Monday, September 8, 2008

Freakin' baseball.

Okay, I have to admit I'm a little bitter today. (And, admittedly, "a little bitter" is an understatement.) I was at the Phillies/Mets doubleheader yesterday, during which the first game went well (6-2 in favor of the Phillies) and the second game went not so well (in favor of the Mets). My favorite baseball player ever, Cole Hamels, pitched in the second game, and the Mets kind of beat up on him. (Despite the fact that I had no voice left, since I'd used it all up screaming at Greg Dobbs when he did all sorts of good stuff in Game 1, I still screamed my little heart out for Hamels, and am convinced that the only reason I didn't get my ass kicked by the Mets fans sitting near me was because I screamed completely ridiculous things like "You're still beautiful, Cole!" and "I LOVE YOU, HAMELS!" and, of course, "Cole Hamels, DO IT FOR THE BILFS!!!!" They were probably like, "Jesus Christ. Idiot girl.")

Anyway, the evil Mets fans rattled my poor Hamels, and they also kind of rattled me. Unlike Game 1, where half of Shea was filled with rowdy Phillies fans, there were hardly any Phillies fans left for Game 2, and I was the only Phillies fan in my entire section. Plus, the Summer's Eve sitting next to me was some 500-pound Mets fan who was so large that he took up his entire seat and half of mine, so of course when I realized nobody was sitting in the seat on the other side of me, I quietly moved over there, and then, each time the Phillies did something screwy or the Mets did something good, Mr. Big, Dumb Mets Fan then proceeded to pound the shit out of the empty chair I'd vacated. Had he not outweighed me by about 400 pounds, I probably would have decked him. (Yes, I'm passionate about my Phillies, but I am not stupid; I kept my clenched little fists to myself, albeit reluctantly.)

But I digress. With the Phillies being a frustrating 2 games out of first in the NL East, and with having to deal with all the annoying Mets fans on the train to and from the games, I'm in rare form indeed. I got this e-mail about MLB fighting cancer and whatnot, and I can't help but be a teensy bit critical. I know, I know. For a moment, I should quit being a grammar bitch and should be grateful that MLB's doing their part to help fight cancer, especially since I know cancer survivors and have lost family members to cancer. I am grateful that MLB's putting forth this effort, but all I'm sayin' is that the e-mail about this initiative could be a little bit...better worded? There's awkward phrasing, passive voice...and since when was baseball considered a proper noun? (If they wrote Major League Baseball, I can be cool with it being a proper noun, but not when they just wrote Baseball.)

Whatever. It's Monday morning. I'm sucking down caffeine, trying to wake up, and remembering all those moments last night where Hamels looked like a freakin' god. (He's still breathtakingly gorgeous, even when the Mets are hitting home runs off him.) Yeah, the Phillies might be in second place (for now! I hope it's only temporary!), but we still have the hottest pitcher (Hamels), second baseman (Utley), left fielder (Burrell), and pinch-hitter/third baseman (Dobbs) ever. Not that hotness matters much when it comes to getting into the playoffs, but it's gotta count for something, right? Sigh.

8 comments:

mama grammarphile said...

I am happy you survived your encounter with those evil Mets fans. I am sorry Cole let you down. It would have been so sweet to have swept those pesky Mets. *sigh*
Love you.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Hi, Mom! Yeah, I felt bad for Cole. He was definitely rattled. He still looked so gorgeous, though. Even though it was an annoying game, it was worth it to go just to see him pitch, even if the Mets did run all over him. Sigh.

Becky said...

Eeek, the fat, angry Mets fan sounds scary!

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Oh, he was scary indeed. I sincerely hoped he enjoyed all my "OMG Cole, I love you!!!" screams. ;)

Becky said...

I could see how that might annoy him -- or at least make him jealous. I went to a game last spring against Tampa Bay, and I kept yelling "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" whenever Eva(n) Longoria got up to bat. I think people around me might have gotten annoyed.

Diesel said...

Wow, you're kind of, um, harsh. I thought I was a grammar Nazi. Nice catch on the Ben & Jerry's though.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Becky, that's HILARIOUS. I would have laughed my ass off if I'd heard that! (He's kinda hot, though. He's no Josh Hamilton or Joe Mauer, but I think he's one of the more attractive American Leaguers.)

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

Yeah, Diesel, I'm a cold-hearted grammar bitch sometimes--especially after my Phillies lose a game. :)