Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I am the mistress of mayhem...I am the breaker of stuff.

I think I may have to give myself a new title 'round these parts.  Lately it seems less appropriate to call me The Grammarphile and more appropriate to call me Nikki, Destroyer of Pretty Much Everything. 

Earlier in the week, you may recall that I broke a bed.  And then yesterday I broke a tank top...

With my boobs.

Yeah, you read that right.

The really scary thing?  It's not the first time this year that this has happened.  Apparently my chest is a weapon of mass destruction. 


This is me, only blonder...


Anyway, so I was looking around for ways to fix a bra tank top.  And during my search, I found this smorgasbord of errors...


Now, this article is about fixing your bra, not your bra tank top.  But while my bra tank top remains broken, my issue of "What the hell do I blog about today?" has been resolved, at least.

There are tons of mistakes in the article, but my favorite errors are that the writer keeps implying that you have to fix a bra fix (no, you don't--you have to fix a bra, but you don't have to fix a fix), and that she confused razorback with racerback.  It's a bra, not a wild hog.  *headdesk*

Anyway.  I'm starting to get a little worried, seeing as how trouble comes in threes, and so far I've only broken two things.  What will the third thing be?  I'm hoping it's not a limb, a car, or anything too dangerous.  But whatever it is, I can almost guarantee you it'll provide me with an entertaining story for you...

6 comments:

mama grammarphile said...

Perhaps you need to buy some *armored* tank tops...

Since you seem to be having a run of bad luck, please be extra careful today, Sweetie.

Love you.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

LOL @ *armored* tank tops!

Don't worry, I'll be extra careful. All I'm going to do is some work at home, wait for the Sleepy's guys to deliver my bed, and go to sleep. How much trouble can I get into, and how much stuff can I break, in a bed? Oh...wait...nevermind. ;)

Love you, too!

EVula said...

This... this is me *desperately* trying to not crack any jokes. Man, this is hard.

Er, wait, that didn't come out right...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

LOL! EVula, I was just on the phone with Mama Grammarphile, and we were talking about you! My mom figured this post (and possibly also yesterday's) was right up your alley, and she was wondering why you hadn't commented yet! (We always heart your comments, by the way. You totally bring the snark.) :)

EVula said...

Haha, so happy to know that I've got fans. ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

You've totally got fans...at least in my family, anyway! :)