MISSPELLING MONDAY for August 31, 2009

This picture makes me wonder if "GPS" actually stands for "godawfully poor speller."

Thanks, JUSTIN, for taking this picture!

Fun stuff for Friday...

I'm always sort of fascinated by how people have found this website. However, I'm astounded by the number of people who have stumbled on this site by making spelling or grammar errors in their Google searches. Check out what people have been Googling that has led them to Red Pen, Inc:

Just as entertaining as the spelling errors are some of the bizarre/random search terms. For some reason, I always get hits from a lot of people searching for the "most dangerous hurricane." But even weirder--"pull cat by tail"? "Shirtless boys"? (If they'd said shirtless ballplayers, I'd know why they landed on this page, but shirtless boys?) And "spelling of quite"? How hard is that? (Answer: not very.) Although I've gotta wonder if they were trying to spell quite or quiet in those instances...

Fellow bloggers, what sorts of weird words do people Google that eventually lead them to find your site?

FOODIE FRIDAY for August 28, 2009

When I see an issue like this, I need to drink something much stronger than just Pepsi.

Obviously the word they should have used here is goes. WTF is this "go's" business? That's just...so...wrong. On so many levels.

Thanks, KIM, for spotting this one!

The Grammarphile attempts to talk about that other sport. You know, the one that isn't baseball...

I know you guys are used to hearing me talk about baseball, but today I'm not going to talk about baseball. (Really. Promise!)

That's because I'm talking about football instead.



I'm not really into football, but the one little iota of me that actually cares about the sport roots for the Eagles (Iggles!), since I'm a Philly girl at heart. But the Eagles have kinda pissed me off lately, what with signing Michael Vick and all.

I'll say this--Vick did his time in jail. He was punished for the bad stuff that he did. I'm not opposed to him returning to football in general and getting a second chance at his career. But I am opposed to him coming to play football in Philadelphia. He may have done his time, but I think he's still an asshole, and I wish the Eagles would do a better job in helping to keep Philly an asshole-free zone, sports-wise.

I do wish that the idiot who wrote this little blurb above would have written Vick's as opposed to Vicks'. Because what would be worse than one asshole Michael Vick in Philadelphia? Two asshole Michael Vicks in Philadelphia, of course!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for August 26, 2009

This is one of the funniest Hump Day Grammar pictures I've seen in awhile! It comes to us from the lovely MRS. X. She says: "This is one my aunt spotted at her local pharmacy; it reminds us of a great episode of Seinfeld!"

Let this be a lesson to you--there are certain words and phrases that simply shouldn't be shortened. "Assistant Manager" is a very good example of one of those phrases.

Thanks, MRS. X, for sending in this picture!

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY for August 25, 2009

Am I still on a bit of a baseball high after this weekend? You bet your ass I am. Which means I've gotta do a baseball-related RPI post today. But don't worry, even you non-baseball fans will be amused by the error featured in this post.

A couple weeks ago, there was a little fight between guys on the Red Sox and Tigers. A couple players were suspended for being in the fight. CRANE, who sent in this photo, says, "I like rolls as much as the next guy, but I don't think there were any in the game..."

I'm guessing they should have been suspended for their roles in the fight, not for their rolls (this wasn't a food fight!)...

Thanks, CRANE, for spotting this funny mistake!

MISSPELLING MONDAY for August 24, 2009

Yeah, so I'm a little late with today's post. That's because I'm still tired/reeling from yesterday's crazy/amazing baseball game--you know, the one with the game-ending unassisted triple play? I was there to see it. (It was my second Phillies game of the weekend...thankfully, Sunday's exciting win was a lot more fun than Friday's not-so-exciting loss.) And then after the game, I tired myself out by wandering New York City...and even after a good night's sleep, my legs are still sore. And so, somehow, is my brain, although I'm going to blame that on being back at work on a Monday morning.

Anyway, for today's post, I have not one but three amusing misspellings for you...

This one's from LadyStyx, who says: "If they were attempting to write the word English in Spanish, they wanted the word Ingles (with an accent over the e). If they were going to do that, they should have also translated Spanish to the same language (Espanol...with the ~ over the n) so there was an agreement of sorts. Bad enough they misspelled English, but they added a period as well..."

This one, also from LadyStyx, is quite the FAIL. Shouldn't people who are snobby enough to think that the only language spoken in America is English also be smart enough to not screw up the spelling of a relatively simple word? I mean, really--hypocritical much?

And in case you thought bad spelling was just a national problem here in America, I'm letting you know that apparently there are also international problems with spelling... One of those problems is that "international" is too tricky for people to spell properly. (And now I'm biting my tongue so that I don't make any NASCAR jokes just in case some of you fine folks reading this happen to enjoy NASCAR...)

Happy Monday, everyone! :)

Note: Thank goodness I proofread what I write here; I was about to hit the "publish post" button, and I realized I'd misspelled a word in the title of the post. What was that word, you ask? "Misspelling." D'oh! Yeah, I really must still be tired...

FOODIE FRIDAY for August 21, 2009

Well, well, well. Looks like we've got ourselves a foodie FAIL. Or a definition FAIL.

JEN, a fellow Twins fan who blogs at Lipgloss & Baseball, took this hilarious picture:


I'm just curious--exactly what kind of vegetarian would choose ham, roast beef, turkey, or pastrami for his sandwich?

Somebody really needs to explain the concept of being a vegetarian to whoever created this menu. What's next--T-bone steaks on the menu in India? A big ol' roast pork on the table at Passover?

Thanks to JEN for finding this one!

Keeping up with the grammar screw-ups...

Trouble comes in threes. Kardashian sisters also come in threes. And today I present to you three recent Kardashian-related grammar/spelling snafus...

All of the Kardashian sisters but Kim have really screwily-spelled names. Here, somebody screws up the spelling of Kourtney's name even more...


I hate looking at the name Khloe because it totally looks misspelled even though, in this case, it isn't. Sigh. But this picture's not error-free, either...it's got a homonym error! (Also--is it just me, or does the sister on the left look totally fug?)



Last but not least is an error that MAGGIE found for us... (Thanks, Maggie, for spotting this one...)

Ugh, a whose/who's error! The writer should really have known better...

On a related note, I hope that when Kourtney pops out her spawn, she does not follow family tradition and instead names the child something that doesn't look like an annoying misspelling at first glance.

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for August 19, 2009

Welcome to Hump Day Grammar--the Fangbanger Edition. ;)


I searched high and low for a fun True Blood-themed HDG post. Unfortunately, it seems like everyone who writes about True Blood uses decent grammar, because I had to resort to the old Yahoo Answers barrel o' fish for this one:


The "IT MAKES ME HORNY!" makes me laugh. A lot. And the lack of proper capitalization makes me roll my eyes, as does the frequent "!!!!" by all of the people who posted on this thread.

But the worst offense of all is..."tv serious." I mean, really? Are you effin' serious? (Or are you just an idiot?)

People that dumb totally don't deserve to watch True Blood and its saucy vampire sex. They should not be allowed to see steamy shots of Sookie and Eric in bed. Or scenes where that creepy vampire above has his way with fangbangin' women. Or even tender, puke-worthy Sookie/Bill bedtime scenes. No. People who are that ignorant should not see any of those things...

It might give 'em ideas, you know. And we sure as hell don't want these sorts of folks to engage in any activity during which they could potentially create grammatically incompetent spawn.

Have yourself a happy Hump Day...with a little bit of bite!

Crappy spelling makes me [sic].

Really? Was it an epidemic of crappy spelling that killed Mozart?

Oh, wait, no--that's evidently the epidemic that's currently happening. I don't know what the hell's going on today, but I'm seeing errors all over the place--more/worse than usual. This is just one of several errors I've found today...and it's still early.

Swine flu is so yesterday; right now it's all about the misspelling flu! (The misspelling flu makes you unable to keep down properly spelled words, and it makes you puke up words that aren't spelled correctly. Gross!)

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY for August 18, 2009

OK, I have to admit that I'm persnickety enough to be a wee bit bothered by the lack of agreement going on in this headline (how about "For tattooed stars, their bodies are their canvases" or "For a tattooed star, her body is her canvas"?).

But I'm even more annoyed about the homonym error in the headline. Canvass does not mean the same thing as canvas. This is a rookie mistake from the website of a newspaper whose employees should be savvy enough to know better.

I don't have any ink, but if I did, I'd have tattoos of my sun sign (Aquarius) and moon sign (Scorpio)--one on the back of each shoulder, very small. Or possibly two little fang marks on my wrist (because having them on my neck would be way too tough to cover up), haha. What about you? Got tattoos? Want tattoos? Tell me about 'em!

MISSPELLING MONDAY for August 17, 2009

Hmmm, I think the creepiest thing in this picture, sent in by MELODY, is the spelling (or, more accurately--the misspellings). I mean, "creapy"? Ugh. (Double ugh, in fact, since they made that screw-up twice.) And what's this business about "com quench your thirst"...?

Also: I am not going anywhere with anyone who has fangs unless the person with fangs happens to be this guy...

(Yep, I'm definitely on Team Eric. Are there any other True Blood fans who read this blog? If so--are you Team Bill, Team Eric, or Team Sam?)

Thanks, MELODY, for spotting these amusing spelling errors!

Fun stuff for Friday!

* I like it when people write about Red Pen, Inc. (As long as they say nice things and write in a grammatically correct manner, of course.) Thanks to the folks at The Push Institute for mentioning RPI in one of their recent posts!

* Didn't anybody ever tell 'em it's all about location, location, location? Even funnier than web ads that contain bad grammar are...well, you'll see (if you click here). And then you'll laugh. A lot. (Thanks to MIRANDA for finding this!)

* And here are some funny pictures for you from RPI readers...

This one's from Kim-- sign orientation FAIL!

(The moose are probably responsible for this. Those hooligans are always causing trouble...)


And this one's from Jeff...

I'm not sure which is the bigger FAIL here: The fact that they'll be closed for 20 years, or the fact that there are no freakin' Chick-Fil-A restaurants in the NY metro area (actually, there's one, and it's somewhere in the city, and I can't quite figure out how to get there...but that's still a pathetic number, y'know?). Instead of taking 20 years to rebuild this Chick-Fil-A, how 'bout building a couple new Chick-Fil-A restaurants here in NY?

Have a great weekend, everyone!

FOODIE FRIDAY for August 14, 2009

First of all, I don't think this Paris Bistro was actually in Paris (my friend KIM took this picture, and I'm pretty sure she hasn't been to Paris lately), so it's not like the reason this error was made is because the folks who wrote this sign were French people who didn't understand English well enough to make an error-free sign...

So, do you think this restaurant is open for a diner (as in a person who dines), a diner (as in an entire restaurant), or just for dinner (except that the sign-makers were too silly to spell "dinner" correctly)? Yeah, I'm going with choice #3...

Perhaps I'm being overly picky here (and in other news, the ocean is wet and the sun is bright...), but I also don't like "Except: Sunday for breakfast and lunch." If they ditched the colon, that would make it a little better...but even then, I still don't like it.

Thanks to KIM for finding this one. Happy Friday, everyone!

I ain't sayin' he's a gold-digger...

Spam mail annoys me. But at least when it shows up looking like this, it provides me with giggles and fodder for a Red Pen, Inc. post:


You'd think these spammers would have caught on by now that if they have any prayer of someone actually believing their crazy-ass stories and then giving them money, they should probably write said crazy-ass stories using decent English so that we don't suspect that it's some foreigner trying to scam us.

I suppose good grammar's not the only thing these spammers lack...they must also be sorely lacking in common sense!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for August 12, 2009

Usually, consistency is a good thing...

But not always.

Not, for instance, when you make the same spelling error over...and over...and over...


It's kind of pathetic when somebody else misspelling the same damn word but in a different way actually feels like a breath of fresh air.

By the way--you guys are totally awesome at submitting Red Pen, Inc. stuff (thank you to everyone who has been submitting funny errors to me lately!). However, I'm in desperate need of some Hump Day Grammar submissions. Don't let me be the only one who has all the fun of typing things like "blow-up doll," "condoms," and "butt plugs" in Google just to see what comes up that might have a misspelling or grammar error attached... ;) If you find something, pretty please send it to me: thegrammarphile@yahoo.com!

Pull its tail? Gross!

The last time I was home in PA visiting my family, I went to the grocery store with my mom.

Those of you who know me know I don't go anywhere without a camera. I mean, with my luck, the day I forget my camera will be the day I see The Most Heinous Grammar Error EVER.

So, yeah, I even take my camera to the grocery store. And when we were perusing the cat toys for sale, I found a hilarious toy with a funny apostrophe error on its packaging.

I must have giggled maniacally at the Running Rodent for, like, five minutes. It was hard to take the picture because I was giggling so hard at this (not that it's that funny of an error--it's more like I was that punchy).

I think my mom was slightly mortified at witnessing my habit of whipping out my camera in public and taking pictures of (and giggling at) random shit, but luckily she's used to it by now...and she's a damn good sport about it.

Also--am I the only one who thinks pulling the mouse's tail is kinda gross? Or is that just my infantile sense of humor at work again?

Thanks to MAMA GRAMMARPHILE for her patience while I took this funny picture! :)

MISSPELLING MONDAY for August 10, 2009

Hmmm. Somebody was obviously smoking something when this sign was written. Something stronger than cigarettes, that is. Yikes!

Thanks to KIM for spotting this crazy misspelling!

Fun stuff for Friday!

Since it's Friday afternoon and you're all probably procrastinating like I am, I thought I'd throw some fun stuff your way to help keep you thoroughly entertained and distracted during the final hours of the work week...

* RED PEN, INC. IN THE PRESS! Red Pen, Inc. (along with several other fabulous grammar-oriented blogs) got a mention in the National Post this week! Click here to check out the article.

* THE MOTHER OF ALL GRAMMAR FAILS... The folks at Vanity Fair decided to try their hand at proofreading Sarah Palin's resignation speech. The result? A lot of red pen. It's hilarious...check it out here. Thanks to KC and PAT for sending me this link!

* HOORAY FOR SNARKINESS! Red Pen, Inc. reader YVIE pointed me in the direction of the snarky, funny blog Avoid This Job. This post is my favorite one I've read on there so far, with this one coming in at a close second. YVIE notes that these posts are "continuing to prove that people who suck at grammar are also incredibly creepy." I totally agree!

Have a happy weekend, everyone! I'm already antsy for my weekend to get started, as I'm going to see Jason Mraz and G. Love and Special Sauce tonight! *squeal* :)

FOODIE FRIDAY for August 7, 2009

Fee, fi, fo, fum...

...I smell the blood of a bad freakin' typist.*

BRIDGETE took this picture in the cafeteria at work. She says, "It seems to be telling me the fee for the cottage cheese is fat, but I always pay cash.." Haha!

If you haven't had breakfast yet, this is your cue to go find something tasty to NOM!


* Despite the "fee, fi, fo, fum," The Grammarphile will have you know that she is not actually a giant. When she purchases Phillies shirts, for instance, they are all size medium...child's medium, that is. This may be why she often gets mistaken for being quite a few years younger than she really is, which is rather embarrassing when she attempts to purchase alcohol. C'est la vie.

Hollywood (spelling-related) horror stories...

In Hollywood, stars get all sorts of VIP treatment...they'll get goodie bags at major events, VIP parties at posh clubs, and free clothing from designers... But they don't always get their names spelled correctly.

WINONA found this one. Now, I know that bad grammar and terrible spelling runs rampant on Twitter, but, as Winona puts it, "you've been working with the woman for eight years--learn to spell her name!" Winona also notes that "'She's a star at a great friend' - I think someone needs to teach him about the wonderful ampersand. Wheel of Fortune uses it all the time!"

Yeah, apparently Mr. Seacrest is a wee bit punctuationally-challenged...

Sometimes bad misspellings happen to good bands. Take Nine Inch Nails, for instance...



There's no spell-checker on the planet that would have known to suggest "Inch" in place of "In" in this context, but the human being creating the e-mail should have looked at that subject line and instantly known that something was wrong. (Bow down before the one you serve, rotten proofreader--you're going to get what you deserve...)

Last but not least, BECKY (whose blog, Apostrophe Catastrophes, is fabulous, and you should really check it out sometime!) sent in this amusing error...



The Girls Next Store? What did they sell there, exactly? Blonde hair dye? Boob jobs?

Thanks to BECKY and WINONA for spotting these star-studded snafus!

Cash for Clunkers? Not exactly...

I know there's a program where you can get cash for your clunker of a car, but what sort of programs are there for getting something in return for turning in clunckers?

If there aren't any such programs, I'd like to propose this one: Turn in your "cluncker"...and get a copy of Spelling for Dummies, absolutely FREE!

Thanks, BREE, for finding this misspelling!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for August 5, 2009: The Tale of the Engrish Speaker and the Obama Condoms

OmiGOD, you guys, this is insane. I don't even know where to begin. This cannot possibly have been written by a native English speaker--right? Between the spelling, the sentence construction, the awkward language...this is screaming out "ENGRISH!!!!" (If I'm wrong and this is written by a native English speaker, shame on him or her, 'cause this is effin' awful.)

I mean, really. Obama is the "residence of USA"? Nice try, but...FAIL. Big, big FAIL.

I keep reading and then re-reading the above text...shaking my head, giggling, and suppressing screams. I think if I'm tempted to read those words again, I'll need to be chugging something strong. Like vodka. Straight out of the freakin' bottle.

Happy Hump Day, you wild and crazy kids!

Andy Pettitte--twice as nice the next day?

Fellow baseball fan PHRANK took this funny screenshot. He says: Apparently Andy Pettitte is such an animal he is pitching back-to-back games against the Blue Jays this week. And I thought he was reaching the end of his career...

While I think it's amusing that this website thinks Pettitte is pitching back-to-back games (as if!), I think it's even funnier that while the writer screwed up the simple fact of which pitcher is pitching for the Yankees, he actually managed to spell Rzepczynski's name correctly...twice. (That's a hell of a last name to have to spell all the time...yikes!)

Thanks, PHRANK, for finding this baseball-related error!

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY for August 4, 2009

THAR SHE BLOWS... The FAIL Whale, that is. And while we're on the subject of "blows"? Well, that also applies to this person's grammar. There's a big difference between whales and Wales!

Thanks to LadyStyx for spotting this one on FAILblog!

MISSPELLING MONDAY for August 3, 2009

Hmmm. This doesn't look like a scrapper...

It looks more like a scraper. Which, by the way, is a multi-use tool, not a "multi use tool."

I'd make a few snide comments about the general FAIL-ness of this product's packaging, but I'm pretty sure that the product's bar code, which says "Made in India," explains pretty much everything...so I'll be gentle. This time, anyway. ;)

Thanks to STEVE for finding this one!