Thursday, February 19, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for February 19, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.



I take a lot of shit for watching Lost, mainly because people keep complaining at me that they refuse to watch and/or have given up on watching it because it "makes them think too much" or it's "too confusing" or gives them "so many questions." You're kidding me, right? I'd much rather watch a show that makes me think than watch one that spoon-feeds me mediocrity and mainstream garbage. But hey, that's just me; to each his or her own, right?

I don't know which is more amusing here: the plethora of errors in the answer to this question, or the fact that Ms. Bad Speller ends her paragraph with "Some of what has been going on [in the show] lately is confusing. Even for me." Ha. Because I'd never have guessed that someone with such rotten language skills could be confused by anything...especially when it involves time-travel, smoke monsters, and other rather complex topics...

So last night on Lost... We got some answers, and we got some questions. We learned about the Lamppost, the off-island Dharma station. That's where Ms. Hawking (Faraday's mother) tried to explain to Jack, Sun, Ben, and Desmond how the island moves through space and time and how it can be found only in certain windows of time. Desmond--looking absolutely smokin' hot--stormed out, not wanting to waste any more of his life on island-related business. He'll surely be back.

The rest of the episode was devoted to the castaways (and Ben) getting back to the island. Ms. Hawking and Ben each talk to Jack and convince him he's gotta go back to the island. Ben talks religious references. Locke's suicide note follows Jack around (although I knew Locke died, I didn't suspect that Locke would actually kill himself--did you suspect that?) until he reads it. (By the way, I'm not convinced the note is from Locke. I'm thinking it might be written by Ben...to manipulate Jack into going back to the island. Ben lied and said he didn't know Locke killed himself, yet next week's previews clearly show Ben helping Locke with a noose...) What was up with Ben calling Jack "John" several times? Obviously "Jack" is a nickname for the name John, but in this episode when they were dealing with another person named John...it seemed odd. We had Jack putting Christian's shoes on John's feet so that John could be a "proxy" on the trip back to the island.

So now the whole merry band of islanders--minus Desmond--is on their way back to the island. And there's drama. Jack's bringing Locke's body on the plane. We know Kate did something with Aaron, but we don't know what and she doesn't want to talk about it. We know that it looks like Ben got the crap beaten out of him, but we don't know why or by whom. Sun's there, looking forward to hopefully seeing Jin again. We know Sayid seemed to be in someone's custody, but we don't know why. We know Hurley was on the flight, but how the hell did he find out about it? (I love how he tried buying up so many seats so that people's lives were spared!) Hurley seemed awfully surprised to see Ben on the flight. And speaking of surprises--hey, it's Lapidus, the pilot from the freighter crew from Season 4! And he takes a look around, sees all of these castaways, and realizes...hey, maybe this plane isn't going to Guam after all...

When the plane does crash, there's a flash...like a time-travel flash. Jack, Hurley, and Kate end up together (looks like Hurley landed in the little lake where Sawyer and Kate went diving for the marshal's case in Season 1...Jack helps Hurley in the water and then goes to make sure Kate, who looks pretty out of it, is OK), but they don't see the rest of the castaways...or the rest of the plane, for that matter. Where the hell did the plane and everyone else go? But hey, there's someone...on the shore...

Look, it's the Dharma bus (all shiny and new-looking)...and there's Jin! He's wearing...a Dharma uniform! And pointing a gun at the castaways! (We know where the castaways landed...but when did they land?) And from the look on Jin's face, he seems to recognize them...or does he? I guess we'll find out next week...

Speaking of next week--from the previews, it looks like Locke gets resurrected. Next week's episode looks seriously crazy...in an awesome way, of course.

What did you think of tonight's episode? What questions did this episode drum up for you? Where did Sun, Sayid, and Ben disappear to? When will we see shirtless Sawyer again? What's Locke's story? Sound off in the Comments section...

Don't forget to check out the Doc Jensen recap by clicking here. Brilliant, as always!

One more Lost-related tidbit: Have you seen the cake celebrating the 100th episode of Lost? Hat tip to EVula for spotting this on Cake Wrecks. Apparently the pictures of the cake were originally posted on Jorge Garcia's blog. (That's right, you guys--Hurley blogs! Or at least the guy who plays Hurley does.) Enjoy!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought this episode was one of the best in terms of answers and character exploration.

In a few threads I was lurking on last night, some of the commenters were disappointed at the Jack/Kate scene but I thought it made a lot of sense. She's obviously distraught about leaving Aaron behind and following Jack back to that place she tried so hard to get away from so it's only natural she fell into his arms...err...bed.

I thought my ears were deceiving me when I heard Ben say John instead of Jack. That is really odd but I'm glad it wasn't only me that heard that. :)

I am looking forward to next week's episode where it will be revealed what John has gone through for the last three years. I honestly have no doubt he wrote that suicide note, it just looks like something he'd say. I can practically feel his pain in that one little line. His whole life became about believing in the power of that island and for years he tried to get Jack to believe as well. I'm sure it caused him great heartache that Jack just didn't share his faith.

-April

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Me too! I, too, was impressed by the Jack/Kate scene. That felt very real, and I think it worked very well. I reallyliked when Jack was telling her about not feleing like his father was worth a new pair of shoes before his funeral--and you could see how much he regretted that.

Glad I'm not the only one who kept hearing Ben referring to Jack as John. That was interesting, don't you think? I wonder what, exactly, it means.

I agree that the note looks like something John would write. But with Lost, I've learned that sometimes the producers hand you something that looks indisputable...and then they turn it upside down. We already know--from seeing next week's preview--that Ben knows how Locke died. We already know that Ben is a liar and that Ben has been doing whatever he can to manipulate people into going back to the island. I wouldn't put it past Ben to write that note, knowing how it would affect Jack.

By the way, when Ben walked away to "give Jack some privacy" while reading the note on the plane...he never came back to that section of the plane before the flash/crash, did he? I wonder what happened to him...and if he did that on purpose...

ChicagoLady said...

Ok, I don't watch Lost. Yes, I know. What is wrong with me? Besides the obvious, nothing.

I must say, those mistakes are pretty bad, but what's just as annoying is the intermittant lowercase letters for names. Kate gets capitalized, but Jack does only sometimes, same with Sawyer. At least she could have been consistent.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I like you even though you don't watch Lost, ChicagoLady! :) And yeah, the inconsistent capitalization (or lack thereof) was annoying. But that's standard for Yahoo Answers!, I suppose...

Brian said...

I've got three questions.

A guy is walking in a tropical jungle on an island and is attacked by a polar bear that is really a snake, that is a parrot, that is a priest, that is a poodle, that is tarantula, that is a stick of gum, that is a cable installer in St. Louis who is actually a polar bear.

Now was that a real polar bear or was it a grizzly bear painted white so everyone would think he's a polar bear?


Did Jack have to pay for an extra seat on the plane even though Lock was dead, did Jack get Lock's bag of peanuts or did Kate get them, and are they magic peanuts or just the regular salted kind?

And why in the world after you crash land on an island that travels through space and lots of weird stuff happens, (see polar bear above,) and you get off of it would you go back?

I mean I'd be like: Yahoo, Baskin-Robbins on me everybody. Smoke 'em' if you got 'em'.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

It was a real polar bear. My boy Sawyer shot it.

Not only did nobody get peanuts on the flight, but it's not yet apparent where Locke's casket disappeared to.

They have to get back to save their friends.

I freakin' LOVE this show!

Brian said...

Okay, well what I meant to say was:

"I mean I'd be like: Yahoo! Baskin-Robbins on me everybody. Smoke 'em' if you got 'em'.

What... They did... Uh huh... And Wh...

We'll fuck those guys, they should've kept up. My Rocky Road is melting and as soon as I finish it I'm on my way to Starbucks"

Ranielle said...

Dude! I totally thought I was hearing things when I thought Ben called Jack "John."

I really liked that Hurley bought up the seats and wouldn't let the flight attendant give them to the stand-bys. Only Hurley would think of something like that. (And only Hurley would have the money to do it.)

"When will we see shirtless Sawyer again?"

This is, I think, the most important unanswered question there could possibly be on the show.

Desmond was lookin' smokin'. A bit off-topic, but did you see that Henry Ian Cusick will be playing the new head reaper in the DEAD LIKE ME movie? Uh, yes, please.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Nope, you weren't hearing things! I do wonder what that means, though...

Hurley's such a great character. He's so selfless and thoughtful.

Ooh,I didn't even know there was going to be a Dead Like Me movie! Now I will definitely have to see it. Thanks for the tip! :)