Wednesday, December 1, 2010

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for December 1, 2010


I had to pinch myself after reading this Yahoo question to make sure I wasn't in the middle of some crazy nightmare where people are really this freakin' stupid.

Sadly, it wasn't a dream--it's reality.  Some moron actually tried to make a penis-shaped cookie using his penis.  How stupid is this person?  Let me count the ways:

1. His gift-giving skills are clearly a little off.  

2. He doesn't know when he should be using hyphens.

3. He's too dumb to be careful while there's a sharp object around his penis.

4. He put his penis near the sharp object by his own free will.

5. He doesn't understand that if he actually named his penis Willy, then "Willy" should be capitalized.  If he doesn't consider that a proper noun, then he should have said "my willy."
6. I'm sure there are other ways this person's stupid, but I think I've made my point.

Also, is it really necessary to use a steak knife to cut through dough?  Why didn't this idiot use a butter knife?  If he'd nicked himself with that, I doubt the cut would have been as bad.  (Oh, wait, he's an idiot.  That's why he didn't use a butter knife.)

By the way, how does this dude have a girlfriend?  Seriously, how?

Happy Hump Day, folks.  Please keep your willies and all other genitalia away from the kitchen utensils.  This has been a public service announcement from The Grammarphile.

6 comments:

Jon said...

To prevent this from happening in future generations, he should have simply removed the offending wounded member.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Jon, I agree 100%! :)

mama grammarphile said...

I cannot believe I am even going to type this, but...

You could actually have considered
this a pubic service, rather than a
public service.

I can now sit back and ponder how wrong and stupid of me it was to send that comment to you.

Love you.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hahahaha! Good one, Mom! :) Love you, too!

EVula said...

I... that... but...

*sigh*

Every day, my faith in humanity slips just a little bit further...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I feel your pain, EVula. It's stuff like this that makes me think someody in authority seriously needs to consider making people pass an IQ test in order for them to be allowed to breed.