Tuesday, October 14, 2008

TO/TOO/TWO TUESDAY (post 1 of 2)


BALLS!!!!!

Yes, my mind is on balls right now.

Specifically, baseballs. But balls nonetheless.

See, here's the thing. My Phillies won tonight. That means they're 3-1 in this series against the Dodgers. If they win 1 more game, they're off to the World Series, baby! And there's nothing more exciting to me than that right now. Phillies baseball is everything to me right now. Which explains why my little heart is still palpitating from tonight's roller coaster of a game. And it also explains why I called people up and, instead of saying hello, I just shrieked at them. (Mama Grammarphile's eardrums are both broken now, you guys. It's a problem.) And it explains why I've been giggling like crazy, counting the hours until I get to see Bilfy McBilf (that's Cole Hamels, for those of you who aren't up on my crazy nicknames for hot baseball players) pitch what might (hopefully) be the final game in this NLCS series on Wednesday.

But anyway. Back to the balls.

While watching the Phillies game tonight, I heard the sportscasters talking about how, when people go to a store and buy a baseball, it's not exactly the same kind of baseball that the ballplayers use. I mean, it's the same type of ball, but there's something different about it.

Apparently ballpark employees (not sure which employees, exactly, since I was too busy giggling maniacally to pay attention to this detail) rub down the balls before the game starts. That's right. They rub them down, presumably to get the, you know, newness off of them so that they aren't all slidey and stuff in the pitchers' hands.

But I couldn't get the thought of a bunch of baseball folks, just hangin' around before a game, rubbin' a bunch of balls, out of my head. I mean, how is this task communicated and delegated? Does the boss just come tell you to get into the clubhouse and start rubbing some balls, or what? (Do the Phillies or Twins have an opening for someone to do this job? Hel-lo! Pick me, pick me, pick me!) The more I think about it, the more I giggle. It's 2 AM, I'm on a baseball high, and perverted stuff is funny.

Anyway. There's a little grammar error here (on this sign that references BALLS) that I should discuss. I can try to be serious when talking about grammar, right? The sign-writer should have written loses instead of looses, obviously. (Am I the only one who's scared of how one of said balls gets crushed, though?)

Okay, enough Serious Grammar Talk. (The Serious Grammar talk lasted for all of, like, 5 seconds, but whatever. I'm punchy.) BALLS!!!!!

10 comments:

Becky said...

That job would suck. I used to have to scrub the bases with bleach, and that sucked even more.

Bilfy McBilf said...

I always knew there was something suspicious going on in the Bullpen...

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Ooh, scrubbing the bases with bleach can't be good for your hands! Poor thing!

LEN said...

GP: Dirty Jobs did a segment on this mud and who gets to, er, apply it. I don't know if that episode is available online, but you can also find out more on this topic here.

(I found your site through a recent comment of your on the Grammar Vandal's site. BTW, there's a typo in your last comment :-) )

Arjewtino said...

Dod you see the homeplate umpire last night licking his hand and then rubbing the balls in between innings?

His "strike" zone was bad enough, but to see him practically salivating on his balls was too much.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

If there's something suspicious going on in the bullpen, I think I should go investigate it a little more closely...to make sure those pitchers aren't using bad grammar, of course. ;)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Ha! Thanks for the heads-up on the, um, baseball rubbing, Len! (Also, thanks for the heads-up on the typo; I'm anal-retentive enough that I went back, deleted the comment, and re-commented...sans typo this time, of *course*!)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Arjewino, I didn't notice the umpire's dirty little habit...I'm really glad I missed that! Yuck!

LEN said...

Oops! As carefully as I examined my first comment, I now see that I still managed to leave the "s" off of "yours" in the first sentence in my parenthetical comment :-(

I have to laugh about your compulsion to correct your comment - but mostly because I'd do the same thing!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Haha! OMG, collectively we're the most anal-retentive, OCD blog commenters EVER! :)