Sunday, May 10, 2009

"Excuse me, sir? Can you please put that shop back where you found it? Thanks."


JOHN was apparently out at some place whose sign-writers don't understand that shoplifting and shop lifting are two very different things. Shoplifting is a very sneaky activity. The same is not true for shop lifting, as I'm pretty sure lots of people would notice if you just, like, picked up the entire store, put it on your back, and started walking down the street with it. (Also--how do they not know that in this context, videotaped should be one word, not two? Sigh.)

I want to take a moment to say happy birthday to JOHN! He's one of my closest friends, which means he knows me well enough to know that every time I start off a sentence with the phrase "Well, here's the thing...", I'm about to say something that nobody really wants to hear details about, haha. He's heard the gory details of the vast majority of my crazy stories, has been dragged into girly stores like Lush and still doesn't mind hanging out with me, and has put up with listening to lots of ramblings about my Joe Mauer/Justin Morneau/Josh Hamilton-related lust. JOHN puts up with my quirkiness (and I pretty much corner the market on quirky), and I'm very grateful for that. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a friend like him! So happy birthday, JOHN--have a fabulous day. You deserve it!

10 comments:

Bridgete said...

Okay, I know I've said "I want the whole store," but that's not exactly what I meant at the time.

Lisa Warren said...

Is it sad that I find this much less offensive than many other posts? The bar is apparently so low that this kind of thing no longer bothers me. Sigh.

John said...

Trust me, you didn't want this Exxon.

LadyStyx said...

Happy Birthday John!!

So many "lovely" errors in that sign.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bridgete: I have said the same thing--many times--and that's not what I meant, either! :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Lisa: Indeed, that IS sad!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ John: I'll take your word for that!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ LadyStyx: Your kitty picture keeps getting cuter and cuter! No longer is Dharma wearing the "You've gotta be effin' kidding me" look--now it's the "ooh, look, an ICE CREAM CONE!!!" face! :)

Borat Sagdiyev said...

Shop lifting is most serious crime, punishable by Khazak law. Repeat offenders is subject to crushings....Great Success!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Thanks for the PSA, Borat! :)