Thursday, February 12, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for February 12, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.



OK, I have two issues with this question/answer:

1) I just re-watched a couple episodes of season 3. I've recently seen a bullet get taken out of Sayid's arm, and I've seen Ben undergo spinal surgery and bleed like crazy. These are not violent gory moments, of course, but they still made me wince and turn away from the TV. So just in case anyone's not clear--yeah, there's blood on Lost. And sometimes it gets gross.

2) Whimpy and gorey really made me giggle.

So last night on Lost...
So many people seem to be contradicting one another (or themselves). Ben's acting like he's a savior; Christian asks Locke, "Since when did listening to [Ben] ever get you anywhere good?" Jin not wanting Sun to come back to the island...while Sun, of course, wanted to go back to see him. The uber-loyal Sayid...walking away from his friends (well, Jack, and...can you call Ben one of Sayid's friends?) and not wanting to see them again? (I'm also surprised that Kate just took off like that, knowing this was a chance to go back to the island and help Sawyer...)

We saw some crazy shit go down on the island. We went back in time to witness Rousseau kill her crew after they had a little too close of an encounter with the smoke monster...and then she almost got Jin (saved by the flash!). We saw Charlotte die...after she confessed to Faraday that she had indeed been on the island before...and, not only that, but that some "crazy guy" told her to never come back to the island or else she'd die...and she suspected that person was Faraday himself! (Is anyone else curious now about Charlotte's mother? I find it interesting that she pretended the island never existed whenever Charlotte mentioned it to her...) We saw Jin speak way more/way better English than I thought he was capable of speaking (I didn't think his English skills were nearly as good in other episodes), we saw Juliet being the only one polite enough to thank Locke for what he was doing, and we saw that bastard Christian make Locke drag his injured self over to that big-ass wheel and turn it.

Funniest line of the night comes from Miles: "What are you looking at me for? He speaks Korean. I'm from Encino!" Now that Charlotte's gone, who the hell is gonna translate for Jin? Also: I thought it was brave/sweet of Jin to pretend he's dead so Sun wouldn't come back. I don't think that's gonna work too well, though, since Sun, Jack, and Desmond accompanied Ben to the church where Mrs. Hawking hangs out, and it looks like they're on their way back to the island...

So many questions...and most importantly, what's this all leading up to? Was anyone else a little creeped out by Charlotte's "This place is death!" revelation? We didn't really see Hurley this episode; what's gonna happen with him? What happens to Locke once he turns that wheel? Where does he end up, what does he do there, and how does he die?

Plus--if the time-travel sickness happens as a result of prolonged exposure to the island--and if what Charlotte said was true, she had actually met Faraday on the island before--which means that Faraday, too, would have had prolonged exposure to the island--WHY IS HE NOT GETTING THE TIME-TRAVEL SICKNESS? So far he and Locke (and now Jin) are the only ones out of that bunch to NOT have had nosebleeds...

Did you watch last night? What did you think? Talk to me in the Comments section!

Also: Don't forget to check out this week's Doc Jensen article. That man is brilliant--seriously brilliant.



12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought last night's episode was one of the best. First of all, we saw smokey and learned a little more about it. Security system for the temple... Intriguing. Cannot wait to learn more.

Christian & Locke in the tunnel was an interesting scene. Did Ben cause all this by turning the wheel when it should have been Locke? Seems that was implied.

Charlotte's death scene was revealing. Definitely want to learn more about her mother.

Did you see Ben's face when Desmond said Daniel's mother? He had no idea!

A week is just entirely too long to wait for more.

-April

Bridgete said...

I still don't watch Lost, so no comments there. I like "whimpy" though. =)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, April! Yeah, I really liked that Christian/Locke scene. I thought it was very well done. I, too, started to get the impression that some of this chaos was caused by Ben, not Locke, turning that wheel...

I was just starting to like Charlotte more, and then she goes and dies. Figures!

Yeah, Ben did look surprised when Desmond said that woman was Faraday's mother! Haha. That was great, since there have been so few moments where Ben has actually seemed surprised by stuff...

I cannot believe we have to wait a whole WEEK! I'm gonna go outta my mind... :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bridgete: For a spelling error, I thought "whimpy" was pretty cute. :)

Andrew said...

I like how this season it seems like mysteries and questions on LOST are being answered rather quickly instead of drawn out. Maybe thats due to a limited amount of episodes left!

Charlotte: Obvious she was born on the island. Who's her mother? Could Ben be her father or is she too old? Could Ben's childhood girlfriend be her mother?

Faraday: Clearly the island will jump time again and land in the 70s. Faraday, all sad about Charlotte dying, will hunt her down and tell her not to come back thus fulfilling his own destiny. However, it may not change the future. At the same time we will see him exploring the Orchid station as we saw in the season opener.

Christian Shepard: Good lord who is this guy really? We definitely won't be finding out any time soon. Was he previously on the island in real life, left, and was forced to "sacrifice" his own life to bring people back? Much like Locke will do?

Ben: Definitely surprised to see Desmond and learn Eloise is Faradays mum. Could get good.

Eloise: Is she going to send back only some of the O6? Will that stop the time shifts?

Smokey: Ok, we haven't seen "him" in quite some time. Now we get another look and added to the mystery is that he always returns to a hole in the ground in front of an old temple. In addition, you can go in this hole and you're weird and messed up when you come out! This one is the one mystery last night that may have gotten more mysterious.

Will the next few episodes show Locke in L.A. hunting down the losties? In other words, will it be "3 years earlier" than the current timeline in LA? Maybe we'll hear what he said to all the O6 that made them freak out.

Phew, a week is too long to wait!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, Andrew!

Yeah, as much as LOST is still teasing us with some questions, it's giving us a good deal of answers. I love it!

I read in this week's Doc Jensen article that Charlotte's dad is named David Lewis. I, too, thought Ben might be her dad...but I guess not.

I like your idea about Faraday. That's definitely plausible...

I'm really intrigued by Christian, too. Since he wasn't the best dude when he was alive, do you think that his redemption/salvation is being a sort of spirit guide to those who need help?

I can't imagine that Eloise will only send back some of the O6. That was never the plan...she wants to send them all back. I can't believe she'd be OK with just sending 4. I wonder what she's got up her sleeve...

Yes--the smoke monster thing just got more complex, haha. I'm sure we'll be learning more about that later in the season. I read that one focus of this season was exploring the origins of the island more...

I can't wait to see what Locke does in the next episode! Arrghhh...6 more days to wait!!!

Robin said...

Oh, sweetie, what were you doing on Yahoo! Answers? I'm surprised your head hasn't exploded from the sheer misuse of grammar.

(I admit, it IS addicting... in a train-wreck sort of way...)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

It's a great place to go when I'm in dire need of a grammar error relating to something I want to talk about on the blog. It's very searchable, and so I can *always* find something that relates to my topic and is poorly-written! ;)

Andrew said...

great quote about LOST:
Carlton Cuse: And there’s only one character that we’re going to confirm will make it all till the end of LOST and that is Vincent the dog.

from latest podcast with the producers/writers

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Vincent! I'm glad to hear he makes it. He always pops up at the most interesting moments...

I'm half-wishing that he would have shown up in last night's episode, running around with the French guy's arm in his mouth, running toward Jin to see if Jin would play fetch with him (as if the arm was a stick)...haha. :)

Ranielle said...

I love the smoke monster! So happy to see it back, even though it still doesn't make any freakin' sense to me. One of those island mysteries I'd be OK with if they left it a mystery.

I'm not quite sure anymore who all needs to go back to the island. Locke never visited Desmond (as far as I can remember), and it was Ben who sought Locke out. So does the presence of Desmond and Ben on the return trip even count for anything?

Can anyone recall if Christian has ever made physical contact with another person (by touching them) that he's run into on the island? Part of the reason I suspect he wouldn't help Locke to his feet is because he's, well, not really there. In the physical sense.

Anyone else find striking similarities in Charlotte's command to Jin and Claire's command to Kate? "Don't you dare bring him/her back!"

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yeah, Desmond and Ben aren't part of the Oceanic 6, but they seem to be central to the story's plot...so I wouldn't be surprised if at least Ben tagged along.

Great thought about Christian. Now you've got me thinking...and so far I've not been able to recall a moment where he's touched anyone he;s seen on the island. Did he touch Claire at all when Locke saw Christian and Claire in the cabin a while back? But then again, there seems to be a lot of speculation that Claire is dead, too, and that was her spirit that Locke saw in the cabin...

Yes, when Charlotte went off on her "Don't you dare bring her back!" thing, I was absolutely reminded of Claire saying something very similar to Kate. I wonder if that was in reference to bringing someone back to the island or bringing someone back from the dead. There have been a lot of hints about reincarnation and stuff of that nature...