Wednesday, March 11, 2009

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for March 11, 2009

Every time I run out of Hump Day Grammar material and need to find something suitable rather quickly, I always turn to that ever-faithful fountain of stupidity and ignorance known as Yahoo Answers. I know it's very much a barrel with a whole school of grammatically inferior fish swimming in it, but hey, if it's late and I need a post, I'll totally shoot!

So I'm not sure which is funnier--this dude's crazy misspelling of "gonorrhea" or his terrible made-up word. The latter reminds me of one of my favorite Homer Simpson quotes ("Me fail English? That's unpossible!"), and the former...just reminds me of why I think it would be a really good idea for somebody to pass a law that mandates that only people above a certain IQ are allowed to engage in sexual activity with another human being. I'm not basing my opinion of the guy's intelligence (or lack thereof) just on his spelling skills, either. It's also the fact that he thought he could catch an STD from a sex toy and that he gave us entirely too many details about the aforementioned sex toy that make me deem him unworthy of participating in any activity with anyone, ever, that could involve knocking someone up and creating a baby that could carry its father's intelligence (or lack thereof) genes.

He can keep having fun with his rubber female vagina (as opposed to what--a rubber male vagina?), of course. He can bang that all he wants, 'cause it can't have his babies. And thank freakin' goodness for that.

Happy Hump Day, everyone! (While your hump buddies don't need to be Mensa members or Harvard professors, please try to at least avoid the ones who spell/talk/write like this Yahoo does!)

16 comments:

Carlos said...

Funny post. I love Yahoo Answers! Thanks for the laugh!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Glad you enjoyed it, Carlos! I had a couple good laughs during my search for material for this post...Yahoo Answers never fails to amuse me! :)

Anonymous said...

I love how this guy is so clueless he'd rather post something extremely personal (ok we don't really need to know that you store your vagina in a sock under the sink, man) than assume the woman he was with is the reason he has an STD. In denial much?

-April

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Not only is he in denial about his STD, but all of us just got a serious case of TMI after reading his question!

The Girl Next Door said...

When I was feeling less than stellar about myself, my husband would point to someone like this and say, "This is your competition. Babe you have it made...." Hilarious. (I never comment b/c I am so afraid I will leave a grammar faux pas and be your next post! and my spelling? Sux. Today I have courage)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha! That's too funny. :)

Never be afraid to comment here--everyone's friendly, even me (even though I totally come off as Queen Grammar Bitch sometimes). ;) And it's VERY rare for me to give people crap about their comments (and only happens if the person's being an extreme wise-ass, haha). I promise I won't use your comment as my next post! I'm glad you had courage today. :)

Bridgete said...

@The Girl Next Door: It's true, she doesn't use comments as fodder for her next post. I know I've posted an apostrophe catastrophe in a comment because I saw it later and thought, "that's not right." So, don't worry.

Now, regarding this post...I am frequently amazed at the level of personal detail people are willing to get into just because of the supposed "anonymity" online. But then I remember that many people seem to think they're invisible when they're in their car and will sit there picking their nose at a red light. So, I guess talking about the vagina you keep in a sock under the sink is not too far off.

Dave said...

HAHAHA - Its all about him inconspicuously referring to his 'male area' after admitting to boning a rubber vagina. I wholeheartedly agree that this is a person who should be forcibly sterilized....in the most painful way possible...

LadyStyx said...

Personally, I'd like for them to put an IQ restriction on those allowed to write in to Yahoo Answers. Ya know, something at least in double digits....

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bridgete: At the last radio station where I worked, the country studio's window faced the parking lot. The jocks were always peeking out the window to see whose spouse or kid waited in the car, picking his or her nose, while their parent/spouse/whatever came into the radio station to pick up a prize. According to the jocks, the nose-picking happened *frighteningly* often.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Dave: LOL. Agreed!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ LadyStyx: Yeah, that would be an awesome feature to add to Yahoo Answers. The only problem with that is that I'd actually have to work harder at finding material for this blog. ;)

Yvie said...

Really, my favorite part is that he feels the need to add in where he keeps it. So that no one thinks he's some weirdo improperly storing his fake cooch. It couldn't have gotten an STD! I'm keeping it in a sock under the sink!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Yvie: Hahaha! Well hey, if anyone was looking to break into his house and steal his little toy, now we ALL know where he keeps it... (Kidding, of course, since I don't think any sane person wants to touch that with a ten-foot pole. Or maybe a thousand-foot pole.)

ChicagoLady said...

He sounds like a sex-crazed 16 year old. I'm hoping he won't procreate until he gets some "edukashun".

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

"Edukashun"! I love it! I guess that's what the LOLcats teach, right? :)