Wednesday, January 7, 2009

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for January 7, 2009


OK, guys. I'm pretty much unshockable. But the rather large number of people who went onto Yahoo Answers and asked about whether or not having sex with Siamese twins constituted a threesome is enough to make my jaw drop.

Other surprising things:

* I didn't know the life span of Siamese twins was large enough that they'd reach the age where they would actually be able to have sex

* I'm kind of surprised at how freely this person admits that yeah, he or she had sex with Siamese twins

* What the fuck sort of dirty word that fits in THAT context is just three letters long? What body part could Yahoo Answers have possibly bleeped out there? The only one I can think of is ass, but I'm not sure that's the one the answerer was going for...

* Does anybody (besides the weirdo who answered the question) really think that having sex with Siamese twins is going to be GREAT? I mean, for effin' REAL.

* The ONLY thing odd about having sex with Siamese twins was too much noise? That's it? That was the only weird thing?

Yeah. I'm sort of speechless now.

20 comments:

Persnickety Ticker said...

That was just odd, yet funny, on so many levels.

Did you actually Google that, and if so, what prompted looking that up?

Dave said...

HAHAHA - Just so you know where my priorities are, I have 3 days worth of bank statements to review this morning but I read your Hump Day grammar post FIRST. All I have to say is - wow. Thats pretty disgusting. Here is another interesting question - What if one part of the siamese twin is all for it and the other one wants NO part of it? What happens then? How the hell would that be prosecuted..especially if there is only one ***? HAHAHA
Even better is the Askers comment at the bottom - Wish I could have been there! (shudder) K THX BYE

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Persnickety: I actually went onto Yahoo Answers (since their posts are rife with awful grammar mistakes) and searched with the keyword "threesome", figuring I'd find something useful for a HDG post. I didn't think I was gonna find THAT, though. Yikes.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Dave: Ha! Told you this post would be pretty crazy!

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I love how the answer says, "Thanks for the terrific question." Like he was thinking Man, this is my moment to shine. I knew that ***ing those s-twins was going to pay off someday

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha! Yeah, HLP, it was like this person was just *waiting* for someone to ask that sort of question so that he could blab about it. (You'd be surprised how many people apparently ask this sort of question on Yahoo Answers. And some of them actually seem serious...)

EVula said...

Buh... uh... wha?

I've got a very vivid imagination, and an even filthier mind, but I'm seriously having trouble with this one.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

So do I, EVula. I tried to shut my imagination off before dealing with this post, though. I don't wanna have nightmares...

Carlos said...

Jesus....Fuck...I'm laughing so damned hard I have absolutely nothing of substance to post!!!!

Thanks for the laugh. After today, I needed one!

ChicagoLady said...

Now that I've stopped laughing long enough to type my comment...What I found weird was the statement that he was going to go try it again to make sure he wasn't overthinking it.

That whole question/answer is just weird on so many levels.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Glad this post cheered you up a little bit, Carlos! :)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ ChicagoLady: Yeah, that's definitely one of the weirder parts of that answer...not that the answer was lacking in weirdness at all, though! :)

Yvie said...

Clearly you need to watch a bit more of the TLC channel. Then you'd know that there are Siamese twins joined at the head driving cars, buying clothing, going on dates, and all sorts of crazy shit. You'd also learn that there have been at least 3 people in the last 10 years who weigh over 1000 lbs.

On a side note, are the Yahoo Q&A forums just beacons for creepy, perverted idiots? I think HLP hit the nail on the head.

Lisa said...

It makes me feel quite warm inside, knowing that conjoined twins get laid.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

@ Yvie: The people in the Yahoo Answers forums scare me. They all seem mildly to terrifyingly deranged.

Also: well, shit--I had no idea Siamese twins could do all that. Wow.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

How snarky of you, Lisa! I love it. :)

Koselara said...

Hello, I just discovered your blog today, and I'm quite enjoying it!

"I didn't know the life span of Siamese twins was large enough that they'd reach the age where they would actually be able to have sex"

The Social History of Conjoined Twins (which is quite interesting) states that the brothers that toured as the Siamese Twins lived to age 63 and had twenty-one kids with their wives.

Since your reaction amused me, I must note that pretty much every category of disabled person does have lusty sex if they can find (or pay) someone to do it with, as one quad wrote from his iron lung. :o)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, Koselara! Thanks for the kind words...and thanks for the education and interesting linkage! :)

JD said...

Conjoined twins are entitled to sex too!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yeah, I had no doubt that they were *entitled* to sex, but I thought that there might be some physical limitations to them being able to have sex...