Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Taking a red pen to the Red Sux.

Those of you who know me personally know that I root for three baseball teams:

1. The Phillies (oh, how I loooove my Phillies);
2. The Yankees (because now that I'm in New York, I kinda have to pick a New York team to like, and since it sure as hell will never be the Mets, it's the Yankees by default...oh, yeah, and Andy Phillips is hot); and
3. Anybody but the Red Sox.

Obviously, I was highly disappointed by the outcome of this year's World Series. I mean, I could have forgiven Colorado for kicking the crap out of the Phillies if they'd then gone on to kick the crap out of the Red Sox. But that didn't happen. And it still makes me very, very sad.

But what makes me very, very happy is when I see Red Sox-related grammar errors like the one above.

Two or more baseball players who play for that godforsaken baseball team in Boston are called Red Sox.

One baseball player who plays for that godforsaken baseball team in Boston does not a Red Sox make. That's a Red Sock. Singular. As opposed to Red Sox (ugh, I truly hate the way they spell that), which is plural, indicating multiple baseball players who play for that godforsaken baseball team in Boston.

Now, even though Curt Schilling is a big dude, he is not multiple Red Sox. He is a singular Red Sock. This is a non-negotiable fact.

If the writer didn't want to write the awkward-as-hell "Red Sock" phrase in the headline, there are so many better ways he could have constructed the sentence, such as:

"Curt Schilling will remain a player for the Red Sox, but..."

"Curt Schilling will remain a Red Sox baseball player, but..."

"Curt Schilling will remain a member of that pain-in-the-ass, egomaniacal, Yankee-hating team from Boston, but..."

You get my drift, I'm sure.

I used to actually like Curt Schilling, back when he was a Phillie (see, that's singular), but now he's gone to the dark side...he's part of the Red Sux (that's not a typo), which is an unforgivable sin. Therefore I feel not even a shred of guilt about mocking him or a headline about him here at Red Pen, Inc.


Beth said...

Aw...I agree with you on everything grammar but I LOVE THE RED SOX!


The Grammarphile said...

It's okay, Beth. I still like you anyway. ;) (And--grudgingly--congrats on the Series. Despite the fact that I wish it would have been the Phillies instead!)