Wednesday, February 25, 2009

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR (and a CONTEST!) for February 25, 2009


This picture comes to us from EVula, who says: I saw a variation of this [sticker] on the back of a girl's car the other day while driving around (a quick Google search will net you several different variations of this, some with the proper "you're", some not... not to mention the fact that the ellipsis should have a third period). I'm torn. On the one hand, as a red-blooded straight male, hell yes I like this... but on the other hand, horrible grammar is a turn-off. Decisions, decisions...

So then I got to thinking--somebody's gotta be able to make a better bumper sticker than that. And by "better", I mean "involves a sexual joke AND good grammar." Something like these, perhaps...








Mine are kinda lame, though. I bet you can do better! What would your sexy grammar bumper sticker say (does not necessarily need to start with "If you're gonna ride my ass..."; feel free to be as creative as you want)? Tell me in the comments section below. Best/funniest one wins a prize. That's right--if I pick your sticker (yikes, that phrase sounds kinda gross...but you know what I mean, right?), you'll win this brand-spankin'-new (emphasis on that spankin') "Good grammar turns me on!" thong from Red Pen Couture!


You've got until 11:59 PM EST on Monday, March 2, to enter. The winner will be announced next Hump Day--Wednesday, March 4. Be funny, be naughty, and use sexy grammar. ;) Good luck!

(Thanks to EVula for the original picture that inspired this post and contest!)

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

heh... You knew I'd love that last one, right? :)

It's Wednesday!

Not related to bad grammar but I watched "316" again last night and Ben very clearly calls Jack "John" when he's giving the Doubting Thomas speech. I haven't seen that mentioned on any forums, though. Very, very odd.

Ok, back to the post, I have nothing clever to add so I'll just come back later to see what brilliance other commenters come up with.

-April

J. Alfred Proofreader said...

Grammarphile, I actually like your "do it while I'm on my comma, not my period." Very clever.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, April! Yeah, the Sawyer-related sticker is my favorite one, too! ;)

I've mentioned the "Jack being called John" thing to people at work, and they all look at me like I'm retarded. "You DO know that Jack is a nickname for John, right?", they ask. And I say, "Yes, but considering that NOBODY on the show has EVER called Jack 'John' until the middle of season 5, doesn't that seem somehow SIGNIFICANT?" We'll see. I think there's something going on with that, but I'm not quite sure what.

Heh. I'm hoping people come up with some entertaining and brilliant stuff, too! :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Thanks, J. Alfred! :) I had entirely too much fun thinking of stuff for those sexy grammar bumper stickers, haha.

Jenna Atkinson said...

If you're going to dangle my participle, at least cuddle afterwards.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Good one, Jenna--I love it! :)

EVula said...

I love the "split my infinitive" one. :)

I can't come up with anything better right now, but I also just got out of bed. Perhaps once I'm actually awake...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Ha! Glad you dig it.

And EVula, I'm expecting something brilliant out of you eventually, once you wake up. After all, you started this! ;)

Ray Gunn said...

Your blog is fantastic. I only stumbled upon it today as I was looking around for kindred spirits. Thanks for the laughs! Hope you don't mind me adding you to my blogroll.

JD (The Engine Room) said...

This isn't a competition entry, just wanted to say that UK papers (the trashy ones) sometimes use the two-dot ellipsis (if you can call it that) in their headlines. It annoys me!

Next time I spot one, I'll send you a scan.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, Ray! I just checked out your blog, and I really like it! Yes, please, link away--and I am now linking to your blog, too. :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Thanks, JD! Yeah, I'd love it if you could send me an example of that sometime. I never knew that some publications did that...

LadyStyx said...

*chuckles and moves to the next entry*

Valerie K said...

If you're going to ride my ass...

Stop making me [sic]!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Valerie, I *love* it!!! :)

Bridgete said...

Alright, I thought long and hard (hehe) about this. Here we go.

If you're going to split my infinitive, please don't dangle your modifier.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha! Fabulous, Bridgete! :)

Laura Payne said...

If you're going to ride my ass(terisk)...would you quit it with the exclamation marks.

If you're going to ride my ass...do it in the present - perfect and progressively.

If you're going to ride my ass...you can depend on my clause.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Laura, those are GREAT! My favorite of the ones you submitted is this one: "If you're going to ride my ass...do it in the present - perfect and progressively." :)

David said...

Uhmmmm...Is it just me or does the prize thong appear to have a built-in maxi-pad?

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Ewww! I can assure you that the thong does NOT come with one of those, haha!