Monday, January 12, 2009

Why yes, I *am* soliciting for birthday presents...

My birthday's in two weeks and one day. I'll be turning 28 on the 27th. And I think the fact that this Polish sorority girl has made it to her 28th birthday without doing something so severely klutzy as to kill or seriously maim herself is a cause for celebration--don't you agree?

I want birthday presents, dammit. And the best presents you guys can give me are gifts of bad grammar (and screwy spelling, putrid punctuation mistakes, and anything involving crappy and/or nonsensical writing). It's the gift that keeps on giving--if you give me a Red Pen, Inc. submission and then I write something funny about the bad grammar you found, it'll make you giggle. And giggling is fun!

You've got 15 days to find appropriate birthday presents for a Grammarphile. Send 'em to thegrammarphile@yahoo.com. (You don't even have to wrap them, or attach any big, fluffy bows!) You don't want me to be crying all over my cupcakes on the 27th because I've gotten no presents, do you? That's right--I didn't think so!

11 comments:

Finchstalker said...

I've actually got an awesome one I've been too lazy to screencap that comes from a feature in A DICTIONARY, of all places. I'll make sure to get it to you soon. ;)

Also, yay for January birthdays! I turned 22 today. :D

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Happy birthday, Finchstalker! I hope you have a fabulous day. :)

I can't wait to see what sort of craziness comes out of the dictionary! I'm looking forward to receiving that submission. :)

EVula said...

I'm crap at finding submissions for you, but I can guarantee plenty of snarky commentary, which is just as good giggle-fodder. Deal? ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Your comments are always freakin' hysterical, so yes--deal! :)

EVula said...

My sense of humor allows me to be a cheap bastard yet again. Score!

Bridgete said...

Does yesterday's submission count? I'm sure I could always find another one. Bad grammar is everywhere. =)

Brian said...

Thank SEKHMET for this clarification.

I've been having a Hell of time getting this Porsche into a damn Priority Mail envelope.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yep--yesterday's submission counts, Bridgete. :) You get extra credit--you sent it in before I actually started shamelessly soliciting for grammar-related birthday presents!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yikes, Brian--you really wanna trust a Polish girl with a Porsche?

Brian said...

You're the only one I've ever trusted with the "N". I'll trust you with the P.

Oh, I forgot something...

That was weak. That wasn't even Carrot Top quality.

I apologize to everyone. I feel so ashamed.

I'm gonna get my clown license pulled, I just know it.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

So just how retarded am I for not getting that joke at all?