Thursday, January 8, 2009

No, thanks--just one stomach is good enough for me!


This might not be the smartest way to advertise losing flab. People who have a goal of losing something don't want to think about gaining anything. And the way this is phrased almost makes me think that this flat stomach that you're gaining is a second stomach. Isn't that what it sounds like? And who the hell wants a second stomach? (I sure as hell don't--I like the one I have just fine. And where would I put a second stomach, anyway?)

As long as I'm being picky, I may as well mention that I noticed the awkwardness of this phrase and that there are these things called indefinite articles, for crying out loud...so freakin' use them! For example: the lovely word a. So simple to remember, right? Sigh.

15 comments:

sinisterdan said...

I've gained several flat stomachs. I've gained so many of them that I know appear to be fat.

Such a thing is grossly unfair,

sinisterdan said...

Did I just drop a typo on you blog?

...on THIS blog...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha...yeah, you totally did just drop a typo! Actually, between your two comments, there's one typo (or a missing word, depending on how you look at it), one erroneous piece of punctuation, and then another typo (just a missing letter this time)... But since you write a cool blog (and you read an even cooler one), you're forgiven! :)

sinisterdan said...

I clearly need to be less casual with my comments.

You are evil, and I approve.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Wickedness is godliness! ...Or something like that. :)

David said...

I was excited to read this thinking I could gain a flat stomach and have the old fat one removed...surgically very likely - since I'm allergic to that whole diet/exercise thing

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I'm allergic to that exercise stuff, too. I'm lucky to be skinny, but I have NO muscles and I'm such a freakin' weakling! Sigh.

Dave (the other Dave) said...

Flat Stomachs Gained - Inconclusive

Companie's Net Loss due to Shitty and Awkwardly Phrased Advertising -Confirmed

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Dave: Yes, I believe you're right about all of that! :)

ChicagoLady said...

I definitely don't need a second stomach. The one I already have is big enough to be two.

Persnickety Ticker said...

I want to comment, yet I am in total fear that my comments are going to be ripped apart and used for future blog posts.

On that note, I would like to gain flat stomach now. Please and thanks.

Brian said...

It's still an improvement over the first draft submitted: "Want to lose 50lbs. of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

I'm very generous when someone asks if I have any spare stomach.

I try to use the same rule I have for lending money: Don't give what you can't afford to lose.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Persnickety: No, no, no--you don't need to worry! There's only ONE way I'm ever OK with ragging on Red Pen readers for making typos, and that's if THEY point it out and make fun of themselves first. If they start mocking themselves...then it's fair game for me to give 'em a little shit about it, too. ;) So comment (and typo) away if you'd like!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Brian: Haha...that first draft would have been MUCH more entertaining than the final version of that ad!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ ChicagoLady: I hear ya--I think we'd all love to give away part of our tummies! :)