Wednesday, May 27, 2009

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for May 27, 2009

So last night I was on the phone with MAMA GRAMMARPHILE, who is not only the best mom ever, but also Red Pen Inc.'s most avid reader/fan (I've posted 975 entries on this crazy website, and I'm certain she's read every single one of them...told you she's the best mom ever!).

Anyway, since she knew today was Hump Day, she jokingly told me to keep the Hump Day Grammar post clean. And so smartass little me got to thinking... Is it possible for me to do a Hump Day Grammar post that's actually clean?

Why, yes, Yes, it is possible.

Usually when I'm searching for Hump Day Grammar material, I look for the funniest/dirtiest things available. This time, though, I looked for something clean to mock.

Clean like, you know, soap...



It's almost like this item was tailor-made for a clean Hump Day Grammar post. Yep, I found us some Sex Soap!

I have no idea what this "BE - WEAR" nonsense is. I know the soap is made in New Zealand. Is "BE - WEAR" some sort of meaningful phrase there? Does anybody know?

Also on the "does anybody know?" note, exactly how can soap be considerate? How can sex be knowing? And exactly which endangered (not endagered!) species or animal is this soap not made from (the person who wrote this indicated it was just one animal or species, but not which one it actually was)?

Happy Hump Day, everyone. Be sure to wash behind your ears, and make sure there's no lint in your bellybuttons! :)

Special thanks to MAMA GRAMMARPHILE, whose tongue-in-cheek "clean" comment inspired this post!

14 comments:

mama grammarphile said...

Gee, thanks for keeping it *clean* for me today. lol
Love you.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha, glad you enjoyed it! Love you too, Mom! :)

Bridgete said...

I feel like the be-wear was supposed to be a play on words, but since you don't wear soap, it doesn't work...

Anyway, thanks for the good, *clean* fun! ;)

Dave said...

But what happens if it dissolves before your done with it? Does that mean they owe you a refund? What if its not everything you've always wanted and more?...ewww.
I feel like this product would make the best commercial EVER.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bridgete: Yeah, I also figured it was some sort of pun, but it just didn't seem to make sense...

Glad you enjoyed the good, clean fun! :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Dave: The commercial associated with this product would have to be hilarious. :)

michael said...

I think they were going for "be the fragrance, wear the fragrance," so it should have been be/wear in stead of be-wear. It still sounds really weird, but it's a pitch for sex soap - people aren't looking to by it because of the wonderful grammar in the description!

What disturbed me, though, was the fact that this soap is PAINTED IN GOLD LEAF. Ow? Sure gold is a soft metal, but that doesn't mean I want to rub myself with it.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

What, you mean you don't think they intended for us to BE-WEAR (beware?) the sex soap? LOL!

I have seen products for sale in Sephora that have gold leaf in them, and I'm pretty sure there's some sort of alcohol that had gold leaf particles in it. Apparently it's not dangerous to drink or rub on yourself, so hey, why not put it in sex soap? :)

michael said...

Oh, I forgot about Schnapps! Still, I can think of better uses for gold than sex and alcohol. Though not many.

bonnie said...

BE-WEAR sounds like some sort of horror film tag line. Silly sex soap sellers!

Anna said...

The author of this advertisement was indicating that the musk used in the soap did not come from the musk deer, which is an endangered animal.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Michael: Ha! Yeah, for me, jewelry springs to mind first as the most logical use for this gold. Not soap. But I do have to say I'm fascinated by the alcohol (is it Goldschlager? Is that the right name?) with the floating gold leaf in it... :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bonnie: Hahaha! Yeah, you're right! Silly, indeed. :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Anna: Well, tht's interesting--I'd never known there was such a creature as a "musk deer"! Thanks for the clarification! :)