Wednesday, December 3, 2008

HUMP DAY GRAMMAR for December 3, 2008


I have to admit, it used to be kind of a challenge to find material for Hump Day Grammar. Lucky for me, Yahoo Answers has solved this problem by providing me with a steady stream of poorly-written, outrageously awful sex-related questions and answers. This week's feature is no exception. The misspelling (lubricant's got a c in it, moron!) pales in comparison to the actual question and answer here.

Who...fucking...does this? I'm certainly no prude, but I definitely draw the line at ladies stickin' car fluids up their hoo-has. That can't possibly be good for the lady, can it? Who are these ladies who hook up with this man? Are their names Jetta or Mercedes? (Actually, I'm thinking that whoever wrote this question is more of a pickup truck kinda guy, so maybe his classy lady's name is Toyota or something along those lines.)

I have a hunch that whoever asked this question--and possibly whoever answered this question, saying that this sort of behavior is acceptable--is from, like, Alabama or Kentucky. And might sport a mullet. And probably owns a Confederate flag. I've got the Deliverance banjo music in my head now...

12 comments:

EVula said...

Uh... I've seen some of the guys that work on my car when I bring it in. This is... um... I think the proper term would be "vomit inducing."

And before any Southerners jump all over the Yankee for her that final paragraph, I'd like to point out that I'm in the South and had the exact same thoughts...

I'm also tempted to do a cost comparison between brake fluid and actual lube, just to see how much of a savings there would be.

(though I've got a ladyfriend named Mercedes who is too classy for this, so I didn't jump straight to that)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Vomit-inducing, indeed...in SO many ways!

Re: the cost comparison...wouldn't it be hilarious if actual lube is actually cheaper than brake fluid? That would be a FAIL on so many levels: Budget FAIL, Classiness FAIL, Creative Sex Ideas FAIL...and that's just the beginning!

Becky said...

That can't be healthy. But then again, I bet a cigar isn't either. I'm looking at you, Bill Clinton.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yeah, you're probably right about that, Becky. (At least the cigar doesn't have the same, um, goopiness factor that brake fluid does, though!)

HorribleLicensePlates said...

They probably drive this car http://horriblelicenseplates.blogspot.com/2008/12/trans-rampage.html

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Ooh, definitely possible...but I think even that TransAm might be just a bit too classy for Mr. Brake Fluid. I'm thinkin' he drives either a pickup with a shotgun rack mounted in the back or some completely ghettofied, souped-up douchemobile in a putrid color like Tweety Bird-yellow...

Cleetus said...

Ya'll dont know what yer talkin about on this here grammer site now. For one thang I'm drivin a Dodge Ram ok? And I just changed the oil inher yesterday. Ya'll got some problem with that? And Betsy my sweety Pie, she loves her break fluid right smart in her old gear box bfore we hit the hey. Damn Yankees! Now if ya'll be so kind as to excuse me - I got a squirrel on the BARBY Q out behind my dang trailer.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Cleetus, somehow I'm not surprised that you made a homonym error when you were talking about *brake* fluid. Sigh.

(Don't worry, you guys--I know the real person behind "Cleetus," and he's a funny guy...and certainly not a hick. This is just a drill and NOT an actual, serious attack on RPI via weapons of mass grammar destruction. This concludes this message from the Emergency Anti-Hick Broadcasting system; thank you, and good day!)

EVula said...

Cost comparison: well, a quick trip over to Froogle turned up Castrol Brake Fluid (12oz) for $3.99, versus ForPlay water-based lubricant (1.2oz) for $3.95. So, for the frugal mechanic-cum-ladies-man, I suppose it's an option, especially since he'd probably get it for free from the shop; but if he's actually trying to use this with the ladies, the brake fluid might be the only thing he'll be getting for free...

Okay, now my browser's history has been sullied.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

EVula, mad props to you for doing this research. :) And I agree with you that the brake fluid's the only thing this dude's gonna get for free if that's really what he ended up using...

Yvie said...

I'm beginning to notice a disturbing correlation between mind-numbingly stupid sex questions and Yahoo...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yep, Yvie, there is definitely a correlation between the two! Ironically, the types of people who post and answer these types of questions over at Yahoo are EXACTLY the types who shouldn't be doing any activity that ould potentially allow them to reproduce...