Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Apparently boobyliciousness inspires stupidity...


So I've made a rather startling revelation this morning:

The girls look really good today.

Ladies, you know what I'm talkin' about. I'm having a seriously boobylicious day. This is unusual for me, as I'm petite and skinny. I don't have a lot of boobylicious days. But today is a rare exception. I've been noticing all morning that I've been getting looks...you know the kind. And I finally figured out why once I looked down and was like, "Well, hey there, cleavage. How you doin'?"

So I'm going to assume that's why the people at the auto glass place I went to this morning acted like total morons.

The auto glass place whose spelling I'm mocking above is not the place I went to this morning, but they're just as much of idiots. If you're in the windshield replacement business and you can't spell windshield replacement, you obviously suck. But I digress.

So I went to get a new windshield this morning. I was in and out in an hour, and everything seemed fine. But then halfway to work, I realized I had a problem. I tried to use my windshield wipers to get the road salt off my pretty new windshield, and they just...wouldn't...go.

So there I sat in traffic, with a bunch of windshield washing fluid on the windshield, not being able to see worth shit, and somehow managed to turn the car around and go back to the auto glass place...

...where it took two guys to figure out that they'd put the wipers back on upside down. Or reversed. Or something. I'm still not 100% clear on exactly how they screwed it up. But I know they had to take both wipers off the car and put them in different positions before the wipers started working properly again.

I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt here and blame the boobs. I'm really hoping these auto glass people are not this stupid on a regular basis and that the stupidity only shows up when there's a nice rack present.

So if any New Yorkers who are male or flat-chested need an auto glass place recommendation, hit me up and I'll get you their info. Fellow boobylicious ladies? You may want to choose another place to go.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll enjoy the attention that a day of boobyliciousness gets me. If I see you around today, I won't even hold it against you if you look down there as opposed to looking me in the eyes!

13 comments:

mama grammarphile said...

So, I take it you are having a better day than you did yesterday? lol

Love you.

EVula said...

I love that you were still able to post a relevant image along with the story about the ladies. :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Mama Grammarphile: Once the damn wipers got fixed, my day started looking up. ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ EVula: LOL, I'm proud of myself for being able to tie the relevant image in to the boob/windshield wiper story. Especially since I've been up since o'dark thirty and I don't have my normal amount of wits about me since I'm all tired and stuff.

John Z said...

PICTURES OR IT DIDN"T HAPPEN!!!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Well, now that the windshield wipers are properly oriented and functioning just fine, it wouldn't make for a very exciting picture. ;)

Gomez said...

As an auto glass professional, I have to tell you that this post has me laughing. Wipers just are not that hard to get right.

I AM concerned that you were only there for an hour. You should call them back and ask them what the SDAT (safe drive away time) is for the adhesive they used on your car. Usually, the car has to sit there, after the repair, for at least an hour before you drive it. Anything else and the seal won't fully cure, and that's a bad thing. Of course, all adhesives have their own SDAT, so you'll have to ask them.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, Gomez! Thanks for the advice. They actually didn't tell me anything about the SDAT. They handed me paperwork that referred to it, but nowhere on it did it list what the SDAT actually is. Luckily I only had to drive about 20 minutes to work, and so now the car will be sitting there without being driven for a solid 8-9 hours. I'm hoping that they wouldn't have given me the car back until it was safe to drive, but then again, they were totally boneheaded about the windshield wipers, so...you never know. This was a pretty well-known auto glass company, though...I'm kinda surprised they didn't act more knowledgeable. All they told me was to not wash the car for 24 hours.

Of course, if they did give me back my car too soon, I've already driven it...so I don't know quite what to do about that...

Gomez said...

All you can do at this point is be very aware of what's going on the next time it rains. If water gets in the car, that's probably why, and they'll need to install another windshield to fix it.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Thanks, Gomez--I'll be sure to keep an eye out for any water in the car! I really appreciate the heads-up! Too bad the folks who fixed my windshield today are not as detail-oriented as you apparently are!

Rob said...

I suspect that John Z was actually hoping for pictures of your boobyliciousness. ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I'm already amsued by the increase in hits to this site because I included "boobylicious" in the title of a post and everyone's gotten all excited and clicked on the post. I can only imagine how many more hits I'd get if I added the words "...with pictures!" to the title! :)

Gomez said...

Well I found your blog because I have a feed search for auto glass... it's the business I'm in. :)

Good luck!