Wednesday, May 6, 2009

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for May 6, 2009


OK, guys, get your "And this one time, at band camp..." jokes ready...

I get the point they're trying to convey...but they couldn't come up with a better headline than this? Really? The way they've written it, it sounds like the poor girl is jerking off the muggers...and, um, how's/
where's that baton being used?

I'm pretty sure this would have been a much more wholesome headline if they had said "fends" or "scares" instead of "beats." Do you think the folks who wrote this were completely oblivious to how perverted it looked, or do you think they're snickering because they wrote something that could be interpreted in a perverted way? (Or, a third option--is this headline just fine, but the problem is that all of us have twisted minds and our thoughts are frequently in the gutter?)

Happy Hump Day, kiddos!

15 comments:

Bridgete said...

Hahahahahaha! This is great. =)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Glad you enjoyed it! I laughed SO HARD the other day when I found this crazy headline...I knew it would make for a fantastic Hump Day post! :)

tobwot said...

To be fair, the use of 'beats' more accurately represents the fact that she did use the baton as a weapon; 'fends' or 'scares' would have diluted the level of 'truthiness' in the headline.

That said... NOBODY who gets paid to write news copy is likely to be unaware of the alternative usage. I'm positive that copy room had more snickers than a candy store.

Leaving aside for a moment the headline's correctness or lack thereof, though... we're talking about a marching band kid getting the better of a fight with two muggers. This is AWESOME taken to a whole new level.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, tobwot! :)

I agree--use of words other than "beats" would have been a little misleading. If I were in that writer's shoes, though, I'd have sacrificed meaning for copy that didn't elicit giggles. ;)

"More snickers than a candy store"...I love it! ("More Snickers than a candy store would also have been appropriate here...haha!)

And yeah, I agree--hooray for the band kid that defended herself against two muggers! That IS awesome. :)

Erika said...

Oh they KNOW how it could be interpreted. I have to say, I like their way of thinking.

Did you see the last headline "Alaska man shoved officer to join brother in jail"...it's like the plot of Prison Break, but probably with fewer hot guys.

Bridgete said...

Well, they could have resolved the issue that tobwot brought up by simply saying "Girl fends off muggers by beating them with marching band baton."

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Erika: That's what I figured. Those pervs!

(As if I have any room to talk. My mind is always in the gutter. At least on Wednesdays, anyway...)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bridgete: That's an excellent way to rewrite the headline--it's accurate and non-perverted! :)

Dave said...

The final part of this headline should read 'Spectators give her a hand for the job well done'

HAHAHA

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Dave: Hahahaha...that's freakin' HILARIOUS! :)

LadyStyx said...

Too funny. *laffin* @ Dave's comment.

ChicagoLady said...

The sentence is just fine, ya'll have twisted minds that spend way too much time in the gutter.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Who, us? With twisted minds? No way! ;)

Leanne said...

ahhhahahahaha! I can't believe I missed this one, it is great! I freakin' love it.
:)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Glad you were able to catch up on blog posts and get some LOLs outta this one! :)