Sunday, June 15, 2008

Come on, ride the [ho] train--come ride it... (Believe it or not, this is my Father's Day entry.)

My dad has taught me a lot in life. He taught me how to drive, taught me about baseball (let's go, Phillies!), taught me really difficult things like algebra and trig (well, he tried, anyway--an English major can only do so well with numbers)...and taught me about trains. There have been model trains in my house ever since I can remember--trains around the Christmas tree, trains on wooden platforms in the basement, etc. Because of all the cool train layouts I've seen my dad set up, I know more about model trains than the average 27-year-old girl does.

I also know that the above should probably read HO-scale trains instead of simply HO trains. (For those of you not up to speed on your train-related lingo, there are different sizes of model trains, and HO is the name of one of those sizes.)

This picture would have been mildly amusing had the sign advertised nothing more than a man hoping to find HO-scale trains. But do I usually feature just mildly amusing stuff on this site? Oh, no--I like to feature laugh-'till-you-pee-your-pants sort of stuff here. While it's not written in an ungrammatical fashion, the rest of the sign is really freakin' funny. This guy will take his HO trains in any condition! Old or used! And he'll pay cash instantly! What an undiscriminating fellow!

I can't help but get that old O'Jays song in my head when I look at this sign, only in my head it now goes like "People all over the world, join hands--start a ho train, a ho train..." (I bet a train of actual hos would look...well, not much different from what Saturday night at the Hardware Bar looks like, but amusing--in a scary sort of way--nonetheless.)

I'm trying to find a good segue between talking about a ho train and talking about my dad, and I'm failing miserably.

In conclusion: DAD/PAPA GRAMMARPHILE, thanks for all that you've done and all that you do. Thanks for teaching me so many things and helping to shape me into the person I am today. I couldn't have gotten luckier in the Dad department, and even though I don't say it all the time, I'm incredibly grateful to have you in my life. Happy birthday--and happy Father's Day, too!

On Father's Day, let's not forget my GRANDPA GRAMMARPHILE, from whom I inherited my troublemaking skills and my klutziness. Grandpa Grammarphile always manages to make me laugh and smile, even when he's "pesting" me. And, finally, I can't forget the late POP-POP GRAMMARPHILE, who used to come to Phillies games with me and my parents a long time ago, and who would surely smile if he could see how big of a Phillies fan I am today (although he'd probably cringe if he heard me screaming "DO IT FOR THE BILFS!!!", as I often do when Chase Utley's up to bat).

To those of you who are dads, happy Father's Day to you--and for those of you who are lucky enough to still have dads and grandpas around, don't forget to let them know how special they are to you!


papa grammarphile said...

Thanks, Doll. I really appreciate the happy birthday and father's day wishes. I love you a lot.


You're welcome, Dad. I love you a lot, too! :)

Marilyn said...

I like the lowercase l issue too: "OlD".


Haha, yeah, that's great! Just one more detail that makes this flyer absolutely priceless. :)

Becky said...

Isn't "Ridin' the Ho Train" a song by Flo Rida or something?


Hey, Becky! I don't know who does that song, and that's a good thing...'cause if I knew, I'd probably go after them with a sledgehammer. That song REALLY sticks in a person's head, doesn't it? :)