry isn't precious because it costs a fortune, it's precious because of the unique style and memories of special times it brings." Right on!

I was sent this pretty ring in exchange for my review of their store, and I'm pleased with it. It's a wee bit big on me, but I have tiny fingers (I'm a size 6), but if I wear it primarily when it's nice and warm out (fingers are a little bigger then), it's not going to be sliding around much. I love the stone (tanzanite)--it's absolutely gorgeous! I tend to go for either very old-fashioned/vintage-looking jewelry or jewelry that's very princess-y, so I may be going back to LuShae soon to buy this, this, or this. They also sell gorgeous earrings (I love the dangly ones), which unfortunately I can't wear because I have an allergy to metal actually going through my skin. But if I could wear 'em, I'd buy these in a heartbeat!

I was also pleased with the speedy delivery of my ring. LuShae Jewelry is based in Australia but ships internationally, and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly my ring arrived! Props to LuShae Jewelry for their great jewelry designs, speedy shipping, and overall kickass-ness.

* Full disclosure: In exchange for a pretty piece of jewelry, I agreed to review LuShae Jewelry on this blog. The review is 100% honest and has in no way been influenced by my pretty, sparkly new ring.

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Recon"

Welcome, dear readers, to LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words. This is a variation on last season's series of Lost posts on Red Pen, Inc.--the main difference being that these posts are less rambly. However, I'm still counting on the rest of you to talk to me in the comments about your thoughts/theories about last night's season premiere--so ramble on, you guys, OK? ;)

Tonight was the Sawyer episode, and I'm glad to see that the Lost writers realized one very big, very important thing:

WE WANTED SHIRTLESS SAWYER!!! (Right, ladies?)

And they gave us shirtless Sawyer within the first few minutes of the episode...along with going-on-a-hot-date Sawyer, who looked equally delectable.

But aside from all that? I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this episode. It was important--yes, definitely important. I feel like this episode's given us some insight into the plot of the next few episodes (with the possible exception of next week's episode--that's a Richard episode, and I'm hearing there will be more important stuff going on in the flashback than in present time). But I went into this episode with great expectations. Sawyer's an exciting character. So why couldn't I find this episode more exciting?

I think it's because I feel like a lot is going to happen, but that not a lot actually happened in this episode on the island. Let's see: Claire attacked Kate (that, actually, is interesting--and I'll touch on that again momentarily). FLocke sent Sawyer out to Hydra Island to see if there were any survivors from the Ajira flight, except that wasn't really why he wanted Sawyer to go there, and I'm still not quite clear on exactly why he wanted Sawyer to go there (do any of you guys know?). sawyer went there, got conned by some chick named Zoe, and got brought about Widmore's submarine. He then told Widmore that he'd bring him FLocke in exchange for his own, and his friends' safe passage off the island. Sawyer then went back to FLocke and told him basically what he'd told Widmore--except that he told FLocke that that was a lie. And then Sawyer told Kate what was going on, that he was gonna let the two sides (FLocke and Widmore) fight it out, and that he was going to get himself and Kate off the island.

Now, personally I'd be kinda happy if Sawyer and Kate did get off the island--I am very much Team Skate and really do believe those two are meant to be together. They're too much alike--even now, they're the two characters that I'm not quite sure which side they're on. I'm half-convinced they're on their own side: two good but troubled people dancing at the edge of darkness but to a beat that's all their own.

But I doubt they're gonna end up together. That's too much of a happy ending, and I'm pretty sure we're not going to get one of those when it comes to Sawyer and Kate. As a writer, if I were writing Lost, I'd permanently split those two up in some sort of spectacular fashion so as to have the maximum impact on viewers like me who feel so strongly that those two are yin and yang.

Anyway. Off-island, in the sideways world, Sawyer's a cop. He's using his con-man abilities to be a very, very good cop. Miles is his partner, he has a little run-in with Charlie's brother Liam, and he goes on an ill-fated date with Charlotte. He's still got his demons--he's on the hunt for Anthony Cooper, the original Sawyer, whom he wants to kill. As he's telling Miles about this, somebody's car slams into the car that Sawyer and Miles are chatting in. Sawyer gives chase and finds that the perp is...Kate! The look he gave her when he saw her face was priceless; it almost looked like he recognized her. Perhaps from their brief encounter at the airport, or perhaps because somewhere in his consciousness, he knows that he already knows her somehow...?

Some things I noticed:

* Going back to the Kate/Claire thing: Did anyone else notice that prior to attacking her, Claire grabbed Kate's hand? And then later after attacking Kate, when Claire apologized and hugged Kate, they seemed to pay special attention to the hands?

* Also on the hand topic: When Kate was upset and FLocke was talking to her, he offered her his hand as she was going to get up from where she was sitting. Kate got up on her own and didn't take his hand. Is something going on where characters who are infected are trying to somehow spread the infection by a touch of their hand? If Jacob could make people special candidates by touching them with his hand, isn't it reasonable to wonder what Smokey might be able to do to them with a touch of his hand?

* Sayid looked and acted like a shell of himself. We only saw him briefly, and we saw nothing of the brave Sayid we're used to seeing. He just sat there while Claire attacked Kate. Not sure if that's because he didn't want to help Kate (those dark side people probably like stickin' together on stuff like this) or because he simply didn't have it in him to do so. Perhaps there's not enough soul/humanity left in Sayid to implore him to help a friend in need.

* We've been dealing with a mirror theme this whole season. On a larger level, events in each world mirror each other (like the scene in the beginning of this episode where that chick was trying to con Sawyer, who, in his cop sort of way, was conning her...that mirrored a Sawyer/Cassidy scene from seasons past, but it was more of a funhouse-style mirror image, as the two scenarios were not quite the same), and on a smaller level, with mirrors showing up prominently in the sideways world. Tonight we saw sawyer stare himself down in the mirror and then punch it, shattering the glass, after he and Miles had an argument.

* Looked like two of the books in Sawyer's room were Watership Down and Lancelot. Any deep insights...?

* FLocke touched on some mommy issues. Now, we know Locke has some mommy issues, but I absolutely got the sense that FLocke was talking about his own (not Locke's) mommy issues. I felt like they were touching on something significant and meaningful here but that we only got a taste of it this time around.

I also thought there were a lot of significant quotes tonight--things that sent a spidey sense sort of tingle down my spine. And they are:

"Do you want to die alone?" (Miles to Sawyer)

FLocke: "Have you ever had an enemy? Someone that you needed to hate?..."
Kate: "Very insightful, coming from a dead man."
FLocke: "Well, nobody's perfect."

And on the TV show (Little House on the Prairie, perhaps? I'm not sure...) that Sawyer was watching: "And people aren't really gone when they die. All the good memories sustain us 'til we see them again."

Now it's your turn. Thoughts on "Re-Con"? Who else thought Charlotte looked absolutely gorgeous tonight? Is Sawyer conning both Widmore and FLocke? Do you think he's going to succeed? Shout it out in the Comments section!

Apostrophe catastrophes are not BILFtastic at all.

So today my parents are in Clearwater, Florida, watching Cole Hamels pitch his BILFtastic ass off against the Tigers. (Right now the score is 6-1 in favor of the Fightin' Phils--yay!) I'm totally jealous of my folks and hope that they're not only having a fabulous time, but that they're also getting some great pictures (nudge nudge, wink wink, Mama Grammarphile!).


While my parents are in Florida watching a baseball game, I'm stuck here at work bitching about how it really annoys me when idiots make punctuation errors in the vicinity of King Cole's name. Cole does not possess "to work on curve ball"; therefore, that apostrophe is completely unnecessary.


Thanks to KIRSTEN for spotting this error! In the meantime, to make myself forget about the egregiousness of that apostrophe error, I'm gonna stare at this...which will hopefully make it all better...

*sigh* Dreamy!

MISSPELLING MONDAY--March 15, 2010

Today's a good day for me to remind you that good spelling is always, always, in fashion! Clearly not everyone is aware of this, though...

I realize that this is the month of March, but Mr. Jacobs spells his name M-A-R-C. *sigh* How dare someone screw up the name of my gay celebrity crush!

And this one's a double-whammy... They missed an apostrophe and they missed a letter in Gloria's last name. The force is strong with this one...the misspelling force, that is...

Thanks to JOHN Z. for this picture!

You don't know the power of the dark side...of misspellings! ;)

FOODIE FRIDAY for March 12, 2010

It's Friday, I'm being lazy, forgot to create a post for today...and then I remembered that I had a good Foodie Friday picture hanging out in my cell phone! Yay!

The folks who work at the deli in my local grocery store must think I'm really bizarre. Every time I'm there to pick up cold cuts, I'm on the hunt for misspellings, using my cell phone camera to surreptitiously snap pictures of screwy signs. The sad part is that every time I'm there, I end up finding a new spelling screw-up!

Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy the weekend, rainy though it may be...

In like a lion, out like a typo...

I'm not entirely sure what March could possibly "fill" wintry or springy with, as these are two adjectives which, by definition, cannot actually be filled. But as long as March isn't filling anything with snow, I'll be a happy girl...

Thanks to STEVE R. for catching this one!

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Dr. Linus"

Welcome, dear readers, to LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words. This is a variation on last season's series of Lost posts on Red Pen, Inc.--the main difference being that these posts are less rambly. However, I'm still counting on the rest of you to talk to me in the comments about your thoughts/theories about last night's season premiere--so ramble on, you guys, OK? ;)

Yes, I know, I haven't written for a couple days. No, I have not jumped on the back of Muse's tour bus and decided to be their own personal Miss Penny Lane for the duration of their US tour (tempting though that thought may be). A couple hours after the Muse show--which, by the way, was fabulous--I came down with what must have been, no joke, the plague. I was wiped the hell out--and in fact, I am still recovering, and I feel more drowsy than usual. But never fear--I'm feeling well enough to be here with a Lost post!

Let me preface this by saying that in last night's episode, Michael Emerson was freakin' BRILLIANT. This man deserves an award--preferably many awards. I've always felt that Ben's character was one of the richest characters on the show, and this episode proves my point. Here's a character who we've seen commit a ton of evil deeds (killing, lying, manipulating, and capturing, among others), and tonight he made us root for him. We wanted to see Ben Linus be a good man, do the right thing, and have a shot at redemption. Remember, this guy killed John Locke. He killed Jacob. He didn't save his own daughter from being killed by Keamy. These aren't good actions. And yet as monstrous as we've seen Ben be, we've also known there's something in him that's worth redeeming--and we were rooting for that part of him. We remember that geeky-looking kid from the episodes that took place in 1977. We remember seeing his father repeatedly berate him. We remember him wanting to belong, to be kind to an imprisoned Sayid. We remember Sayid shooting young Ben in hopes of preventing Ben from turning into the monster that we've seen him be--which, seeing as how Ben was "saved" in the Temple, actually may have been a major contributor to why Ben got that monster streak in him in the first place. It's safe to say Ben didn't have the most pleasant childhood or the most pleasant life--in Sideways World or Island World.

In Ben's Sideways story, he got to have something that Island Ben missed; Alex. Only this time Alex wasn't his daughter--she was his student, and he was Dr. Linus. They seemed way more affectionate toward each other as teacher and student as they ever did as father and daughter. It was clear from the somewhat wistful way Ben looked at her that he cared about her well-being. This was a far cry from the man who stood in his house on the Island, having every opportunity to surrender to Keamy, thus saving Alex's life--and refusing to do so. This Ben also took care of his father at home, palled around with science teacher Arzt at school, and was given a dose of faith and support from none other than the "substitute," John Locke. Ben may not have had the happiest Sideways life, but the people around him clearly cared about, looked up to, and believed in him. And perhaps that made all the difference. Given the opportunity to choose between (rather cleverly and underhandedly) furthering his career and helping Alex get a much-needed recommendation for college, he chose to help her instead of chasing his own desires to be the leader. He sacrificed the opportunity to have a new position to do the right thing for someone he cared about, someone to whom his help and support mattered. That's a drastic difference from Island Ben, who, until tonight, would throw pretty much anybody under the bus if it was personally advantageous for him to do so.

Ben's Sideways story mirrored his Island story tonight. he found himself in quite the bind (literally--at the ankle) once Miles spilled the beans that it was in fact Ben who'd killed Jacob. Ben's attempts to lie his way out of it were futile, and he found himself digging his own grave. That was the point where I felt sorry for Ben--really, really sorry for him. Yes, he'd killed Jacob, but he'd been manipulated into doing so. He'd been manipulated by Jacob--by dedicating the bulk of his life to serving Jacob and trying to protect the Island, all seemingly for naught--as well as Flocke, who capitalized on these feelings and used them to convince Ben to kill Jacob. Ben, the master manipulator, had become a victim of manipulations himself. I had to wonder what he was thinking about as he slowly dug his own grave. And I had to admit, once Flocke showed up and released that ankle restraint, I thought Ben was gonna hightail it to the dark side. But no--after one of the most moving conversations I've ever seen on Lost (that almost brought me to tears, and I'm the Anti-Cry), Ben joined forces with Ilana. Ben, who admitted he would join Flocke because Flocke was the only one who would have him, changed his mind and joined up with Ilana once she, in the spirit of forgiveness, said she, too, would have him. Who woulda thunk it--Ben Linus on the light side? Seems that way. And I'm damn glad he is.

A paragraph or two ago I mentioned the word "sacrifice." Since season 4 or so, I've always had a theory about Ben: He's going to be the Severus Snape of the bunch. He's going to be the one the writers portray as "bad," the one whose intentions you're never quite sure of, but who, in the end, comes through, redeems himself, and sacrifices himself in some way for the greater good. I called it with Snape as I was reading the Harry Potter books, and I'm calling it with Ben. Ben may have done some bad things, yes, but he is not a baddie. (I suspect the baddie--or one of them, at least--was the one rollin' up in the submarine at the end of the episode.) Like Snape, Ben felt like an outcast--he wanted to belong, to be respected and to be known for doing good things (even if some of the things he'd done were bad or at least were portrayed as being bad). My prediction? Ben's gonna die, but probably not 'til the end, and probably for some sort of meaningful cause; his death will be a selfless act to save someone else, and through his selflessness, he'll find redemption. (And if his story ends any other way, I will probably be greatly disappointed--so I hope I'm right.)

Some other thoughts: Sit down for this one, kids, 'cause you're never gonna believe it. Wait for it...

I really liked Jack in this episode.

No, you didn't eat a Dharma shroom by mistake. You're not tripping; you're reading that correctly. I thought Jack was fantastic this time around. He was gusty, ballsy, and light years away from being a young surgeon, nervously trying to repair an injury he'd inflicted on a patient during surgery, under the watchful and judgmental eyes of his father. Clearly, Jack believes he and the other candidates are on the island for a purpose. He believed it so much he was willing to put his and Richard's lives at risk to find out if he was right or not. Now the man of science is trying to convince a disillusioned Richard Alpert to have faith that his life wasn't wasted, that it did have a purpose, that he didn't sacrifice his whole life to a man who's now dead and can't keep his promises. Jacob's little trick, showing Jack what was in the mirrors in the lighthouse, obviously had the desired effect: Jack's now a believer. And Jack, shepherd (ha!) that he is, is now in the process of getting others to follow his lead.

For those of you who have been wanting answers, we got a few in this episode. We got confirmation that there are 6 candidates, and that these people are candidates to replace Jacob. We got confirmation that Ilana's trying to protect these candidates. We got some peeks into Richard's life--although there are more to come, as I'm hearing there will be a Richard flashback episode in the next few weeks--and we know that he came from the Black Rock a very long time ago.

If I were a betting girl and had to choose which of the candidates gets to replace Jacob, I'd say...Vincent! (Just kidding. Sorta. I have heard that Vincent will be alive at the end of the show...) No, my money's on Jack. My reasoning is threefold (yet kinda quirky). First, and most obvious: He's a natural leader. Second, the meaning behind his tattoo: "He walks among us, but he is not one of us." And finally: The mirror factor. As Season 6 mirrors Season 1, as choices in Sideways World mirror actions in Island World, I see one great big palindrome where the end is the beginning, the beginning is the end. How did Season 1 start? With us seeing Jack, only Jack. How might Season 6 end? Perhaps with us seeing Jack, only Jack--but in a new role this time.

Thoughts? Theories? What'd you think of Dr. Linus? Who else giggled at the Nikki & Paulo reference? Anyone else relieved that we saw Arzt and dynamite in the same episode, but this time there were no Arzt chunks to speak of? ;) Talk to me in the Comments section!

A few a-MUSE-ing errors...

I have been waiting for today for, like, 90-some days (although it feels like I've been waiting foreeeeeever). Today is the day I finally get to see Muse, my favorite band! (As you may recall, although I met them back in September, which was amazing, the whole "seeing their concert" thing didn't work out so well for me.)

Not that the venue really wants me to see Muse today, though... They sent an e-mail early yesterday afternoon reminding me of today's show. You know, March 5's show. But the subject of the e-mail said I had tickets for March 3's show. The error would be more understandable if it were Ticketbastard sending out the e-mails, as they have a bajillion Muse shows to remind people of, but this e-mail came from the venue itself, and they've only got ONE Muse show to worry about. D'oh!

I thought it was nice that they sent out a version of the e-mail containing the proper show date later in the day. But my joy was short-lived...upon opening the e-mail, I noticed that they'd managed to butcher the name of the opening band. FAIL!

I'm looking at the bright side: At least they didn't manage to misspell Muse.

And, of course, there's an even brighter side: Tonight I finally, finally, finally get to see a Muse concert!

New York metro area residents, if you hear oodles upon oodles of girlish screaming and squealing tonight between about 9 and 10:30 PM, you'll have a pretty good idea of where it's coming from and which little grammar bitch is responsible for it. ;)

The Phillies are playing baseball, while the pirates are writing about it...

It's finally baseball season! Well, it's spring training season, anyway. And the Phillies are ready to rock and roll--their first spring training game against another MLB team is today (they're playing the 2010 World Series Champions, the Yankees...oh, it still hurts to write that!).

But not only are the Phillies present and accounted for, the pirates are, too. And I don't mean the Pirates (proper noun) from Pittsburgh (although I'm sure they're starting their spring training, too). I mean the pirates (not a proper noun) who wrote the above article. Arrr, matey--the Phillies game be available on MLB.TV! Shiver me timbers!

Thanks to fellow Phillies phan MAMA GRAMMARPHILE for spotting this amusing error! :)

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for March 3, 2010

I had to throw the non-Losties a bone (tee-hee! A Hump Day pun!) since all we've been doing on this site for the past couple Wednesdays in a row is, well, talking Lost. (Seriously, is anything else going on in the world besides Lost and the start of baseball season? If so, I'm completely unaware of it, and I also kind of don't even give a damn.)

I'm just curious--what exactly is "a real sex"? This sounds like something a certain dude from Kazakhstan would say. Now paging Borat...

LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words: "Sundown"

Welcome, dear readers, to LOST...in 815 (or fewer) words. This is a variation on last season's series of Lost posts on Red Pen, Inc.--the main difference being that these posts are less rambly. However, I'm still counting on the rest of you to talk to me in the comments about your thoughts/theories about last night's season premiere--so ramble on, you guys, OK? ;)

I have a lot to say about last night's episode. Like, a LOT. My mind's still spinning, even now. Let me start off by saying this: I thought it was brilliant, epic, and a turning point for this season. These writers are finding new ways to surprise us every week. While they didn't answer a bunch of questions this week like so many of us have been hoping for, they did provide us with a truly compelling episode that was action-packed, creepy, and thought-provoking.

There are so many little details I'm tempted to focus on here--so many symbolic things I want to analyze like crazy, finding out that Nadia was married to Sayid's brother in the sideways timeline, how I'm fascinated by their consistent use of the word "raised" (in regard to Aaron, and instead of other seemingly terminology like "brought up"--I'm not sure "raised" in this context always means what we'd ordinarily assume it means), the creepiness factor (Keamy was creepy as hell, and don't even get me started on Claire...), the significance of the stone block on the wall that Ilana pushed so that she, Lapidus, Sun, and Miles could hide out away from Smokey (that symbol really resembled an omega, which is the last character in the Greek alphabet, and this place, too, was a "last"--seemingly the last place they could go to guarantee their safety).

But I'm going to pull my attention away from the little details and take a good look at the big picture, which seems to focus on:

a) "For every man there is a scale" that indicates a person's balance of the good vs evil inside them--and tonight we saw some beloved characters crossing over to the "evil" side of that scale. I am sure we'll be dealing more with the scales of the other major characters soon enough.

b) What the man of light (Jacob) and the man of darkness (Smokey/MIB) seem to be promising various characters is, in exchange for that character's loyalty/support/presence, a chance to transcend the boundaries of space and time, to allow those characters to bring back someone they have lost (according to Dogen, this is what Jacob promised him, and we heard FLocke promise this to Sayid--although it remains to be seen whether either, both, or only one of these men making the promises intends or even has the ability to keep them). So now I'm wondering--is this less a story of redemption and more a story of reconnecting with who or what one holds dear--or, perhaps, are those cause and effect (as in, redemption comes from reconnecting with who or what one holds dear)?

c) Something's coming--a few somethings, actually. Inevitably, a clash of timelines. Also inevitably, a clash of characters. Once-loyal characters like Sayid and Claire have fallen prey to the dark side. Characters like Jack and Hurley seem to stay on the side of the light. And then, in terms of who I'd consider major characters, you've got Kate, Sawyer, Sun, Jin, Ben, and Richard. Kate appears to be following the FLocke, but I'm not convinced she really is; although she looked appropriately mesmerized in the final scenes of the episode, FLocke looked at her with skepticism and contempt. Is Kate pulling a long con of her own? I wouldn't put it past her. Sawyer also appears to be on the side of Smokey, but speaking of long cons, I'm not really buying it. My gut tells me Sun and Jin are more on the light side, along with Richard. Ben, though--I believe he's a true variable. A supporter of Jacob for most of his life, he was the person who killed Jacob, and was also ordered by his dead daughter (presumably Smokey in disguise--not that he knows that) to be loyal to Locke. Only...FLocke isn't exactly Locke. So how literally will Ben take that order? What's he gonna do? (Next week's the Ben-centric episode, so I'm sure that'll be a good starting point to finding out what he'll do.)

On the mirror theme from last week, tonight's episode was a perfect mirror of some of the chaos we'd seen in Season 1; this is shaping up to be a Jack vs Locke (well, this time it's really FLocke) battle. It's castaway vs castaway. It's whispers in the woods. It's not knowing who you can trust. (And also on the topic of mirroring: When Sayid was walking through and surveying the destruction wreaked in the Temple after Smokey blew through it, it reminded me very much of watching Ben right after he'd gassed the whole Dharma village...)

One other thing I'd like to make a note of before encouraging you guys to comment your pretty little hearts out: I think it's incredibly significant that we have really not dealt with Aaron at all this season. We dealt with him a little bit in "What Kate Does," and he's (an invisible) part of the current storyline since he motivates Kate to want to find Claire (and Claire to subsequently want to kill Kate). But let's backtrack: he's been a Very Big Deal all throughout the show, and all of a sudden, they're not focusing on him very much. Anyone else suspect Aaron's gonna show up somewhere completely unexpected to do something completely unexpected...and major?

Now it's your turn. What did you think of "Sundown"? Talk to me! :)

Let's talk about cock...and tail!

In order to be a good, nitpicky Grammarphile, you've gotta be really, really observant. Sometimes the tiniest little things make for the most hilarious mistakes. Like, you know, a teensy-tiny little space being somewhere that it shouldn't be.

I read the beginning of this article and thought, "Hey, does the word cocktail have a space in there?" I put my nose up really near the computer screen, staring intently, trying to gauge if that was really the case. Then I highlighted and copied the text into a Word document and found that yes, indeed, there is a space there. And there shouldn't be one! Cocktail is one word, not a two-word phrase. And I think cocktail is probably very, very different from cock tail...

So, dear readers, let's start off the week by coming up with funny explanations as to what a "cock tail dress" is... ;)