Thursday, March 26, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for March 26, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.


This Lost-related error comes from MAGGIE. This is a particularly irksome error since, despite the fact that our beloved James "Sawyer" Ford (or LaFleur, as he's known to his Dharma pals) is kind of a redneck, we know that if he wrote the term y'all, he'd have properly apostrophized it. How do we know that? Well, because he's effin' awesome, that's why. So there. :)

So. Tonight's episode. For the first 55 minutes, I was all like, "Ho-hum. When's something gonna happen?"

And then, bang! Something did happen. Sayid shot Little Ben!

So, dear readers, I'm thinking Sayid did this because he figured that he could change the past, and if he killed Ben before Ben killed anyone else, then lots of lives could be spared...right?

(But let's face it, Big Ben is obviously still running around in present-day time. So yeah, Sayid shot Little Ben...but what did that really accomplish?)

Hasn't a certain adorkable (and no, that's not a typo) Mr. Faraday has said before that you can't change the past...?

So can you or can't you change the past? And if you can change the past, then what happens to the future? Some sort of wrinkle in time happens, perhaps?

Speaking of wrinkles in time, didn't a lot of things about this episode seem eerily familiar? Such as how Ilana seemed very Ana Lucia-like in her scene with Sawyer and the boots...the Dharma dude who was the torturer seeming just as composed as out favorite Iraqi ex-torturer...there were other things, too, but I'm having trouble recalling them right now (can you think of any others?)...

And who lit the damn Dharma bus on fire and rammed it into the house? Why did that person do that?

What's your take on this episode? Sound off in the Comments section!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am happiest with character building episodes so I was pretty content last night. Especially since that character was none other than Sayid. God. I love that man. Even after he shot little Ben. That scene did make me sad though because little Ben had it rough and I would have rather seen Sayid try to nurture this boy into becoming something better than what he knows he becomes. Has he changed the past by shooting Ben? It's possible, I suppose, but I'm not buying it. I think we'll soon discover that little Ben does not die and it is the very act of being shot by Sayid that turns him into the monster we hate to love.

I'm pretty certain it was Ben that set the van on fire, to cause the diversion that he planned to use to set Sayid free.

And how hot was that scene with Sayid and the woman when he's taking off her boots... until she kicked him in the face, that is.

-April

BananaBomb said...

I've been reading this column for a few weeks and I think it and your blog are excellent.

I think little Ben started the van on fire, mainly to create a diversion in order to spring Sayid from the jail cell.

I also think I'm not liking 1977 Sawyer very much. Someone explain to me why a radar guy and model-builder is suggesting punishment for a prisoner. Why is the Head of Security, LaFleur, not overriding this?

And, after last night, I think I like him with Juliet better than with Kate. I still don't like Juliet, but she's tamed him down some.

MarieC said...

Just like Locke didn't die when Ben shot him and he fell into the open grave of the Dharmaites, I don't think Little Ben will really die, either, because the island isn't done with him yet. I also think Little Ben is the one who set the bus on fire to cause a diversion so he could free Sayid.

Ranielle said...

"A twelve-year-old Ben Linus brought me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I feel?"

Best. Line. Ever.

Anyone else getting irked by the amount of time they seem to be wasting with re-cap flashbacks that don't really seem to be revealing anything new? Did we really need to go back to the moment when Sayid told Ben (at Sun's gunpoint at the time) to suck it? You showed us why the guy had even more reason to hate the killer he killed for, GET ON WITH IT!

Missing, missing, missing Faraday. Seriously. The guy could've built a time machine by now. (Although I got from Sawyer's line about the burning bus that the re-arrivals had only been around for a day. As if the time travel and flashbacks didn't eff with my understanding of time on the show, I can never keep track of how much "real time" has passed to save my life.)

Sayid shot Harry Potter! Er, I mean, Little Ben. BUT no one checked that kid's pulse and declared him dead. And it wasn't a head shot. I fully expect him to sit up gasping for breath like some psycho killer in a horror movie jumping up for one last scare. And if he is dead in 1977, does 2007 Ben just pop out of existence?

I was grateful for a Sayid episode. A) Because he's hot. B) Because he's one of the more interesting/intricate characters. C) Did I mention he's hot? And I know that's not Naveen Andrews' real accent, but it's hot, too.

However, except for the end, I agree that once I recovered from the shock, it was a little ho-hum. It's got to get rapidly crazy from here on out, right?

Ranielle said...

A couple of other things:

The burning bus -- that was all Little Ben, I'm supposing, in order to provide a distraction to break Sayid out.

There's a lot of discussion over at "Totally Lost" about how Ben was supposed to die so that he could become an Other, if the fact that they never seem to age is any indication of their being stuck in a spirit-like existence (see: Richard, Christian, and possibly now Locke). However, THEY DON'T AGE. If young Ben became an Other by dying (murdered by Sayid because the Island abhors suicide), wouldn't he stay young Ben forever? How would he grow up into the googly-eyed psycho we know and loathe?

Still pondering.

Persnickety Ticker said...

"And how lit the damn Dharma bus on fire and rammed it into the house? Why did that person do that?"

Scratching my head on this one. Did you mean how was the bus lit on fire? Or WHO lit the bus on fire?

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Just a quick note to let y'all (apostrophized correctly!) know that I'll be responding to all Lost-related comments later this afternoon/early evening. I'm booked up in meetings all day (ugh) and want to give each comment the attention it deserves! :) I'll be back later on today to chat about all things Lost-related!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ April: I like Sayid episodes, too. I think he looks best with his hair straight-ish.
I thought Ilana was very Ana Lucia-ish in that scene...I could see Ana Lucia doing something like that. She was tricky, too (sleeping with Sawyer so she could steal his gun)...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ BananaBomb: Thanks for the kind words! :) I hope you keep enjoying these posts.

I'm guessing LaFleur was scared and didn't want to have the real Dharma folks cast suspicion on him for taking it too easy on "The Hostile."

I'm not fond of Juliet this season. She's an interesting character who really needs more to do in season 5. I did like the exchange between her and Kate, though, when they were at the garage.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ MarieC: Yeah, the island won't be done with Ben for at least 30 more years, right? :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Ranielle: I agree! That was an AWESOME line. :)

If Sayid wasn't so sexy, I'd probably be annoyed about the flashbacks, too.

I'm missing Faraday, too. Where the hell IS he?

I think Little Ben looks like American Idol-era Clay Aiken.

The previews for next week's episode look pretty crazy--more exciting than this week's episode, I'm thinkin'.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Persnickety: Good eyes! Fixed now, and thank you very much! :)