Why yes, I *am* damn picky.

So, as I mentioned on Friday, I went shopping.

You'd think that with a 30% off coupon, I'd have been able to find something I wanted at Juicy.

Yeah. Not so much. There was this one shirt I liked, though. I had it in my hand and was going to buy it. It was hot pink with pretty silver writing on it. It was cute. It was my size. But then I took a closer look...

...and I found that, horror of horrors, it had an apostrophe error on it.

I put that shirt down soooo quickly. You'd have laughed if you saw me. I suppose I'm afraid of screwy apostrophe usage being contagious. And for god's sake, the Grammarphile cannot run around with an apostrophe error emblazoned across her chest. No freakin' way!

I suppose this is one way to cure my shopaholicness (shopaholism?): Make all the cute clothing have apostrophe errors on it, and then no matter how cute the clothes are, I won't buy 'em...

Happy Black Friday!

Today is Black Friday, and since I'm something of a shopaholic, I'm headed out to join the masses for a day of fiscal debauchery. Among the places I'll be going today is the Juicy Couture store (hooray for 30% off coupons!). On a related note, have I ever mentioned how screwing up the word "couture" is one of my pet peeves? 'Cause it totally is. It's a fashion-related pet peeve of mine right up there with tapered jeans, visible panty lines, and the color chartreuse (which I am convinced nobody looks good in and that all chartreuse clothing should be outlawed).



To those of you also doing Black Friday shopping today, good luck, and I wanna hear about your fabulous finds! :)

Happy Turkey Day from Red Pen, Inc.

Happy Thanksgiving from Red Pen, Inc! I hope all of you reading this have a lovely day filled with friends, family, good food, and good spelling. If anyone at your dinner table misspells something silly like "potato," you have every right to banish 'em to the corner, make 'em wear a dunce cap, and not give 'em any pumpkin pie! ;)


(Thanks to STEVE R. for this photo!)

Happy birthday, Mama Grammarphile!

My mom taught me many things, but among the best things she taught me was how to write clearly.

The same is obviously not true for this idiot...

Does he mean his girlfriend's mom, his mom (who is also his girlfriend...and, um, eww!), or what? Some punctuation would be a good idea here...although seeing how this guy writes, even if he did use punctuation here, he'd probably misuse it. *sigh* Maybe whoever he's referring to hates him because he has, like, zero clarity in his writing and he can't spell worth shit. Just sayin'...

Happy birthday to the person who made sure my writing was always clear and my spelling was always excellent--and who is also the best mom ever. Mama Grammarphile, I hope you have a fabulous day, and I'm glad I'll get to spend part of your birthday with you!

MISSPELLING MONDAY for November 23, 2009

In honor of going back to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving (and not a moment too soon, 'cause I'm hella homesick), today's Misspelling Monday will focus on some PA-related errors.

First up, from LIEBCHEN, is a variation on the normal spelling of the town Abington...



But hey, at least those people tried to get it right--not like these guys...



STEVE, who sent in this that picture, points out that the zip code next to the missing town name belongs to Conshohocken (technically, West Conshohocken). Y'know, if you sound it out and spell it slowly, even non-native Philly suburb folks should theoretically be able to get it right if they actually try...

Ahhh, Philly suburbs...I can't wait to go home for a little while. :)

FOODIE FRIDAY for November 20, 2009

It's one of those months weeks days where I wouldn't mind just drinking my lunch. So, (doubly) misspelled or not, hand over the booze now, dammit!

Thanks to JOHN Z. for this picture!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for November 18, 2009

LadyStyx, I hope you'll take this new nickname in the (humorous) spirit in which it's intended, because I really can't hold back on this one.

I dub you, LadyStyx, the official Red Pen, Inc. Queen of Peen.

I'm honestly convinced that the lovely LadyStyx gets more dick in her inbox (that's not a euphemism, folks; get your minds outta the gutter!) than most prostitutes see in a solid month's worth of bookings.

This is the stuff LadyStyx sees in her inbox on a daily basis...



And then, of course, she's kind enough to share it with me, and I in turn share it with you, dear readers. Because what good is all this male part if you just keep it to yourself? 'Tis the season for sharing!

Thanks, LadyStyx, for another ridickulously funny submission!

Grammatical dissonance...

Hmm, something about this picture strikes a sour note with me...

There's just something a little out of tune about it...


Aha! There's a homonym error, making the description of this bracelet rather cacophonous instead of harmonious.

Thanks, AMY, for spotting this error!

FOODIE FRIDAY for November 13, 2009

RANIELLE, who snapped a photo of this cute little misspelled sign, says, "Is it alphabet soup? 'Cause I'd like to buy a vowel..."

And I've got nothin' more to say about this error, 'cause Ranielle totally out-snarked me on this one. :) Happy Friday, everyone!

TRN27522ZV8A

TRN27522ZV8A

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for November 11, 2009

Wow--who knew? All this time, men have thought it was flowers and chocolate and light blue boxes from Tiffany's that proved their love to their women. This is good news for the guys, since a "concrete woody" is sure to be less expensive, less fattening, and less allergy-inducing than any of those traditional ideas...

MISSPELLING MONDAY for November 9, 2009

Oh, the sweet, sweet irony of it all.* MAGGIE sent in this article about typos...and the article itself featured a typo. A very ironic typo. As in, the writer screwed up the "editor" part of "copy editor"...



Thanks, MAGGIE, for finding this funny little typo!

* I can't be too critical of this, considering how I've made similar errors before in RPI posts. But c'mon now, this is too funny to not mock just a little bit...

If there are any spelling/grammar errors in this post, blame the meds, not me...

I have a confession to make...

I already miss baseball.

That's right. I've been without a baseball game to watch for a whole 24 hours or so. And with the way that last game ended (my team, the good guys, lost to the Evil Empire), you'd think I'd be ready for a break from baseball. But I am so not ready.

And so here I sit, in a muscle relaxant-induced groggy state, lamenting the fact that pitcher's and catcher's report is about 150 days away, and it'll be even longer than that before I get to see any hot men in pinstripes.

However, I am not so groggy that this little error could slip by me...



Who's this Doug? And does he look nice in pinstripes?

Regardless, Doug does not belong in dugout.

There are some things money can't buy, and apparently spelling skills are one of those things. For everything else, there's MasterCard. ;)

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for November 4, 2009

There are so many things wrong with this sign that I really don't know where to begin.

First of all, who the hell buys panties out of a random laundry basket?

What if bad grammar-itis can be transmitted through panties? Then you're so seriously screwed (not in the good way, either). I have a feeling this should say Ladies' Panties, not Lady's Panties.

And seriously, if somebody's only charging a buck for panties, I can't help but suspect they've gotta be pre-worn (that's way too cheap to sell new panties). And buying used panties...well, that's just gross.

Thanks to JOHN Z. for this picture. Happy Hump Day, you wild and crazy kids!

MISSPELLING MONDAY for November 2, 2009

Holy crap, it's November already. How did that happen?

And also on the topic of "How did that happen?"...

More like "Remember to not omit necessary letters in your words, and also remember that well and will are not the same thing."*

Thanks, LadyStyx, for finding this very timely (and screwy) sign!

* Thank goodness I re-read this before posting it, since I actually spelled the word "letters" with only one t. That would have been ironic, no?