Thursday, February 5, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 for February 5, 2009

I BET THEIR COPY EDITORS DIED ON OCEANIC 815 is the newest weekly feature on Red Pen, Inc. It's a combination of recapping last night's episode of Lost and mocking some Lost-related bad writing. We can only assume that the publications whose writing is featured here must have had copy editors aboard Oceanic 815, and once the plane crashed and the copy editors died, the cheap-ass publications didn't hire anyone else to replace them...which results in the crappy writing/grammar/spelling found in this feature.


Oh, no, they DIDN'T...

Oh, crap. Yes, they did. Twice, in fact.

They took the name of the Hottest Redneck Ever* in vain. Or, more accurately--they misspelled it. And that's just as bad. It's 6 letters, people. How tough is it to get them in the right order?

Speaking of Sawyer, have you tried the Sawyer Nickname Generator yet? If not, click here to try it. (So far I've been given the nicknames Cloudy...and Yoda, of all things. Do or do not use good grammar and proper spelling, kiddos--there is no try...)

And now on to the my thoughts about last night's episode...

(Don't forget to check out the Doc Jensen recap. God, that guy is freakin' smart!)

* I gave myself a nice little pat on the back for knowing that it was Ben who orchestrated those lawyers coming after Kate. (Although I've gotta admit I did doubt myself a little bit when Claire's mother showed up, because all of a sudden, it seemed like she might know something...but she didn't.)

* Charlotte's not dead (yay!) but everyone's getting nosebleeds...well, almost everyone. Miles, Charlotte, and Juliet did; Locke, Sawyer, and Faraday did not. I think it's an interesting theory about how the time-travel sickness/nosebleeds could be caused by prolonged exposure to the island. I've heard (but don't know if it's true--can anyone confirm? I can't remember if I *saw* evidence of this in season 4, or if I just read about this sort of speculation somewhere...) that Charlotte and Faraday have been on the island before. But what about Miles? He says he hasn't been to the island before. And if all these folks are getting nosebleeds, what about Richard Alpert? Is HE getting them? He's probably been there longer than anyone, right?

* I liked watching Sayid kick some ass in that hospital room. And, ladies, didn't his hair look really hot in this episode? Just sayin'...

* Speaking of hotness, the more hair Jack has, the less attractive I find him. I liked his island hair better than his off-the-island hair. Ironic, since off the island, he has access to things like barbers...

* I was really impressed with Sawyer in this episode. He's such a tough guy, but he actually feels something when it comes to Kate. I like seeing that side of him. I've always thought Sawyer and Kate were perfect for one another--they're so much alike. I doubt they'll ever get back together--if the writers gave us such a happy ending to this show, I think I'd want to puke...characters need to feel loss in order to grow, and the characters will grow more if they're apart, not together...but that doesn't mean I don't think they're perfect for each other (if that makes any sense at all...).

* Jin! Holy shit, Jin's back! I'd always been suspicious of his "death." Mainly because nothing on Lost is ever as it seems. Sure, they made it look like Jin died--probably made some people assume he died--but we never knew for sure. Now we know--and we know he's not dead.

* Michael, on the other hand...now I'm pretty sure he's dead. I was never quite sure...until I saw a commercial (that ran during Lost tonight) for a different TV show that he's in. I'm guessing if he's on that show, he's not also on Lost.

* As soon as I saw/heard the French people, I had a feeling we'd be going back in time to see a younger Rousseau. Yay! Right again!

* And then there was bad-ass Sun...I'm really interested to see how her character develops.

* I'm beginning to think that no Lost episode is ever complete without a "Son of a bitch!" coming outta Sawyer. Ahhh, Sawyer's "Son of a bitch!" is my constant... ;)

What'd you think about last night's episode? Do you think Miles has been on that island before? Do you think the time travel sickness will get to be too much for any of the folks on the island? Will Ben & co. be able to convince Sun to a) not shoot, and b) to go back to the island? Talk to me in the Comments section!


* Actually, there's only one hot redneck in existence...in my humble opinion, at least. It's not like Sawyer has much competition in this realm...

20 comments:

Laura Payne said...

I am either Little Red Riding Hood, The Doc or Yoda. Tried it three times responding identically each time and got these three entirely different names. Hmmm.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha, at least I'm not the only Yoda around here! I do love the "Little Red Riding Hood" nickname, though. :)

I, too, responded identically each time, and I got different nicknames as well. Perhaps Sawyer's been drinking a little too much of that Dharma beer... ;)

Anonymous said...

I was also patting myself on the back for figuring out that it was Ben who hired the lawyers but also was a bit thrown by Claire's mother showing up. The writers love to do that to us don't they?

I am pretty sure that Charlotte has been on the island before but I haven't yet placed when and why. I have a theory that the baby we saw a couple weeks ago in a flashback to the doctor (the one in the vids) is actually Miles.

Sayid is hotter than anyone else on that show and yes, his hair last night was especially lust-worthy.

Jack is too annoying to be hot to me, no matter what his hair looks like.

The Sawyer-Kate thing makes total sense. I'm right there with you.

I was just waiting for Jin to reappear.

Michael is definitely dead. Remember when he was told "you can go now" - that was the "island" telling him he could finally die. I'd be shocked if he somehow turned up again.

And Jin's expression when she introduced herself was priceless!

I think that's all I'm going to say about that because this has gotten to be a ridiculously lengthy comment.

HuianaSukari said...

I've been nicknamed Tinkerbell. I hear it in my head, in his voice, and my toes get tingly. I choose to ignore the other names, (Mr. Miyagi and Columbo.)lol.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Anonymous: One of the best things about the show is how wily those writers are! :)

Great theory about Miles! Wow. I hadn't thought of that before!

I love Sayid's character. I always say that if I had been stuck on that island, I'd want to stick close to him. I think he's the smartest one out of the whole bunch.

Jack annoys me, too...but he's got tattoos. And somehow that makes him OK in my book. He'll never be my favorite character, but I don't mind him too much.

Ahhh, OK--what you said about Michael makes sense. Thanks for clarifying. :)

Don't worry, lengthy comments are always welcome...especially when they're about Lost! ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Huiana, I think I like your nickname best! "Tinkerbell" rocks! :)

ChicagoLady said...

I don't watch Lost, but I tried the Sawyer nickname. I got Freckles which fits me perfectly. I tried again with the same answers and got Shaggy. The third time I added one selection for my brain type and I got Norma Rae. Not quite sure what to make of that.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

"Freckles"! That's cute. :) Sawyer often calls Kate "Freckles" on the show. :)

"Shaggy" and "Norma Rae," though? They're not nearly as cool as "Freckles."

b13 said...

Been discussing this and thinking that Ellie may be Faraday's mom. And the same woman that is helping Ben plot a new entry to the island.

The boat they took... with the Ajhira water bottle... may be from Jack and crew coming back to the Island (missed each other by "that much").

Really mind blowing... what if Desmond's child, Charlie, is one and the same with Charlie from the island. Thinking about time-lines here... not "where am I" but "when am I".

A friend pointed out that the sound of Locke's calculator (from an older episode) sounds quite a bit like the smoke creature.

So much to think about... ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Wow, these are GREAT thoughts/theories. I was already pretty sure that Ellie was Faraday's mother and that she's the one helping Ben figure out a way back to the island... But I hadn't even thought about the rest of your points on my own, although now that I'm thinking about them, they totally make sense! (If Charlie is really Desmond's kid, that would be so crazy...and so cool!)

Yes--there's definitely SO much to think about! This season is amazing so far! :)

LadyStyx said...

I used 3 different names but responded the same to the rest of the questions. With my married name, I got Zeke and with my maiden name and online nick (split with Lady as the first name and Styx as the last) I ended up with the cute name of Sugarpop.

Bridgete said...

On the subject of getting proper names wrong, I saw one for you but I unfortunately couldn't get a good picture. It was on a cocktail menu, it said they had "Kettle One" vodka. Umm, that would be Ketel One. Anyway, the menu was too shiny so all I got was a reflection of the lights in the restaurant. But I thought I'd tell you anyway. =)

Brian said...

“I gave myself a nice little pat on the back for knowing that it was Ben who orchestrated those lawyers coming after Kate. (Although I've gotta admit I did doubt myself a little bit when Claire's mother showed up, because all of a sudden, it seemed like she might know something...but she didn't.)”

This island must be from another dimension. Since when do lawyers need someone to organized them to go after someone.

“Charlotte's not dead (yay!) but everyone's getting nosebleeds...well, almost everyone. Miles, Charlotte, and Juliet did; Locke, Sawyer, and Faraday did not. I think it's an interesting theory about how the time-travel sickness/nosebleeds could be caused by prolonged exposure to the island. I've heard (but don't know if it's true--can anyone confirm? I can't remember if I *saw* evidence of this in season 4, or if I just read about this sort of speculation somewhere...) that Charlotte and Faraday have been on the island before. But what about Miles? He says he hasn't been to the island before. And if all these folks are getting nosebleeds, what about Richard Alpert? Is HE getting them? He's probably been there longer than anyone, right?”

I'm getting a nose bleed tight now. You couldn't navigate this thing with a GPS unit.

Time Travel sickness. You get it but never remember.

“I liked watching Sayid kick some ass in that hospital room. And, ladies, didn't his hair look really hot in this episode? Just sayin'...”

Yeah, and in that Dolce Gabbana dressing gown he looked positively dreamy.

“Speaking of hotness, the more hair Jack has, the less attractive I find him. I liked his island hair better than his off-the-island hair. Ironic, since off the island, he has access to things like barbers...”

SPOILER ALERT.

Jack is actually a boar.

“I was really impressed with Sawyer in this episode. He's such a tough guy, but he actually feels something when it comes to Kate. I like seeing that side of him. I've always thought Sawyer and Kate were perfect for one another--they're so much alike. I doubt they'll ever get back together--if the writers gave us such a happy ending to this show, I think I'd want to puke...characters need to feel loss in order to grow, and the characters will grow more if they're apart, not together...but that doesn't mean I don't think they're perfect for each other (if that makes any sense at all...).”

Sure, it make sense. To a Klingon.

“Jin! Holy shit, Jin's back! I'd always been suspicious of his "death." Mainly because nothing on Lost is ever as it seems. Sure, they made it look like Jin died--probably made some people assume he died--but we never knew for sure. Now we know--and we know he's not dead.”

Call 911. I can't get this nose bleed to stop.

“Michael, on the other hand...now I'm pretty sure he's dead. I was never quite sure...until I saw a commercial (that ran during Lost tonight) for a different TV show that he's in. I'm guessing if he's on that show, he's not also on Lost."

Here's how to resolve this question:

Lost: Make believe.

Commercial: Real life. (Respectively.)

It's a fine line. Lets try not to cross it when driving or operating personal pleasure devices.

“As soon as I saw/heard the French people, I had a feeling we'd be going back in time to see a younger Rousseau. Yay! Right again!”

Just what we need. To see the French twice as much.

“And then there was bad-ass Sun...I'm really interested to see how her character develops.”

I'm with you on this one. I think the sky's the limit at what she can rise to. There's good things for her on the horizon.

I need another tissue, that just made it worse.

“I'm beginning to think that no Lost episode is ever complete without a "Son of a bitch!" coming outta Sawyer. Ahhh, Sawyer's "Son of a bitch!" is my constant... ;)“

Actually Josh Holloway says that every time he gets a new script. They just decided to leave it in.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ LadyStyx: Sugarpop! Now I'm jealous. That's so cute! :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Bridgete: "Kettle" One! That's hilarious. :) Thanks for thinking of me and for trying to snap a picture!

Kati McCauley said...

OK, I just watched it. I totally wished I was with someone when Jin appeared so I could be jubilant with others. Or something. Right.

So, I think in the episode in which they went back and showed the group from the boat being selected, they all seemed to have a connection to the island (except Frank, the helicopter guy). They never made it clear what Faraday's was, or Miles's at that. It would make perfect sense if both of them had parents that lived on the island. I mean, there is that Asian dude on all of the training videos, and he did have a kid in the episode a couple of weeks ago. So many thoughts going through my mind!

As to the nicknames, I remember I was "Norma Rae" once, too. Other than that, I don't recall.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Brian: You are NOT mocking Lost. You are NOT making bad puns involving Sun's name. You are also NOT mocking the doctor with hot tattoos, and you are NOT mocking the French. The reason I know these things is because I've been to the future, and in the future it appears that, amazingly, you have NOT been smacked upside the head by a cranky Grammarphile because you mocked her favorite television show. And if you were really mocking Lost? Well then, you'd totally be smacked. So there you have it.

Also in the future, I saw a few more Phillies World Series championships, and I noticed that my new last name is Hamels.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Kati: Yeah, I feel the same way--I was dying to call people after last night's episode and, like, shriek at them. But most people I know who watch Lost aren't caught up to season 5 yet, so I couldn't spoil the story for them! Sigh.

I like your theory on Miles. I'm thinking that makes a lot of sense. Speaking of the pilot--I miss seeing him this season. I thought he was a cool dude!

Brian said...

Thank God.

At least my life gets better than it is now.

By the way. While you were there you didn't happen to see if the charges were dropped in that incident with the grape jelly and the two cheerleaders did you?

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Oh, so I guess that lends some insight into why you looked like you had a fluffy tail when I saw you in the future...you had a pom-pom permanently lodged up your ass! I'd wondered what you'd done to piss off a cheerleader so much...now I know that she (or they) must have REALLY not wanted to wrestle in that grape jelly...

But hey, the good news is that at least you weren't in jail! :)