Friday, February 20, 2009

Let's talk about shoes...


I love this photo from TEACHERWOMAN. I mean, I hate it (because it makes me want to scream), but I love it (because it's written so badly that it's hilarious).

I also love this sign because it promotes purchasing/wearing sandals. One really odd thing about me is that pretty much year-round, I wear open-toed shoes--sandals, stilettos, etc. (When it snows, I wear boots into work and then as soon as I sit down at my desk, I change into stilettos. I can deal with my feet being in closed-toed shoes for the time it takes me to drive to work and walk into the office, but then I've reached my limit.)

I get a lot of comments (especially from co-workers) because I always have open-toed shoes on. And I've even acquired a nickname due to an incident that happened while I was wearing open-toed shoes. Around my building, I'm known by a certain group of people as...

Broccoli Toes.

Yes, seriously.

And not because my toes resemble broccoli, either. (They don't resemble broccoli at all, actually. Not unless broccoli's started wearing red nail polish.)

I'd only been at this company for a few months when I was given this nickname. Here's what happened. I went down to the cafeteria to get some caffeine. On my way to get a soda, I walked past the big pots of soup. As I walked past, one of the guys from pre-press was getting himself some soup, and somehow as he was ladling it into his bowl, a piece of broccoli flew out of the ladle and landed on my feet. On my toes, to be more precise.

And of course there were witnesses. Several of this guy's buddies from his department were there, and they immediately started ragging on him for throwing broccoli at my feet. And now whenever I run into this guy or his co-workers, they all greet me with "Hey, Broccoli Toes! How's it going?" And if they say this in front of anyone else, of course they want to know why I'm called Broccoli Toes. So then they get told the story too, which means there's even more people who know about my crazy nickname. I'm fairly certain most people in this building know about my nickname at this point. Sigh.

The good news is, the broccoli and the soup were easy enough to wipe off my toes, and none of it got on my open-toe stiletto heels. The bad news is, I wish I had a more charming nickname at work. Broccoli Toes is not exactly what I'd call a cute nickname. I suppose I'll just have to keep wearing really cute shoes to make up for the not-so-cute nickname!

Thanks, TEACHERWOMAN, for this amusing picture!

18 comments:

Robin said...

So... um... I get the homonym and apostrophe issues. But, for those of us who aren't aspiring Carrie Bradshaws (and I'm a little sad that I even know the character's name), what should the brand name be?

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I don't know anything about the brand name except that I suspect it shouldn't be apostrophized. ;)

Bridgete said...

Haha, that's a great story.

I also prefer open-toed shoes...but I'll still wear season-appropriate shoes as necessary. ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Thanks, Bridgete. :) And I'm glad I'm not the only one crazy enough to prefer wearing open-toed shoes as often as possible! (I hate having my toes/feet feel closed in, and nobody else seems to understand my foot-related claustrophobia issues...)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I relate to the foot claustrophobia issues. Open-toed shoes are small help in that department, though. I truly start to twitch when my feet are inside of any shoe longer than a few hours. Tennis shoes are a nightmare. I'd rather wear spiky-heeled sandals than tennis shoes anywhere because at least my feet aren't being smothered in those. And, well, they just look better. Win, win. So relieved that I am not alone. :)

-April

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

April, I completely understand. I have three pairs of sneakers...I can't remember the last time I wore any of them. Even when I go walking or work out, I wear flip-flops (they're not stiletto heels, of course, but they're much comfier than sneakers). :)

But you're right, spiky heels are absolutely the best option when it comes to shoes!

Brian said...

It's scary isn't it? That the accuracy of a simple kitchen utensil can mean the difference between being known at work as "Broccoli Toes" or "Broccoli Puss."

I got called a lot of names at one of my jobs for wearing open toe stilettos.

Some people just don't understand what a pair of Manolo Blahniks' can do for you on a hard day at the office.

Peter said...

Thanks for the amusing anecdote. I'm adding it to my Well, at Least list -- things to be thankful for in a horrible economy. The workforce has been reduced drastically, but at least there are fewer creeps trying to get your attention by throwing broccoli at you.

LadyStyx said...

My sneakers are a necessity... but I dont like them (and I HATE any other type of shoe so sneaks are a compromise ONLY). I'd much rather be running around completely barefoot. As soon as I get home (and after my excerbike ride), shoes and socks come OFF!!

Sasha said...

Thank you for telling us this story. Now everybody on the internet will know your nickname, Broccoli Toes ;-)

Crane said...

In the second paragraph of your 'Broccoli Toes' anecdote, you say "Not unless broccoli's started wearing red nail polish." The plural of 'broccoli' is, in fact, 'broccoli', and even if it weren't ... oh.

I just realized that it's "...broccoli has started".

I do this a lot.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Brian: Gee, I never thought to actually feel fortunate that the broccoli only landed on my *toes* when it could have landed somewhere worse...haha.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Peter: Glad you enjoyed the story. :) Haha, yeah, I guess if I *had* to say something nice about the economy, that would be it...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ LadyStyx: Ooh, the exercise bike... I've actually been thinking of joining a gym simply so that I had access to one of those. (But it's hard to wear flip-flops on those damn bikes...haha.) I don't blame you for preferring to be barefoot...I love being barefoot, too. (But when I can't be barefoot...it's stiletto time!)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Sasha: Glad you enjoyed it! :) Glad you get a kick out of my nickname, haha.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Crane: I freakin' love your website. I think we have a few mutual baseball crushes! ;)

ChicagoLady said...

Broccoli toes? That made me laugh loud enough, that if there had been anyone else nearby, I would have been asked what was so funny. You are a brave woman for putting your nickname out there like that.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I always tell myself I'm either brave or crazy. I prefer thinking of myself as the former, of course. ;)