Well, they were right about the "issues" part...

Is it wrong of me to be less worried about U.S./Mexico border issues than I am about the issue of how Yahoo desperately needs to hire someone, anyone, who can freakin' proofread?

I get that Sates won't come up as being "wrong" when you use spellchecker, but if you actually look at what you've written (or have someone else check over what you've written), I'm pretty sure you'd notice that error right away. It just doesn't look right. Sigh. (I do a lot of sighing here lately.)

By the way--it's the weekend. You must have a little free time on your hands. Use it to go try to win a thong by saying something funny. You know you want to!

No, thank you...

I'm on lists for a bunch of different Meetup groups, many of which are writing-related, although as of yet I've not actually shown up at any Meetups--writing 3 blogs (with an idea for another one in the works), trying to write my first book (way tougher than it seems, kiddos!), and writing other random stuff (mine's the one written by Nikki--fourth one down on the page) keeps me kinda busy, you know?

But even if I had all the time in the world, this is one Meetup group whose meetings I wouldn't be at all interested in attending. Anyone who wants the members of the Meetup group to "critic each other's work" just does not seem like a good place for me to be. I'm fine with critiquing one another's work, of course, but you can't possibly "critic" anyone else's work. And if you actually think that you can "critic" someone's work...well then, that means I really don't want you critiquing mine. Sigh.

FOODIE FRIDAY for February 27, 2009

Oh, thank goodness it's Friday. I've been waiting for Friday since, um, Monday. (It's been that kind of week.)

This picture comes to us from YVIE. She says: There was a slew of apostrophe mistakes in this grocery store review, but this one was my favorite. Both the reviewer and the title get it wrong with Uncle Giuseppes', but the best part is the image along side the review where it's actually spelled correctly... and then it's wrong again on the actual store. I'm sort of left wondering if the name is supposed to be Giuseppe, or Giuseppes? The image with both spellings is actually from the front page of their website. My conclusion was that whoever built their website knows basic grammar, and the sign guy? Not so much. There seem to be similar disagreements on pretty much every page of their site.

This definitely seems like a Signage FAIL, Marketing FAIL, and a Punctuation FAIL all in one! Impressive, no?

Thanks, YVIE, for spotting this one! Happy Friday, everyone!

Now those Yahoos are messin' with American Idol...

Holy crap, you mean Lost isn’t the only television show out there? ChicagoLady's Red Pen, Inc., submission reminded me that other TV shows do exist. She says: While getting my Idol fix, I noticed the error in the very first sentence. I'm sure the writer meant "On the one hand..." but their version makes me think of Kara winning a hand. Another example of poor grammar by those good folks at Yahoo.

Haha! Let's all give Kara a hand for being such a fabulous judge. And let's give Yahoo a hand for...oh, wait, never mind. Their bad writing doesn't deserve a hand, unless that hand is giving them a big ol' spanking!

Thanks to ChicagoLady for finding this one!

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for February 26, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.


Could someone please tell this person that the Dharma Initiative is a proper noun (and that it's spelled Dharma, not Darma)? Sigh. I love this guy's screen name, though--it's ironic because it looks like HE'S the "noob"...at spelling!

OK, so last night’s episode of Lost was very much OMGWTF?!? The story’s getting so twisted (as if it wasn’t already twisted enough, right?). Who’s lying? Who’s telling the truth?

My answer to those questions: I have no effin’ idea.

Hell of an interesting episode. We start out seeing Cesar (that random dude who was sitting in the Oceanic 6’s section of the Ajira plane—who is probably not at all random, actually) stealing stuff (maps?) from a Dharma building. His female friend talks to Locke…she hadn’t noticed him on the plane, and obviously that’s because he was in a coffin during the plane ride. He starts telling her that he doesn’t remember the plane ride, but he does remember dying…

But before that, we’ve got Locke showing up in Tunisia, Charles Widmore coming to see Locke (or is it Jeremy Bentham now?), and then Widmore announcing that he himself was the leader of the people on the island, and that Ben had exiled him. And then Widmore, who’s acting like he’s on Locke’s side all of a sudden (and wanting Locke to be back on the island for “the war” that’s coming), sends that sketchy Matthew Abbadon to escort Locke everywhere, since Locke needs a driver. And so Abaddon drives Locke to see Sayid and Hurley and Kate—none of whom will come back to the island—and also Walt, who got really, really freakin’ tall. I thought it was interesting that Locke wasn’t exactly forthcoming about what happened to Michael. He didn’t lie—he said that Michael was last seen on the freighter—but Michael’s most likely dead, and he omitted this when he talked to Walt. Abaddon also takes Locke to Helen’s grave. Turns out she died from a brain aneurysm. I liked this scene—where John learned that she’d died and sat there at her grave—because it’s so rare that we’ve seen Locke care about one specific person as opposed to seeing him care about, for instance, the well-being of his people and/or the island. “She loved me once,” he told Abaddon; my heart kinda broke for him a little bit there.

Then Abaddon gets shot and killed while out and about with Locke, who then drives the car himself, with his injured leg, and manages to get himself into a car crash. We later find out that it’s Ben who shot Abaddon (not a huge surprise there), but before that little revelation, we find out that Locke’s being treated for his car wreck-related injuries in the hospital where Jack works. And Jack doesn’t look at all pleased to see him. In fact, I think Jack’s downright mean to him, telling him that maybe Locke isn’t special, maybe he’s just a lonely old man who’s bored… Locke, clearly, is quite hurt by this. Before Jack leaves the room, though, he tells Jack that his father said to say hello. Locke figured out that Christian was Jack’s father through process of elimination (he knew Christian wasn’t Sayid’s or Hurley’s father). Now Jack actually looks affected—and confused, too, because he knows his father is dead. (We later find out from Ben that Jack booked a flight to Sydney that night and would be returning the next morning. Hmmm…what’s Jack up to there?)

Then Locke tries to hang himself—I think he’s doing it because he’s so depressed, not actually because Richard told him he’d have to die. Locke, with a noose around his neck, is just about to step off the table he’s standing on…and Ben shows up. Convinces Locke to not kill himself. Tells Locke how important he is to the island, and how he still has a lot of work to do. Gets Locke off the table. And then KILLS HIM himself.

That was my big WTF? moment. If Ben wanted Locke dead, why couldn’t he let him just kill himself instead of killing him and making it LOOK like Locke killed himself? (Could Locke not have been reincarnated or whatever if he’d committed suicide, perhaps?) Did Ben do this out of malice, or for the greater good? I couldn’t tell…what do you think?

At the end of the episode, Cesar takes Locke (who can walk just fine now—his injured leg seems to have been magically healed…and in fact, Locke looks younger now too, doesn’t he?) to the room where all the people who were hurt in the plane crash. Locke notices that Ben is one of the hurt, and he remembers—and tells Cesar—that Ben was the one who killed him. (On the topic of Cesar, he noticed that Hurley just up and disappeared from the plane during the crash, and boy, is he ever curious…)

Next week’s episode oughta be interesting. What will happen when Ben and Locke next talk? Is Ben a bad guy? Or is Widmore the bad guy? Or are they both bad—or both good? What will happen when Sawyer and Kate reunite (from the preview of next week’s episode, it looks like this will happen)? What’s Cesar’s deal? Where are the other Oceanic 6 people who were on the flight (we know where Hurley, Kate, and Jack ended up, but where are Sun and Sayid)?

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Favorite moments? New theories? New questions? New answers? Sound off in the Comments section!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR (and a CONTEST!) for February 25, 2009

This picture comes to us from EVula, who says: I saw a variation of this [sticker] on the back of a girl's car the other day while driving around (a quick Google search will net you several different variations of this, some with the proper "you're", some not... not to mention the fact that the ellipsis should have a third period). I'm torn. On the one hand, as a red-blooded straight male, hell yes I like this... but on the other hand, horrible grammar is a turn-off. Decisions, decisions...

So then I got to thinking--somebody's gotta be able to make a better bumper sticker than that. And by "better", I mean "involves a sexual joke AND good grammar." Something like these, perhaps...








Mine are kinda lame, though. I bet you can do better! What would your sexy grammar bumper sticker say (does not necessarily need to start with "If you're gonna ride my ass..."; feel free to be as creative as you want)? Tell me in the comments section below. Best/funniest one wins a prize. That's right--if I pick your sticker (yikes, that phrase sounds kinda gross...but you know what I mean, right?), you'll win this brand-spankin'-new (emphasis on that spankin') "Good grammar turns me on!" thong from Red Pen Couture!


You've got until 11:59 PM EST on Monday, March 2, to enter. The winner will be announced next Hump Day--Wednesday, March 4. Be funny, be naughty, and use sexy grammar. ;) Good luck!

(Thanks to EVula for the original picture that inspired this post and contest!)

Yeah, but what about the need for proofreaders...?

Speaking of growing needs for certain types of skilled professionals, I'm pretty sure that there's a lot of places that desperately need people who are excellent at editing and proofreading. Whether companies are hiring for these sorts of positions or not, I couldn't tell ya...but hell, just this tiny little blurb (missed hyphens, periods instead of question marks, typos...eek!) demonstrates a need for more editors and proofreaders.

I guess the good news (for whoever wrote the article, not for us) is that they didn't screw up public by omitting the l...which, admittedly, was the error I was hoping to find when I clicked on the article. Pubic/public errors are funnier than the errors shown in this picture. And c'mon, a picture that dealt with a pubic relations specialist position? You know that would've been hilarious. Damn them for being crappy with their editing, but not that crappy. Sigh.

Sad, sad...

I always get a little depressed when somewhere I like to shop screws up grammar or punctuation. In an e-mail blast I received the other day, I noticed that one of the things this store was highlighting is their accessory collection. If they'd thrown a hyphen between must and have, this would work a hell of a lot better. Must-have would have been a good adjective to describe/promote the accessories they're trying to sell. As it stands, though, it sounds like they're trying to force their accessories on you--you must have them for every outfit and occasion!

Just FYI, I bought a ring from this store (on sale, thank goodness) a couple weeks ago, and the damn thing broke the first day I wore it. The big blingy thing came right off. These might be must-have accessories if and only if you don't mind repairing your own jewelry...

MISSPELLING MONDAY (post 2 of 2) for February 23, 2009

This advertisement, sent in by PETER, is totally giggle-worthy. Has a new breed of animal been created? A two-t'ed bobcat called, um, bobcatt?

Peter says: I have been in the great state of Texas only a couple of times, so I can't guess whether some quirk of local culture may explain why Bobcat -- the name of the company that makes bucket loaders -- has been awarded an extra t. The company's slogan, "One Tough Animal," makes clear they have the furry creature in mind, not some founding engineer named Bob Catt. They also have a logo that definitely represents a cat, not a catt. The ad appeared in the Dripping Springs Century-News. I didn't make that up; it's a real newspaper. I hope someone can shed light on this spelling mystery but until a better suggestion comes along, I'll have to imagine that the ad was taken over the phone, and that neither Mr. McConaughey nor the ad taker knew how to spell bobcat. Consistent with that theory is the fact that "Bush Hog" is a manufacturer of rotary mowers, and the ad spells "bush hogging" correctly.

I like Peter's observation that "They also have a logo that definitely represents a cat, not a catt." Now I'm really curious about what a "catt" might look like. Any guesses?



Thanks, PETER, for spotting this amusing error!

MISSPELLING MONDAY (1 of 2) for February 23, 2009

Let's start off our Monday with a misspelling and a hellacious homonym error (plus some crappy writing), shall we?

BRIDGETE took this picture. She says: This was at a Portland, OR bus stop; TriMet is the name of the public transportation organization. This has a lot more going on than just the "to/too/two" confusion...I read it as an unfinished advertisement, like, "TriMet, cost to mush, $75." Not sure what they're mushing though...

I never thought I'd see the day where someone misspelled a simple little word like much. What's the world coming to, you guys?

Thanks to BRIDGETE for finding this one!

Taking a little trip with the FAILboat...

Here's a little something different for you guys. These have nothing to do with bad grammar, but they're pretty funny anyway. :)

I was wandering around Target the other day and noticed a product label that looked pretty funny. I submitted it to FAILblog...I'm hoping they feature it on their site.


Look, it's a desperate ho...and it's even on sale!

And this one was spotted by STEVE. I know it's been about 3 weeks since the Super Bowl happened, but I'm sure that many of you at least remember which two teams were playing. It was the Steelers vs. the Cardinals--although you'd never know it by looking at this newspaper...


Unfortunately, the Eagles were not in the Super Bowl this time around. I guess this picture illustrates the danger of placing team-specific ads before said teams have actually made it into the Super Bowl...

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! I'll be back with more grammar snafus for you manana...

Cute critters...not-so-cute writing!

These little meerkat pups are so adorable! It's a shame their picture has to hang out next to this awful caption. Odd/run-on sentence structure, omission of a necessary apostrophe, random capitalization of "meerkat" (since when did that become a proper noun?)... Sigh.

The best part, though, is that the caption refers to the carnivore keeper as being "unseen." Oh, really? Then whose hand are we seeing in the picture?

Let's talk about shoes...

I love this photo from TEACHERWOMAN. I mean, I hate it (because it makes me want to scream), but I love it (because it's written so badly that it's hilarious).

I also love this sign because it promotes purchasing/wearing sandals. One really odd thing about me is that pretty much year-round, I wear open-toed shoes--sandals, stilettos, etc. (When it snows, I wear boots into work and then as soon as I sit down at my desk, I change into stilettos. I can deal with my feet being in closed-toed shoes for the time it takes me to drive to work and walk into the office, but then I've reached my limit.)

I get a lot of comments (especially from co-workers) because I always have open-toed shoes on. And I've even acquired a nickname due to an incident that happened while I was wearing open-toed shoes. Around my building, I'm known by a certain group of people as...

Broccoli Toes.

Yes, seriously.

And not because my toes resemble broccoli, either. (They don't resemble broccoli at all, actually. Not unless broccoli's started wearing red nail polish.)

I'd only been at this company for a few months when I was given this nickname. Here's what happened. I went down to the cafeteria to get some caffeine. On my way to get a soda, I walked past the big pots of soup. As I walked past, one of the guys from pre-press was getting himself some soup, and somehow as he was ladling it into his bowl, a piece of broccoli flew out of the ladle and landed on my feet. On my toes, to be more precise.

And of course there were witnesses. Several of this guy's buddies from his department were there, and they immediately started ragging on him for throwing broccoli at my feet. And now whenever I run into this guy or his co-workers, they all greet me with "Hey, Broccoli Toes! How's it going?" And if they say this in front of anyone else, of course they want to know why I'm called Broccoli Toes. So then they get told the story too, which means there's even more people who know about my crazy nickname. I'm fairly certain most people in this building know about my nickname at this point. Sigh.

The good news is, the broccoli and the soup were easy enough to wipe off my toes, and none of it got on my open-toe stiletto heels. The bad news is, I wish I had a more charming nickname at work. Broccoli Toes is not exactly what I'd call a cute nickname. I suppose I'll just have to keep wearing really cute shoes to make up for the not-so-cute nickname!

Thanks, TEACHERWOMAN, for this amusing picture!

FOODIE FRIDAY for February 20, 2009

Thank freakin' goodness it's Friday! This week has felt so long. But the weekend is almost upon us, and until then, guess what we have to tide us over?

Buleberries!

Yes, you read that right. Buleberries. BRIDGETE, who snapped this photo at Haymarket in Boston, says: I'd really like to know what a "buleberry" is.

That makes two of us, Bridgete!

By the way, I also love the interesting "$" placement on this sign. That just looks bizarre.

Thanks, BRIDGETE, for finding this one. Happy Friday, everyone!

Some fiery errors, plus a burning question...

PETER spotted this little group of mistakes. While he notes that the mistakes don't look like much on the surface, they make him wonder about a bigger question. He says that this submission "...illustrates a widespread Web phenomenon: pages hastily posted, then left online for years, forgotten by their authors, who will never hear the snickers. You'd think that if anyone connected with the Port Washington Fire Department ever read this page, someone would get around to fixing 'How Does Utilize Modern Technology?' and other sloppy errors in the text. Some Web sites are so boring that no one, including their perpetrators, can stand to skim them, much less read them closely. But on this site there's some interesting material, including some information I was looking for. By the time someone from the fire department does get around to reading it, there may have been a lot of snickers."

I have a feeling that in several years, there's going to be so much clutter all over the internet...and a good portion of it's going to be (eek!) poorly-written clutter that will never get rewritten in a more grammatically-friendly way. What do you think?

Thanks, PETER, for finding these mistakes--and for raising this interesting question!

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for February 19, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.

I take a lot of shit for watching Lost, mainly because people keep complaining at me that they refuse to watch and/or have given up on watching it because it "makes them think too much" or it's "too confusing" or gives them "so many questions." You're kidding me, right? I'd much rather watch a show that makes me think than watch one that spoon-feeds me mediocrity and mainstream garbage. But hey, that's just me; to each his or her own, right?

I don't know which is more amusing here: the plethora of errors in the answer to this question, or the fact that Ms. Bad Speller ends her paragraph with "Some of what has been going on [in the show] lately is confusing. Even for me." Ha. Because I'd never have guessed that someone with such rotten language skills could be confused by anything...especially when it involves time-travel, smoke monsters, and other rather complex topics...

So last night on Lost... We got some answers, and we got some questions. We learned about the Lamppost, the off-island Dharma station. That's where Ms. Hawking (Faraday's mother) tried to explain to Jack, Sun, Ben, and Desmond how the island moves through space and time and how it can be found only in certain windows of time. Desmond--looking absolutely smokin' hot--stormed out, not wanting to waste any more of his life on island-related business. He'll surely be back.

The rest of the episode was devoted to the castaways (and Ben) getting back to the island. Ms. Hawking and Ben each talk to Jack and convince him he's gotta go back to the island. Ben talks religious references. Locke's suicide note follows Jack around (although I knew Locke died, I didn't suspect that Locke would actually kill himself--did you suspect that?) until he reads it. (By the way, I'm not convinced the note is from Locke. I'm thinking it might be written by Ben...to manipulate Jack into going back to the island. Ben lied and said he didn't know Locke killed himself, yet next week's previews clearly show Ben helping Locke with a noose...) What was up with Ben calling Jack "John" several times? Obviously "Jack" is a nickname for the name John, but in this episode when they were dealing with another person named John...it seemed odd. We had Jack putting Christian's shoes on John's feet so that John could be a "proxy" on the trip back to the island.

So now the whole merry band of islanders--minus Desmond--is on their way back to the island. And there's drama. Jack's bringing Locke's body on the plane. We know Kate did something with Aaron, but we don't know what and she doesn't want to talk about it. We know that it looks like Ben got the crap beaten out of him, but we don't know why or by whom. Sun's there, looking forward to hopefully seeing Jin again. We know Sayid seemed to be in someone's custody, but we don't know why. We know Hurley was on the flight, but how the hell did he find out about it? (I love how he tried buying up so many seats so that people's lives were spared!) Hurley seemed awfully surprised to see Ben on the flight. And speaking of surprises--hey, it's Lapidus, the pilot from the freighter crew from Season 4! And he takes a look around, sees all of these castaways, and realizes...hey, maybe this plane isn't going to Guam after all...

When the plane does crash, there's a flash...like a time-travel flash. Jack, Hurley, and Kate end up together (looks like Hurley landed in the little lake where Sawyer and Kate went diving for the marshal's case in Season 1...Jack helps Hurley in the water and then goes to make sure Kate, who looks pretty out of it, is OK), but they don't see the rest of the castaways...or the rest of the plane, for that matter. Where the hell did the plane and everyone else go? But hey, there's someone...on the shore...

Look, it's the Dharma bus (all shiny and new-looking)...and there's Jin! He's wearing...a Dharma uniform! And pointing a gun at the castaways! (We know where the castaways landed...but when did they land?) And from the look on Jin's face, he seems to recognize them...or does he? I guess we'll find out next week...

Speaking of next week--from the previews, it looks like Locke gets resurrected. Next week's episode looks seriously crazy...in an awesome way, of course.

What did you think of tonight's episode? What questions did this episode drum up for you? Where did Sun, Sayid, and Ben disappear to? When will we see shirtless Sawyer again? What's Locke's story? Sound off in the Comments section...

Don't forget to check out the Doc Jensen recap by clicking here. Brilliant, as always!

One more Lost-related tidbit: Have you seen the cake celebrating the 100th episode of Lost? Hat tip to EVula for spotting this on Cake Wrecks. Apparently the pictures of the cake were originally posted on Jorge Garcia's blog. (That's right, you guys--Hurley blogs! Or at least the guy who plays Hurley does.) Enjoy!

Blizzards suck, and so does this headline.

OK, one of two things is going on here:

1) The person who posted this article was being kind of an ignoramus and forgot a word in the headline. (I'm guessing the missing word should be "for.")

2) Blizzards have actually gained the ability to speak and warn area residents that bad weather's coming their way.

Unfortunately, the first choice is the most likely one. Sigh.

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for February 18, 2009

When I think bing, I think cherries. I don't think orgies. But I guess they could be related--perhaps someone's had their cherry popped at an orgy? If that happened to the dude asking this question, I wouldn't be at all surprised. He seems kind of clueless...

I do love the "best answer" to this question, though. Looks like we're not the only ones who like mocking people who ask stupid (and poorly-written) questions on Yahoo! Answers...

Happy Hump Day, everyone!

The shopaholic is stumped on this one...

Look, I'm an expert shopper, and I wouldn't have the faintest idea where to buy this "closer together" thing. Sephora didn't have any, Steve Madden had never heard of it, and Bebe was all sold out. If any of you happen to meet this guy, can you please ask him where, and for how much, he bought his family closer together? Inquiring minds want to know...

This can't possibly be right...

Those silly Yahoos are at it again! LISA, one of my radio interns from waaaaaay back in the day, spotted this little error. She says: This was a headline link that I found on Yahoo's main page. Perhaps they haven't seen any of the 50 billion commercials indicating that the switch will be to digital...or maybe they've been living under a rock and didn't know that we've been watching analog TV for the past like 75 years.

Luckily, Yahoo seems to have gotten the article itself right, as the story connected to this link was about TV stations getting ready to cut their analog signals. But that headline was certainly screwy and misleading, wasn't it?

Thanks to LISA for finding this one!

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY for February 17, 2009

Stars--they're just like us! (Well, not exactly--those of you reading this blog use good grammar. So I suppose the most accurate phrase would be "Stars--they're just like those grammatically-challenged fools we mock every day!")

This picture was sent in by JADE. She says: Apparently even Demi Moore makes grammar mistakes. Excepted? Really?

A message to Demi: If you ever see this page--no, you are not being punk'd by your husband, and yes, we really are making fun of your bad grammar.

Thanks so much to JADE for finding this one!

Anne Hathaway's a what...?

Sometimes I think people forget exactly how useful the hyphen is. See, I think there's a big difference between someone cross-dressing for a movie role (cross-dresser) and a pissed-off piece of bedroom furniture (cross dresser). Anne Hathaway is the former, not the latter...but you'd never know it from seeing that very much unhyphenated article title...

MISSPELLING MONDAY for February 16, 2009

Monday morning, back to the daily grind...ugh. But here's a fabulous Misspelling Monday post to make you giggle as you sit at your desk, sipping your coffee, trying to wake up for the work week...

This mistake was sent in by BECKY, the reigning queen of proper apostrophization. She says: I actually laughed out loud on the "T" this morning when I saw this misspelling of "money." I picture Jerry Maguire going into an art museum and yelling, "Show me the MONET!" Or how about this -- "I get the *impression* that the Metro needs a new copyeditor." The possibilities for puns are endless...

Love it! Thanks, BECKY, for sharing this amusing mistake! If you haven't checked out BECKY's fabulous blog, Apostrophe Catastrophes, you really should. Like, now. Go!

This young man is one smart cookie!

If I were a teacher, I'd be proud to have a student like Geoffrey Stanford in my class. Geoffrey was taking his state writing test, and he spotted an error on the test. He noticed that the word emission--as in "the emission of greenhouse gases"--was spelled omission.

The state of Kansas is correcting the test, which was created by more than 30 teachers. Kudos to Geoffrey for spotting the error...and it's fantastic that the state is fixing the mistake so quickly!

Click here to read the Wichita Eagle article about Geoffrey finding this error.

I feel like we're at the International House of Grammar and Spelling Errors...

PAT's been lucky enough to do some traveling, and he was kind enough to send over some of the amusing mistakes he found when he was in other countries. Like this one...



We have an agreement issue going on in that picture... But I'm actually less concerned about that than I am about the really, really long name of whatever-it-is that is being repaired! Man, if I had to spell crazy stuff like that every day, I might have to give up my spelling bee queen crown...that looks tough!

And PAT also found us this little piece of Engrish...


Ahhh, Itary. :) Is that where Itarian food comes from? Too cute!

Thanks, PAT, for finding these cute and worldly little errors!

Happy Valentine's Day from Red Pen, Inc.!

There are so many misspellings here...I don't have the inclination to count them all, especially since I'm really distracted by how funny "smidgit" looks. I'm guessing this person meant smidgen...but "smidgit" looks a hell of a lot funnier! (I'm also giggling at "lousey"...did this dude actually, like, have lice? Ewwww.)

Here's hoping your Valentine is someone way cooler than the person who posted this question, her boyfriend, and the person who answered this question! :) Have a warm and fuzzy Valentine's Day!

The Phillies' pitchers and catchers report TODAY!

Can you tell I'm excited about baseball? The Phillies' pitchers and catchers report today...spring training is just about to start...and then the regular baseball season will start! I'm ridiculously excited...as I'm sure you can tell.

KIRSTEN (who has great taste in baseball teams--she's a Twins fan! And have I mentioned how many hot and talented Twins there are...?) found this picture for us. She says: I was checking out some hot-stove baseball rumors, and when I saw the first headline on this page, I immediately thought of you. When I read it, it took me a second to figure out what they were talking about. I thought they were saying something like "them there chances" or something similarly dumb.

Haha--I'm still cracking up at "them there chances"! (And on the topic of baseball, Garciaparra's kinda cute. I wouldn't necessarily mind if my Phillies acquired him...it would be kind of fun to watch him play...)

Thanks, KIRSTEN, for spotting this funny baseball-related error!

A major league misspelling...

Here's something else that's notable: Notable only has one e, and it's at the very end of the word.

The Phillies' pitchers and catchers report TOMORROW! *squeal* Baseball season is starting again!

FOODIE FRIDAY for February 13, 2009

Yeah, I know it's the second Foodie Friday in a row about beverages, not food--but hey, it's winter where I am, and I'm addicted to hot, caffeinated beverages!

This picture comes to us from RANIELLE, who says: In the third line down, Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Dish starts his sentence, "Starbucks have discovered..." I tripped all over that while reading. Ouch. Okay, it's still bugging me...

That's bugging me, too--but I'm also curious as to what exactly this "cup of cha" is (in the same line as "Starbucks have..."). Did the writer mean chai? That's the only thing I can think of...

Thanks, RANIELLE, for finding this one! Happy Friday, everyone!

I know what this person's afraid of...

...He's afraid of the dictionary! See, if he weren't so scared of the damn dictionary, he'd have known by tryin' to look it up that there isn't a word spelled like triskadekaphobia. It's totally triskaidekaphobia. Duh!

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! Don't forget to throw a pinch of salt over your shoulder...and watch out for Basement Cat! I hear sometimes he brings bad luck... ;)

I guess that's just Facebook being Facebook...

Oh, Facebook, your silly little ads continue to make me want to scream. You want us to take an IQ test, yet you can't even create an ad without making an apostrophe catastrophe!

I'm pretty sure that you, or I, or even Manny himself, would beat this ad writer in an IQ test. Just a hunch.

The Phillies' pitchers and catchers report in 2 days! *squeal* In just 2 more days I'll have an excuse to talk about Cole Hamels again!

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for February 12, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.

OK, I have two issues with this question/answer:

1) I just re-watched a couple episodes of season 3. I've recently seen a bullet get taken out of Sayid's arm, and I've seen Ben undergo spinal surgery and bleed like crazy. These are not violent gory moments, of course, but they still made me wince and turn away from the TV. So just in case anyone's not clear--yeah, there's blood on Lost. And sometimes it gets gross.

2) Whimpy and gorey really made me giggle.

So last night on Lost... So many people seem to be contradicting one another (or themselves). Ben's acting like he's a savior; Christian asks Locke, "Since when did listening to [Ben] ever get you anywhere good?" Jin not wanting Sun to come back to the island...while Sun, of course, wanted to go back to see him. The uber-loyal Sayid...walking away from his friends (well, Jack, and...can you call Ben one of Sayid's friends?) and not wanting to see them again? (I'm also surprised that Kate just took off like that, knowing this was a chance to go back to the island and help Sawyer...)

We saw some crazy shit go down on the island. We went back in time to witness Rousseau kill her crew after they had a little too close of an encounter with the smoke monster...and then she almost got Jin (saved by the flash!). We saw Charlotte die...after she confessed to Faraday that she had indeed been on the island before...and, not only that, but that some "crazy guy" told her to never come back to the island or else she'd die...and she suspected that person was Faraday himself! (Is anyone else curious now about Charlotte's mother? I find it interesting that she pretended the island never existed whenever Charlotte mentioned it to her...) We saw Jin speak way more/way better English than I thought he was capable of speaking (I didn't think his English skills were nearly as good in other episodes), we saw Juliet being the only one polite enough to thank Locke for what he was doing, and we saw that bastard Christian make Locke drag his injured self over to that big-ass wheel and turn it.

Funniest line of the night comes from Miles: "What are you looking at me for? He speaks Korean. I'm from Encino!" Now that Charlotte's gone, who the hell is gonna translate for Jin? Also: I thought it was brave/sweet of Jin to pretend he's dead so Sun wouldn't come back. I don't think that's gonna work too well, though, since Sun, Jack, and Desmond accompanied Ben to the church where Mrs. Hawking hangs out, and it looks like they're on their way back to the island...

So many questions...and most importantly, what's this all leading up to? Was anyone else a little creeped out by Charlotte's "This place is death!" revelation? We didn't really see Hurley this episode; what's gonna happen with him? What happens to Locke once he turns that wheel? Where does he end up, what does he do there, and how does he die?

Plus--if the time-travel sickness happens as a result of prolonged exposure to the island--and if what Charlotte said was true, she had actually met Faraday on the island before--which means that Faraday, too, would have had prolonged exposure to the island--WHY IS HE NOT GETTING THE TIME-TRAVEL SICKNESS? So far he and Locke (and now Jin) are the only ones out of that bunch to NOT have had nosebleeds...

Did you watch last night? What did you think? Talk to me in the Comments section!

Also: Don't forget to check out this week's Doc Jensen article. That man is brilliant--seriously brilliant.

Despite the awkward-sounding text on the package, this product is actually pretty cool...

So the fine folks over at Fuel My Blog sent me this fun product to try out and review. It's been a long time since I reviewed any products, so this will be a fun little adventure, now won't it? They wanted me to be honest about the product and my experience with it, so here goes...

Smooth Away is a hair removal product that doesn't involve any razors or messy creams--instead, it buffs away the hair. This is a good thing. See, I'm Polish. And I'm a sorority girl. Sharp objects and/or creams that sting can often be a recipe for disaster. I nick myself shaving quite often, and I've given myself chemical burns from depilatory creams before. So I was pretty intrigued to try Smooth Away, since it seemed more or less klutz-proof.

Before I get into my experience with this product and the pros and cons of this product, scroll up and look at the box. Do you see anything awkward on that box? I do. "Removes Hair Instantly & Pain Free." Wouldn't "Removes hair instantly and painlessly" work better? As is, it sounds really strange...

But--oh, yeah, the product itself. I was right about it being klutz-proof, but it also happens to be skinny girl-proof, to some degree. I decided to be brave and try to remove the fine hair on my arms. (People think I'm nuts for doing this because it's barely noticeable, but I'm REALLY fussy, so I do it anyway. I'm crazy like that.) But here's the thing. The Smooth Away pads--which you then rub on your skin to buff the hair away--come in two different sizes. As you can see above, one is big and one is tiny. And I have astoundingly skinny arms. (Hell, one of my nicknames is Nik the Stick.) So I had a dilemma: Which size do I use? Since I'm lazy and thought the bigger one would work faster, I tried that one first. The pad was way too wide for my arm, though, and so it was tough to use. I switched to the skinny one. That just took for-freakin'-EVER. I felt like Goldilocks.

But that wasn't the end of the problems regarding my stickishness and the Smooth Away pads. See, I have no muscles. At all. (For being so skinny, I am horrendously out of shape.) The Smooth Away instructions said to use a "gentle touch"...but this thing took some muscle power to use. You have to RUB and get some friction going. That's how the hair comes off--you're buffing it away. But I had to rub HARD. And, as I mentioned, I have no muscles. So I actually had to stop and take a little break and then start buffing again. I know, I know--I'm pathetic.

But despite the fact that Smooth Away was a little difficult for me to use, I'm pretty pleased with the results. I used it two weeks ago, and the arm hair has grown back in a little bit, but it didn't come back stubbly or gross. My skin didn't itch or burn at all after I used the product, either. Smooth Away comes with a moisturizer to use after you've used the Smooth Away pads, and that moisturizer is definitely helpful (it's a "hair inhibitor" too, so it helps your hair not grow back as quickly). Plus, I managed to not maim myself in the process of using Smooth Away--that in itself is an achievement. I'll definitely use the product again, although I'm hoping that the second time I use it, it'll be a little easier to use. Maybe I'll have built up a few muscles by then! :)

For more info on Smooth Away, click here and here. Or, if you are curious about the product and have any questions for me regarding my experience using it, e-mail me or leave a comment.

Another post about shoes? Well, not exactly...

This picture comes to us from the fabulous ChicagoLady! She says: A little background on this picture. I have an interest in the American Civil War, have many books about it, and have subscriptions to two magazines about it. One is a more recent subscription that my aunt bought for me. I thought it would be nice to have the two and I could see if I preferred one over the other. However, this new subscription is driving me bonkers! In every edition, in every article there is at LEAST one grammar error. I have told my aunt not to renew it, because the errors make it very difficult for me to actually read the entire magazine. As boring as it would be, I would love to send you an entire magazine so you can see how terrible it is. But, I will spare you from it. Instead, I scanned a picture and caption from the magazine to give you an idea of the awfulness that is this magazine. I cannot wait until the subscription is done this summer.

Now, I'm the kind of girl who usually enjoys talking about shoes, but...this author doesn't mean to talk about shoes here! He meant to use the word shows. Sigh. Now I can see why ChicagoLady gets frustrated with this magazine!

Thanks, ChicagoLady, for spotting this one!

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for February 11, 2009

Last week, we talked about "spree decor." Just in case you haven't had your fill of common foreign phrases that silly Americans sometimes screw up, here's another one. I'm not sure what's funnier--that the person spelled it "menage a twa" or that she thought it had something to do with...Monopoly! Hahahaha.

I'm thinkin' if you're gonna compare this to a game, it should really be compared to Twister...what do you guys think?

Happy Hump Day, everyone!

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY for February 9, 2009

Wow--courtesy of JADE, we really do have an actual to/too mistake for TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY! This one makes me wanna cry, though. I like Vera Bradley stuff, and I always get sad when my favorite brands/products have been attacked by writers with bad grammar skills. This bag is really cute...the homonym error, though? Not so much!

Thanks, JADE, for finding this one!

No more *what*...?

Nice sentiment, poor execution... I agree that Ms. Suleman shouldn't have any more babies (she already has 14--yikes!), but if I were to make a sign about it, I'd have it say "No more babies."

And am I the only one who giggles when she hears the word "octuplets"? For some reason, I picture a fleet of little baby octopuses (or octopodes--whichever you prefer) when I think of "octuplets." :)

Oh, are they now...?

b13 spotted this error for us. This is a pretty funny instance of how silly it looks when there's a word missing in a sentence. Instead of the Senate doing something (like voting on, or whatever) to or with the economic stimulus bill, this sentence insinuates that the Senate actually is the stimulus bill.

Thanks for finding this one, b13! If you're a fan of excellent photography, check out b13fotographica for some truly awesome photographs!

A local error...

This one comes to us from BETSY, who lives on the same little island that I live on. She gets similarly tweeged about crappy writing, and she was kind enough to snap a picture of this sign that she saw in a town not too far from where I live.

Are they actually referring to Long Island or just some sort of imitation LI called "Long Island"? Same deal with the "USA" over there in the corner of the sign...

Thanks, BETSY, for spotting this!