Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Hey, Spitzer--you're so screwed!


Today's Red Pen, Inc. entry is dedicated to JOE and SKIPPY, two of my favorite people from the last radio station at which I worked!

My dear friends Joe and Skippy hate that dastardly Eliot Spitzer. Pretty much all radio folks loathe him. See, Mr. Spitzer had gone on a little witch hunt to try to find radio people engaging in pay-for-play. He wanted to make sure that no radio personnel were accepting gifts from record labels in exchange for playing that label's bands on the radio. Mr. Spitzer scared the hell out of so many radio personnel, in fact, that even those who never engaged in any pay-for-play would find themselves turning down gifts--even small ones--from record labels for fear that accepting anything would make it LOOK like they MIGHT engage in pay-for-play even though they never actually did. Joe had to turn down tickets to a really cool concert/football game for this very reason. This made Joe very angry. He wandered the halls of the radio station swearing up and down that he was going to pee on Eliot Spitzer. Coincidentally, Joe's birthday was right around the corner, and I made him a very creative present: I bought a toilet seat and decorated it with glittery red targets, and in the middle of each target was a picture of Mr. Spitzer. Classy, I know, but it was super-duper-cool, and it put a smile on Joe's face and made him slightly less bitter.

Behold the most awesome toilet seat EVER:
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But I digress. Joe and Skippy and I couldn't have been happier today when Mr. Holier-Than-Thou Spitzer turned out to be a slut-screwing scumbag. That's exciting news for us. Gives us something to giggle about for days to come, in fact. And--predictably--along with this mess Spitzer's gotten himself into comes oodles of articles about it, and--even more predictably--some of them feature bad grammar! The above excerpt is taken from The Huffington Post. No, they're not the ones who wrote the bad grammar. They took that excerpt from the escort service's web site (which, not surprisingly, is no longer live on the web). And when I think good grammar, I don't think escort service web site. So it doesn't shock me that there are a couple grammar mistakes in there:

1. "Introducing the most impressive models to leading gentleman of the world..." What, they're only introducing these models to one gentleman? Singular gentleman as opposed to gentlemen (plural)? I guess that's one lucky fucker...literally.

2. "...our models are perfect preference." WTF? This doesn't even make sense. (Then again, it's an escort service web site; what the hell did I expect? Quantum physics?)

I just love how Mr. Spitzer, the goober who was so into going after radio personnel for engaging in pay-for-play is now in hot water himself for pay-for-lay. How's that for poetic justice?

The one website whose bad grammar I don't mind is www.icanhascheezburger.com. In the spirit of celebrating Mr. Spitzer's downfall, I went over to the "LOLcats" site and made this little gem for you all to enjoy:


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4 comments:

Justin on The Point said...

All Access had the best headline ever yesterday, "The Karma train comes 'round on Spitzer".

The Grammarphile said...

Ha! That's FANTASTIC. You know, I don't think anybody (including myself) would give a damn about this except that he was SO holier-than-thou about everything...and now it's clear that he's a total hypocrite. I don't really care that he slept with prostitutes, but I do care about the fact that he was presenting himself as a freakin' saint when, in fact, he's no better than any of the scumbags he denounced and persecuted in the past.

Jacob said...

You know those elevators that have TVs tuned to CNN in them? I was in one of those the other day and they were talking about the Spitzer case. A little boy says to his mother, "What's a prostitute?"

I actually mumbled to myself, without even meaning to, the song from South Park:

No, you don't pay her to stay
You pay her to leave afterwaaaards...

The Grammarphile said...

Haha! So how exactly did his mother explain to him what a prostitute is? :) Miss ya, Jakery!