Monday, April 21, 2008

...who's the fairest one of all?


On Saturday, I went to Citizens Bank Park to watch the Phillies lose to the Mets. (Okay, it wasn't exactly my intention to watch them lose, but that's what happened.) I was my typical retardedly obnoxious Phillies fan/BILF-loving self at the game. I firmly believe that life's too short to not embarrass yourself (and everyone who's with you at the game) by screaming your face off at your favorite baseball players. The game kinda went like this:

* Every time Pat Burrell stepped up to the plate, I screamed "I LOVE YOU, PAT!"

* Every time Pat Burrell struck out (which I believe was every at-bat except one) I screamed, "NICE TRY, PAT! I STILL LOVE YOU!"

* Every time Chase Utley came up to bat, I screamed, "C'MON, CHASE! DO IT FOR THE BILFS!!!!" (referring, of course, to my somewhat hapless fantasy baseball team and its desperate need to score some actual points).

* When Greg Dobbs came up to bat (he was pinch-hitting), I think I actually squeaked from excitement. Then I began my "I LOVE YOU, GREG!!!"-type screaming, at which point people in my section were probably going, "Who?" (In my completely unbiased *snicker* opinion, Greg Dobbs is totally underrated. And not just because he's cute, either. But maybe, just maybe, that might kinda be a part of why I dig him.)

(Sidenote: I don't normally think jock-types are all that cute, so I have no idea how this whole BILFs phenomenon actually happened or why I think so many baseball players are cute, but I digress...)

Anyway, I'm sure you can imagine that when I go to Phillies games, I always have my camera with me to take pictures of interesting things that are happening during the game (like Pat Burrell standing on first base, looking pretty, or Chase Utley rounding third and heading home). And lo and behold, this time I captured a picture of something more than just a pretty face: I got a picture of a really poorly-worded sentence!

To entertain the fans during a pitching change, they showed this cute little feature on Phanavision where a bunch of the Phillies were asked which of their teammates spends the most time looking in the mirror. But they worded it really badly on the screen. I'll happily accept "Who spends the most time at the mirror?" or "Who spends the most time looking in the mirror?", but I will not accept "Who spends the most time in the mirror?", because none of these players are actually, physically, IN THE MIRROR.

Amusingly enough, all the players ended up ganging up on poor Dobbs, claiming that he's the one who spends the most time looking in the mirror. The picture above shows Dobbs--although it's not the greatest picture of him...perhaps he didn't spend enough time looking in the mirror beforehand?--defending this claim. (I was surprised...I'd actually expected that if the team ganged up on anyone, it would have been Pat Burrell, who's notorious for standing out in left field, taking off his baseball cap and messing with his hair in the middle of the game.)

2 comments:

Mike Spoodles said...

Sweet! This may be substantially the largest grammar error yet.

THE GRAMMARPHILE said...

I was completely appalled by this error. You know it has to be a bad, BAD error for me to take my eyes off those cute baseball players on the field for even one second...